Self Love - What Do You Do For Yourself?

Hmm....so then thats your calling...to relive all those beautiful memories once again

 

Thanks for responding. I think you understood my situation, more so because we are of same age group I guess. When I originally posted here, I was agitated and wanted to share with someone not known to me. Now I think I have calmed down, though still feel the pain when a look back. I am trying to be busy and do things useful for me first. The "Me First" movement- even as it is termed as being selfish - take care of my finances, my health, my career etc first.
DH is observing, getting irritated, rebelling and now trying to bait me with material things that won't cost him any effort financially or emotionally.
I just pray that I am strong on my decisions and hope that I will not put myself in such circumstances ever again. I will give myself some more time to stabilize and then think about pursuing my passions (though I don't remember having anything ! ).
Thank a lot. I really appreciate your time and effort to respond.

 

Ur welcome Madhu, nytym.......just one thing...don't brood over past or your situation. I have always liked this saying 'This, the moment, the age now is the youngest you can ever get' so make the best use of it. What's not in ur best interest discard n don't waste your time n energy in making it any better. I won't sugar coat. It won't get better. But I applaud ur decision on the 'Me First' moment and NO ur not being selfish at all. Often our culture, our traditions our background all groom and teach us that you have to serve your husband n family selflessly and regardless if the husband and family treat you poorly you still continue that service with almost dedication n devotion. But I have broken that myth of pre-conceived notions. I have no expectations, but my first priority will be 'ME' and only n only 'ME'. Yes I love my child, I will do everything required for his well-being but if I have to think logically as a single mom, if I don't care for myself will I be in a position to take care of my child?? The answer is a big 'NO' so only if I make myself a priority can I take care of the people dependent on me in my case my child. I have come far and I have broken every single tradition, notion and barrier that binds me. Today my relatives shudder to even speak to me. And I am glad to keep such people at bay. Neither do I need their empathy nor their sympathy. It doesn't serve my purpose. I am single and I know I have no one but GOD. So yes get your financial stability in place, and as for your career if you have to start on a lower pay so be it. Don't look at your other friends. They might be fighting bigger demons than you but its human nature to fake pride, gossip and ridicule other humans. Seriously they shouldn't even matter much to you. Take a step. Rest will follow. Again I won't paint a rosy picture. It will take time but you will see a change in your overall growth from being a moth to a butterfly Take that chance !

 

I dig that

my 8 year old is super smart.....he is chubby and his teachers sweetheart....I told him once when we had a small tiff, you make and take ur dabba and this one just smirked and put one banana. His teacher was very unhappy seeing just a banana in his dabba and brought him lunch from the canteen. I was served the bill of INR 90 very same day through his school diary with a P.S note : Please send him lunch regularly. He is just a child and needs nourishment for growth ! All I could do was look at my son who was laughing away to glory and I had nothing much to say

 

Gosh !!! Kids these days are super duper smart

 

Thanks for sharing your experience. Really inspiring. Yes, I know no one changes for any one. I actually don't want to change anything in life except myself. I know we both will not gain anything by staying apart at this age any way. By God's grace my parents, especially my mother made sure that I realise the importance of being financially independent by way of getting job or owning a house early in life. It's just that after 23 years of busy schedule in life when I am almost through my self-made family goals and ready to celebrate, I realised (recollected?) that my partner has no regard for these goals or me at all. This shook me and I had to pour in here. Well.. it was an arranged marriage. He probably needed a basic version of wife. I needed a smart version of husband. We both assumed we will get our versions by default. He is probably upset with the smart version while I am upset with the basic version (just for lols). Any way will continue to stay strong on my decisions while keeping calm on his reactions. Thanks again. Hopefully will come back soon with my ideas of self love.