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Sending Daughter To India On Vacation

Discussion in 'Married Life' started by Independentgal, Aug 2, 2018.

  1. peartree

    peartree Platinum IL'ite

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    Why would anyone victimize a child of any nationality for any reason? Not sure how this comment is relevant.
     
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  2. ChennaiExpress

    ChennaiExpress IL Hall of Fame

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    What I mean is, it is easier to target a foreigner and get away with it simply because foreigner might not have the strength and energy to travel to and from India to bring perpetrators to justice.

    For example, a French lady was gang-raped in early 90s on her visit to India. Because she was unable to return to India to appear for hearing, the perpetrators were acquitted.

    That's what I meant.
     
  3. peartree

    peartree Platinum IL'ite

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    Your premise is that every person that visits India/live in India is raped?

    She is asking if it is safe for her daughter to go to India with her dad and you're talking about pursuing justice for sexual assault!!!
     
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  4. priyajagadeesh

    priyajagadeesh Senior IL'ite

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    I have a daughter and I do get these thoughts. No one can answer this for you.
    Its scary world out there but I wouldn't deny my child the joy of grand parents love. Your daughter is 10Yrs old have you taught her good touch-bad touch? how to react if something happens?
    If you do decide to send her: How is your relationship with MIL? Can she keep an eye on her always? Make sure someone you trust like FIL/MIL/DH with your daughter all the time.
     
    Last edited: Aug 3, 2018
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  5. peartree

    peartree Platinum IL'ite

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    I put in my zipcode and there's 3-4 offenders within a 2 mile radius of where I live. And my neighborhood is one of those desi addas in the Bay Area, expensive homes and great school district etc. All we can do is teach the child to be aware and careful. And be communicative.

    I think you should not let your fear of the unknown or a probability inhibit what could otherwise be an enriching and a beautiful experience for your child.
     
  6. ChennaiExpress

    ChennaiExpress IL Hall of Fame

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    Oh Lordy that's not my premise at all.....

    Visiting India would be an enriching experience ......

    People are so amped to learn Hindi on apps just so they can see Incredible India for themselves!
     
    Last edited: Aug 3, 2018
  7. Vedhavalli

    Vedhavalli Gold IL'ite

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    If her dad would watch her constantly you can send her. Or if mil/fil would watch her 24/7 no problem. I would say never leave her with cousins alone, or friends. Not even an hour.
    We may think our friends, neighbors and relatives are good. But no one knows inside out. I used to travel in train to my grandparents place alone for 1 night travel when I was 11 yrs . I don't think I have courage to tell you do the same.
    2 yes old, infants are not spared these days..
    Nri kids are innocent and don't know the place, people around them. You can send unless you have someone to watch her.
     
  8. peartree

    peartree Platinum IL'ite

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    This just makes me so sad, this statement. And what is worrying that this is coming from genuine fear!! While it has its advantages, this is the curse of the 24x7 News Media and sensationalism that is so typical these days.

    I probably sound like a broken record, do not restrict or inhibit your child from the experience of forming relationships and experiencing the true spirit of an India trip because of something you fear *MAY* happen, especially since she is not going to be out and about, roaming around by herself. At the same time, give her the confidence that she should come and talk to you/her dad about anything/anyone she finds uncomfortable. But these conversations have to be had so carefully, as to not instill in the child some distrust or fear!!

    Let me give you a very personal example. My niece, my SIL's daughter, a 5 yr old has been told by her parents that she should not let anyone except her parents touch her bum and she should let her parents know if anyone did. Now she came over for a sleepover at my house and I was giving the children a bath or putting aquaphor on them, or helping her change her underwear or something that I don't even remember. She went and told her mom that "maami (me) touched my bum". We all just had a good laugh about it and it was then expanded to a little more detail on when to report it to the parents!!
     
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  9. ChennaiExpress

    ChennaiExpress IL Hall of Fame

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    Enriching experiences is the greatest Weath... and it is important to know good touch and bad touch.



    Please be careful no matter where you are .....
     
    Last edited: Aug 3, 2018
  10. Sunshine04

    Sunshine04 Platinum IL'ite

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    How are your inlaws towards you and your kid. If they are living towards you guys, you have to think about their wishes too
     

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