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Shameless neighbour

Discussion in 'Friends & Neighbours' started by mimi77, Mar 31, 2015.

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  1. abla

    abla Gold IL'ite

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    I am quite disturbed by the fact that a lady with two kids are evicted from her place because she wears skimpy nighties in her own house with windows open .:-(
     
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  2. abla

    abla Gold IL'ite

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    How do you know whether this is even true ? Did anyone meet up with her old neighbors and had a chat ?
     
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  3. mimi77

    mimi77 Gold IL'ite

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    Yes someone in common shared the info
     
  4. Sparkle

    Sparkle Platinum IL'ite

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    Almost all body parts of women (and men) are sexualized. Even from very old poems and stories to today's item songs, we can see such references. What to reveal and what not to reveal widely varies from place to place and person to person. There are even meanings given to simple and natural reflexes (like blinking is for batting of eyelashes purposely).

    Don't know the complete story here, but it is possible that that lady lost her respect because of the way she dressed. After all, (almost) everyone judges a person by how they look and what they wear.
    Women can dress (revealingly) for comfort too. Often men misread this an inviting attitude to the opposite sex.

    Athletic wear can be considered skimpy too. But there are also pros like comfort and better performance. Doesn't necessarily mean that athletes are flashing to everyone watching the sport and inviting them for sex.

    Coming to movies and media, there is always an excuse of wearing skimpy clothes because of the role the actor is playing. That's justified again.

    Some parents ask their children to close their eyes and ears or look away when there is a sex scene or an inappropriate ad on TV, instead of turning the TV off. If only we had such attitude towards our fellow commoners....
     
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  5. CrayoNess

    CrayoNess Platinum IL'ite

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    Nudity (or partly) has nothing to do with sexuality. Children do not associate nudity with sex or shame, having a nonbiased view.
     
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  6. Laks09

    Laks09 Moderator Staff Member IL Hall of Fame

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    Regarding kids, I would be very careful when I use the term "vulgar" around them, no matter what age. Young kids cannot understand what one is wearing VS not wearing until adults are discussing that openly around them. So no, I've never needed to explain anything to my little kids.
    Now coming to teenagers, if I had a teenaged son, I would tell him the exact same thing that I tell my teenaged daughter. There is no girl/boy difference here. I would tell him that Mom has no control over what other people do with their bodies. Mom has absolute control over how he reacts to the same. I probably will grudgingly tolerate the neighbour but I will not tolerate any child of mine passing any derogatory remarks under my roof, no matter who is doing what.
    And if any of my relatives used terms like "shameless" in the context of a woman around my kids, that relative will never be in my house again.
    I take what my kids hear and see from me very seriously. I am their biggest role model. So even if a man or woman was barely clothed, I wouldn't bat an eye. I would keep a poker face and move on in life because the two people who are dependent on me are watching and learning from me. If I don't give it any importance, I'm sure my kids wouldn't be too affected by it. I will definitely not use the terms "shameless", "loose character", "easy", "vulgar" etc. to talk about anyone especially since I have a teenager at home.
     
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  7. 1Sandhya

    1Sandhya Platinum IL'ite

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    somehow I am getting the feeling that all those blaming OP, or onlookers for negative thoughts for this skimpily dressed person etc have never actually had a real life experience of seeing a fairly middle aged person dressed skimpily or revealingly. trust me, I have and the experience is quite :eek. Let me assure you that these displayed parts are not at all like what you are imagining. What you are imagining are the highly in shape, well toned, plucked as in dehaired, carefully positioned limbs of our svelte heroines designed to titillate to the max. Well there is a reason why those directors and photographers make so much money for truly there is a lot of thought and art to what they show. But in real life, what you see is least exciting and more like revolting, disgusting --there is hair on display, there is flab, there is sagging flesh, drooping etc etc, it is quite yucky thing to be forced to view such sight. I dont blame OP one bit for her outrage
     
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  8. mimi77

    mimi77 Gold IL'ite

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    I do not quite agree with Laks09 for her opinion that kids do not understand what one is wearing, not wearing until some adult is discussing......This is not true.....why do you think we teach children what to wear on different occasions. Even a child knows that her night wear is different from her day wear. Her party dress is different from her regular wear. We mothers set examples to our daughters. If she sees me skimpily dressed and showing myself off to my neighbours, she might just think it is ok to do so.....we teach our children what is ok and what is not ok.....I totally agree with Sandhya's description, it is an absolute disgusting sight, no one would take interest in watching her, but what she is doing is not right to do in a family friendly environment. There are teenagers, kids growing, outside visitors, not a pleasant sight to display.
     
  9. sokanasanah

    sokanasanah IL Hall of Fame

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    Not even if I am imagining a Lucian Freud antipasto? :rotfl

    Flabby, sagging, drooping flesh makes money too!
    Freud work sets new world record.
    Eye of the Muse

    I paint people not because of what they are like, not exactly in spite of what they are like, but how they happen to be.
    Lucian Freud

    Sandhya, I enjoyed that eek!
     
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  10. JanSri

    JanSri Silver IL'ite

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    I've been a silent reader of this thread. And can clearly see the lines drawn between the NRIs and RIs (for want of a better word). I have been both and can clearly understand both the POVs.
    Having said that, what one has experienced / knows cannot be applied for everyone's situation. I used to wear skinny PJs at home while I was an NRI, but after having come to India, have had to give up wearing them because of various reasons, mainly the horrid stares of the men - delivery guys, passing through guys (i live in an independent house, in case u are interested), and anybody else who passes through!! Like one poster mentioned, the apartments in the cities are so close to each other, one does need a sense of common responsibility. Like the conception about apartment goes - neither the land belongs to you, nor the sky. So when you are living in a sort of a community, the onus is on each and every person sharing the space to act responsibly. I dont think the OP is against her neighbour wearing whatever she is wearing. Its just that she chooses to put it on public display. She could put up with it, but when she is faced by it day in and day out, it does create an irritation I guess.
    IMO, "I'll do what I want" seems to me to be a brat's way of doing things.

    Just my two pence.
    J
     
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