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Sex drive in a sexless / Low Sex marriage ; Hypogonadism

Discussion in 'Married Life' started by madras2018, Jan 7, 2015.

  1. Jan 7, 2015 #1
    madras2018

    madras2018 Platinum IL'ite

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    Hi ladies - This is my first post but I have been following some of the threads on this forum. I sincerely appreciate how generously women have shared stories of their lives. Some of the them were a mirror image of my own life and i have found this forum immensely helpful. This has emboldened me to post a query..

    A bit about myself - 35 y/o in a 2.5 yr sexless marriage.

    1. I am curious to know if our (ie women) sex drive and desire for intimacy drops when we are in a temporary / longterm sexless situation or marriage ? The reason I ask is, earlier, when single and even newly married, I recall having a strong sex drive. But after 2.5 years in a sexless marriage (DH health issues) I feel as though my urge has ebbed away and have little to no urge at all- atleast not as strong as it was before. Does our body just shut down its sex drive to adapt to the situation when we aren't getting any ? I have always wondered if other women in a similar situation have also felt their sex drive ebb away ? Just want to add, i do feel the need for hugs and other non-sexual touch-based contact.

    2. Anyone whose spouse (DH) has hypogonadism / Low T situation ? For those who have tried chlomid / testim or other drugs for more than 6 months - I want to know if it worked for you and did you experience a significant improvement in intimacy and married life ?

    I look forward to responses.
     
    Last edited: Jan 7, 2015
    madras2018, Jan 7, 2015
    madras2018, Jan 7, 2015
    #1
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  2. Jan 7, 2015 #2
    SARAH284

    SARAH284 Senior IL'ite

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    Dear OP

    I can Answer your first question only through my personal experience

    I spend 2 years in a sexless marriage.Just like you i use to have a strong sex desire during first six month of the marriage which slow diminished with time .... Reason ... DEPRESSION. I tried to live like a normal person but inside i knew i am frustrated,resentful, full of shame and hurt.All the stress slowly led me to the depression.
    So yes , depression with trust issues and other misunderstanding can lead to lower sex drive in a person Male or female ...its nothing abnormal
    I will suggest you to go for counselling with your husband.
     
    SARAH284, Jan 7, 2015
    SARAH284, Jan 7, 2015
    #2
    1 person likes this.
  3. Jan 8, 2015 #3
    Gauri03

    Gauri03 Moderator Staff Member IL Hall of Fame

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    Sex drive does decrease with age but a complete absence of desire in a 35 year old isn't usual. From your OP, I couldn't tell whether your question is academic or whether the lack of libido actually bothers you. A major factor leading to low libido is stress. Cortisol, the stress hormone, has a negative impact on sex drive and reproductive ability. Depression and anxiety are other important factors to consider. Poor health, excess body weight, and lack of physical activity can also decrease sexual desire. Lack of sex, per se, will not cause your libido to disappear. But stress, brought on by a lack of sex, can have that effect. If you want to improve your libido, try exercise. A simple 30 minute walk everyday can make a big difference. Regular moderately-strenuous physical activity brings down cortisol, increases testosterone and adrenaline levels, and releases wellness boosting endorphins. There is some clinical evidence that this effect known as the 'runner's high' can actually be quite powerful in boosting sexual function.



    Has your husband tried hormone replacement therapy? There are risk factors which must be weighed against the potential benefit, but HRT can have dramatic and immediate benefits, especially with regard to sexual desire and function.
     
    Gauri03, Jan 8, 2015
    Gauri03, Jan 8, 2015
    #3

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