She!

She was the fourth daughter in the household of eight children. She was her father’s favourite and the responsible and shrewd one among the eight. Right from her elementary school days, she took the responsibility of carrying the butter milk for her father to his farm, as she knew her father would not have any lunch and after his early breakfast, that butter milk was the only meal he would have before he comes back in the evening. In her lunch break of one hour, she managed to walk around three kilometers to deliver the buttermilk to her father, come back and hastily finish her lunch and rush back to school, but alas she would be late most of the time and got her share from the teachers, but her love for her father did not allow her to give up instead she fastened her pace and there were also days she had to skip her lunch.

She, as she grew up, took care of her elder sisters’ children when she was a child herself. She, who could not dream of being pampered, pampered and cared for her sister’s daughter as her own when she was just fifteen. She lost most of her night’s sleep taking care of the toddler, yet she did not complain. She was happy that she could help and reduce her mother’s burden. She ran the household when she was in high school and it was tougher during summer when her married sisters with her children came for summer holidays. She also had to take care of seven to eight children added to all the work she already had.

She, post her schooling, in spite of her desire to go to college, had to give up her studies as her education was down prioritized compared to her brothers’ like any other Indian family of those days. Yet, she continued to be that daughter on whom her parents could count on and the sister to whom her siblings could look up to.

She attained the age of marriage and with five daughters; all her father could manage was to find someone with a decent job for his daughters. She was married to a groom with a government job. She, like any other girl, got married carrying all her dreams and expectations, which she secretly nurtured for a long time, which she couldn’t afford in her parents’ home. Least did she know about the reality of being the elder daughter-in-law of a big family in which her husband, the eldest son, was the only bread-whiner. Her longing and dream of being pampered with love also was burnt in the temper flames and chauvinistic attitude of her husband. There were times when she lost all hopes, when her life seemed so meaningless to her, when she desired to break all those chains fastened around her legs, but she held fort keeping in mind the future of her younger siblings. Her sacrifices continued post marriage as her husband strove hard to fulfill his responsibilities towards his parents and siblings. Despite how her husband treated her, she was rightful in her responsibilities and supportive in his duty towards his family. She sacrificed her wishes, so that her husband could get his sisters and brothers married. She tasted the bitterness of her efforts not being recognized by the person for whom she did all those.

She, destiny’s favourite playground, was challenged with the next problem of being not able to conceive. Without the luxury of any treatment, her only asylum was at the feet of God. She walked through hell facing all the social pressure, criticism from relatives and all those condemnation from in-laws for seven years after which her prayers were finally answered with a female child.

She knew that with a female child her dependency on the marriage increased many-folds as it was her daughter’s future that mattered from that moment on. Yet, she did not feel bad; on the contrary, her daughter became her entire world.

She showered all those bottled up love and utmost care on the blessed one. After all who would understand the needs and desires of a female child than her? She made sure her daughter does not have to ask for any of those. No matter what she wore, her daughter had the best clothes. She was happy about her husband’s love for his daughter, which helped her bring up her daughter like a princess. Her happiness lied in dressing up her daughter in the same color as her saree. When someone commented, “matching mother and daughter” that made her day!

She, though pampered her daughter like a princess, knew the thin line between pampering and spoiling a child. Her daughter was not spoiled. She was strict in disciplining her and teaching her manners. At the same time, she was her daughter’s first and best friend, who was always there to listen to her. She spoke to her after school and inquired about the child’s day, building that rapport, making the child comfortable talking to her. As the child grew up, they both spoke on anything and everything under the sky. Once, when they relocated to a new city, her daughter had to join a new school. Being a shy child, she could not make any friends and the initial days were very tough for the child. Seeing her daughter’s trouble, she visited her school every day during lunch; so that her child need not eat alone and she prayed that her child should settle down soon and get good friends. Her prayer was answered in a greater magnitude that her daughter was never short of friends in any phase of her life till date.

She, from the day her daughter was born, was very strong in one thing - her daughter should grow-up to be an independent woman and she knew that her education was the key to it. So, she always was very keen and attentive in her child’s studies. She encouraged her child and bribed her with gifts for her academic success. She forgot her sleep, when her daughter faced her board exams. She was always with her supporting her in her every venture, rejoicing in her successes and backing her in all the challenges she faced. The best day of her life was when her daughter stepped into her first job, the day on which her 21 year-long dream became true.

She continued to instill in her daughter the fierce need to be independent. She nurtured her strength to withstand testing times. She also by her life taught her the beauty of humility. She trusted her and gave her enough freedom. She continued to be her best friend, listening, comforting and advising. Her life became her daughter’s lesson in so many ways. When the time came for her daughter to make a life-changing decision, she stood by her daughter. She understood the rationale behind the decision and respected it. She again trusted her daughter’s ability. Though, she was torn inside, to see her precious daughter’s life take such a huge blow, she, with her bleeding wounds, tended to her daughter’s, making her strong. She was criticized by her own family that she should correct her daughter instead of blindly supporting her. Her answer to them was, ‘I trust my daughter and her decision. Just because I should die peacefully, I will not condemn my daughter into life-long suffering’.

She is her daughter’s role model, her best friend, her well-wisher, her sibling and also her best critique. She, in spite of all her physical ailments that comes with age, continues to be her daughter’s everything.

And, she is the most important woman in my life, My Mother!

When I woke up today to a bundle of whatsapp texts about women and their achievements, I am thankful to wake up near this silent achiever, an epitome of motherhood.

P.S. When I was writing this, she peeped into my laptop screen, maybe seeing the mixed expressions on my face. I told her that I was writing about her and she laughed it off saying what’s there to write about her. Least did she know, whether I write my biography or hers, she would be the one on all the pages!

 

Thanks a lot dear Deepa!! Yup, a tribute to motherhood and all those wonderful mothers out there!

 

Thanks a lot dear kukudukuu! Wishes conveyed.. and you need not guess it, I named the thread like that and tagged it "mother". I think you didnt notice

 

Sure dear Maggie. Wishes conveyed and she is so shy

Yes, I always used to wonder how she could be so selfless, even when she was a small girl. My grandpa (her father) used to tell me a lot about her early days. And, yes, she continues to be at my side and with her at my side, its easier to face certain things.

 

Thanks a lot dear momsky! I am lucky too to receive such a sweet feedback.