"she Just Sits With Baby"....?!!

I know how it feels when your own parents do not stand up for you. Been there myself.

I can't give baby-specific solutions, but some tips to deal with inlaws and husband.

1) YOu cannot satisfy everyone. PERIOD. If your husband does not want to sleep train your baby, try convincing him ONCE! Read up on the internet pros and cons and paint a picture as to how it will be beneficial for the baby, you, him and everyone involved. If he doesn't listen, go do your thing anyway. Sleep train your child.

2) For your inlaws, tell them (if they raise the topic) every kid is different and I would rather spend some time enjoying with my child when she is young rather than doing household work.

3) If point #2 means that your MIL is burdened with the household work, then appoint a maid or a cook or whoever.

4) Finally, for your sanity and to improve your condition - Sit for a few minutes and analyse how time goes. See if there are chunks of even 10 - 15 minutes that you can use productively. Sometimes, we just glide through our days with no regard to what we are doing. Getting a grip on where your time is spent will help you eliminate any unproductive activities

 

If you are nt staying with in laws, why are you updating everything to your in laws. If they ask about the kid. say everything is going fine, I am managing. Yeah its wrong for them to tell like this. when they repeat the same say that every goes through , but they forget when they become old. Actually this is true.

Actually kids till they turn 3 or 4 years it will be difficult for moms. It will be like coma stage. Not only you everyone goes through this.

Are you working? If not, take kid outside to play, so he will be tired, give him a bath , feed him, he will immediately goes to sleep. If not put try to co-sleep, tell the stories. Doing so you will get rest. Cooking keep it minimum for few more days.
In abroad you will have all the facilities like Dish washer, Vaccum cleaner, and dust will also be less(every day undust and brooming is not required). So i feel it is easy to maintain. May be I am wrong here.

 

@MindVoice


You are not living with your Ils? That makes it much easier.
1) Do not tell them everything!

2) And why do you care if you are labelled "bad mother lets her kid cry". DO you need someone else's certificate? Aren't you convinced that you are a good mother? That is all that matters. Contact your pediatrician and get his help to sleep train your child. Perhaps there are better ways to get your child to sleep, other than letting her cry. Better yet, get him to talk to your H about the benefits.

3) Cook every 2-3 days for you and your H and freeze. For your kid, cook fresh. It reduces your work.

4) You resent them going behind your back, I get it.. BUT can you help it? NO! Then why bother? Remember the Serenity Prayer and make that your mantra.

5) You seriously need to ignore what your inlaws think, what your H pretends and what he really thinks etc.... You are wasting way too much time, energy and mindspace for such trivial things. Do the best you can.

P.S. Serenity Prayer

God grant me the serenity
to accept the things I cannot change;
courage to change the things I can;
and wisdom to know the difference

 

Don't think like that. To be honest, my DH insisted on doing the cry out method. When I look back now, without his support I would have clingy DS. My DS is 13-month-old and he is sleep trained from almost as early as 2 months. I understand your DH will not support you on this matter. You be confident and take it in your hands and just do it. trust me it makes things way easier.
As, I have sleep trained my DS- in the current scenario he cries maybe for 2 min maximum. He might not fall asleep the next min he stops crying. He is awake, standing in the crib, that's ok. He doesn't cry. He will fall asleep when he is sleepy.

Recently after finishing up a skype talk with my mom.. I laid my DS in the crib.. his cry made my mom cringe and she started this rant about how wrong I am in doing this cry out method. I was super pissed and gave her earful.

The whole point is my mother also went through the same struggles as I am when she was raising me and my sibling. However, when it comes to pointing out mistakes or suggestion she outrightly tells me where I can do things better or how my method is not right. If it comes from IL's I will be super pissed.



Other tips to manage- have baby gates in the house- so you can restrict your child's access to rooms.
Childproof the house- all rough edges of table ends, electric outlets, cupboards can be locked.
Have toys and a mat- make a space for your child to play with toys in that area.
Have your menu planned ahead- This is a savior for me. I didn't have to think what I should do for dinner, breakfast, lunch at the last min. I can have things prepped the previous night. My DH and I spend time together and plan out what to cook and shop only that specific items on a weekend.
Have a day schedule- This again gives me time to do everything I need to do. I start to prepare for dinner right around 9 am. This schedule includes my exercise, and one chore ( carpets to be washed/ bathroom to be cleaned)
My DH has to have meat at dinner- so the thawing starts as early as 11am and the dinner will be done by 3 pm. I am cooking 3 separate meals, coz I dont do meat and my DS meals are separate.
Have a schedule for your baby too- Dont feed/ sleep on demand.

My house is spick and span at least in the living room and guest bath- we can entertain anyone without no notice. At the most--During the day of the week- you might catch the clothes in the laundry basket to be put away.

Apart from that. I get to do everything.Even study when my DS takes a nap. Sleep training is the Key. Do it. Dont think you are a bad mother.. you and your child need that individual space.