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She Walked Down The Aisle!

Discussion in 'Stories (Fiction)' started by AhujaGirl, Jun 20, 2017.

  1. AhujaGirl

    AhujaGirl Silver IL'ite

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    She smiled. His heart skipped a beat. It felt like yesterday that they had met and today she was ready to walk down the aisle.

    She came and stood next to him and locked her arm in his and whispered, "You are my everything, you are all that I have!" His eyes dropped a tear, which he managed to mask with his smile. He whispered back to her with a choke in his voice, "You are my life!"

    They walked down the aisle and their happiness knew no bounds... He saw all the heads turn to see them and felt rather proud, when, all admired with awe at her. She kept her head low and beamed a smile. At the end of the aisle, he broke the arm lock and took her hand in his, he held them for a minute and felt the life in him. Slowly, he lifted her hand and gave his life in the hands of the 'Other Man', who was waiting at the end of the aisle to take away his love to be the 'Other Man's' lady for life!

    As he handed her hand to the 'Other Man', he whispered in his ears, "Take care of her for life and never let her go." With this he stepped back and watched them exchange their vows, her eyes twinkled like a thousand stars and his heart skipped another beat like before.

    He knew she was someone else's now, from that moment forever, but, she would always be the one who made him skip his heart beat and she will remain in his Life!

    P.S: This is my first story here and I would love to hear some feedback from all to improve upon :)
     
    Dishaa, Adharv, iamsrihere and 4 others like this.
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  2. Rihana

    Rihana Moderator Staff Member IL Hall of Fame

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    Is it a short story or just starting? Either way, a good start. A little suspense.. or maybe just me being dense! : ) Not sure who walked her down the aisle.

    I really liked the starting. "She smiled." That, with "His heart skipped a beat." sets the tone for the rest of the story. Nothing like simple sentences for a hook.
     
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  3. rgsrinivasan

    rgsrinivasan IL Hall of Fame

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    That was a nice and crisp attempt AhujaGirl.
    The twist was neatly portrayed. Write more! -rgs
     
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  4. AhujaGirl

    AhujaGirl Silver IL'ite

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    Thank you so much for the feedback, well I shall leave it to the readers to assume who walked her down the aisle.
     
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  5. AhujaGirl

    AhujaGirl Silver IL'ite

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    Thank you so much for the encouragement :)
     
  6. iamsrihere

    iamsrihere Platinum IL'ite

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    Beautifully written!

    I assumed its her father...
     
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  7. AhujaGirl

    AhujaGirl Silver IL'ite

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    Thank you so much for the feedback. The interpretation lies with the reader, there can be no wrong answers and any assumption is absolutely fine... :)
     
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  8. teenulahari

    teenulahari Gold IL'ite

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    so..beautiful!!! very good write up Ahuja Girl.
     
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  9. AhujaGirl

    AhujaGirl Silver IL'ite

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    I'll try doing that. Thank you so much for the honest feedback
     
  10. AhujaGirl

    AhujaGirl Silver IL'ite

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    Thanks a bunch Lahari :)
     
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