Sharing Experiences

Discussion in 'Community Chit-Chat' started by MonikaSG, Dec 29, 2017.

  1. salad

    salad Gold IL'ite

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    Thank you @MonikaSG for tagging me. Yes I am reading all the answers. I love philosophy and love to talk. Lessons from experienced people will always help us. Thank you for this thread.

    I have gone through so many ups and downs in my short life. But I am not sure if I should tell them as lessons?? and don't consider myself grown up enough to advice others ( so most of the time I am reader rather than writer :sconf:).Cause even though I don't want to repeat history in my life, sometime I can see it is and here I am not sure how to handle it!:confundio1:

    Feel like I didn't learn the lessons correctly in the first shot!.:oops:

    I used to be a perfectionist & A planner ( from a book shelf to big events in life. I know how I want it but not humans:smash2:) but then I realised god doesn't have all those plans for me. So now I am trying to take life as it comes.

    The reason I chose my name is salad - salad has all kind of veges and fruits and some dressings. Means 90 % goodness and 10% negativeness.
    I want to be a positive person. No matter what happens in my life. At least 90% ( I am not god to expect 100 right:shakehead: )
     
  2. Happygirl6

    Happygirl6 Bronze IL'ite

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    Wow amazing post. I like the way you are taking your life. All the best
     
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  3. Sandycandy

    Sandycandy IL Hall of Fame

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    Agree ! Salad you come across as someone very mature and positive !!
    Happy new year salad and happy girl !!
     
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  4. MonikaSG

    MonikaSG Platinum IL'ite

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    Thanks dear for replying.... Meaning of salad is too good. I always used to think why you kept that name. You are living with a positive attitude that is the only thing required to fight with all ups and downs. These are all there just to teach us some lessons and to make us mature and grown up. Don't worry about anything. I wish you a very happy new year and may you get everything that you need. All the best. Take care :)

    Happy New Year to all the lovely ladies....Thanks for sharing your experiences here...I will love to read more from more persons. Just loving it. Thank you :)
     
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  5. MonikaSG

    MonikaSG Platinum IL'ite

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    My husband says he wanted to marry a housewife as he wanted all his work done by her. Whenever I ask for some support he put a blame on me that I am becoming over smart. These days he started saying I am learning all this from Indus ladies. I had an argument today with him. Don't know what to do. I am doing all kinds of adjustments but our thinking don't match at all in this case. So just looking out some opinion from you people. Specially @periamma and @joylokhi as you two have a great experience. What according to you should be my reaction and related action with such issue.
     
  6. joylokhi

    joylokhi Platinum IL'ite

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    Dear MonikaSG,
    I feel you need not take all this too seriously. I have learnt by experience that you cannot change the basic thinking of people just by arguing or trying to convince. I can understand situations where you may feel he ought to help you out where domestic matters are concerned. This you can achieve more by doing things to the extent possible by you without stretching yourself too much - meaning you can land up with health issues. If he finds things are not to his satisfaction, either he helps out or has to tolerate things as they are. This is just a general advise. Each issue may have its own solutions. Only do not try to reason out in the beginning, let him know from your actions only.
    QuoteThese days he started saying I am learning all this from Indus ladies Unquote
    This sort of reaction is very common when he feels you are trying to argue. Hence my above suggestions. Although it is not easy at all, it is better to just do what is possible from your side and not
    therefore not get flustered when there is no cooperation. Slowly he will have to accept you as you are.
     
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  7. MonikaSG

    MonikaSG Platinum IL'ite

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    Thanks..very true...I can't change his thinking by arguing. I am just behaving normally as its new year don't want to spoil the first day of it as we already did a lot. Will leave everything on time.
     
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  8. harinideep

    harinideep Gold IL'ite

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    Hi , try opos cooking . You can cook v easily and ll need lesser vessels . I get zero support for any house work . Initially I got v irritated. Now a days i dont ask help as cooking and cleaning has become easier to manage
     
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  9. Archanaanchan

    Archanaanchan IL Hall of Fame

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    Thank you @MonikaSG for thinking me worth contributing in this thread.

    1) I have come to believe that the farther you run from your limitations the farther you run from yourself. On the contrary , if you know your limitations and happily embrace them, there is absolutely no scope for conflict- with your own self, with people, with the world.
    2) Believe in your 'self'. Feel proud of who you are no matter what the world has to think about you. Keep your 'self' happy always. Remember for the light we seek has always been within us.
    3) Do not compare your life with anyone else. Your life is your own. Live it your way , create your own foot steps.
    4) Give room for a lot of positive thoughts. Talk to him as much as possible.
    5) Be nice and good as much as you can. Be helpful. Be kind.

    Over the time these are the ones that i have adopted in my life and i feel much happy and satisfied with my life today.

    I wish you a very prosperous and healthy new year 2018:)
     
  10. periamma

    periamma IL Hall of Fame

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    @MonikaSG Vairamuthu a famous Tamil writer mentioned the following quote in one of his masterpiece"NERUPPAI NERUPPAAL AZHIKKA MUDIYAATHU ".(YOU CAN'T PUT OFF THE FIRE WITH FIRE BUT YOU CAN PUT OFF WITH WATER)Argument doesn't help for a healthy relationship .For time being be calm and cool with a smile.sure he will realise his mistake.This is not an advise just a suggestion which may help you.Totally mindset of Men are the same for many decades.Above said formula worked out in our generation and let us hope for the best
     
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