1. How to Build Positivity in Married Life? : Click Here
    Dismiss Notice
  2. If someone taught you via skype, what would you want to learn? Tell us here!
    Dismiss Notice

Self Love - What Do You Do For Yourself?

Discussion in 'Married Life' started by sbonigala, May 21, 2019.

  1. sbonigala

    sbonigala Finest Post Winner

    Messages:
    718
    Likes Received:
    1,361
    Trophy Points:
    263
    Gender:
    Female
    Certainly Viswa Sir - men need it too!
    I really enjoyed reading your post.
    My man and I make sure we do things that do not involve each other and kids.
    He reads every night and spends time practising guitar sometimes or drawing and painting sometimes - whatever he does that's his time.
    I think spending time on our hobbies and interests makes us very interesting and keeps our mind fresh and open to learning more about any aspect of life.

    P.S : Cuddles and love to Orion
     
  2. senorita2019

    senorita2019 Gold IL'ite

    Messages:
    233
    Likes Received:
    421
    Trophy Points:
    123
    Gender:
    Female
    I listen to my favorite music driving to work

    I watch youtube comedy videos at night before sleeping

    Spend on books and read in kindle

    I go for swim and zumba which i love

    I chat on whatsapp grps and pull my friends legs

    Gossip with friends abt celebrity

    Cook my favorite food and eat while watching my favorite tv show
     
  3. ramya8085

    ramya8085 Bronze IL'ite

    Messages:
    24
    Likes Received:
    35
    Trophy Points:
    33
    Gender:
    Female
    I have been lucky to have a crazy cousin who has like my situation . married working with kids. she loves to try different physical activities . as i grow older, social media is less exciting, i love having 1 or 2 close friends or relatives, who i can hang out.

    last 6 months, she pulled me for hot yoga. recently we did kickboxing. 3 times a week for 1 hr after work.

    it is tiring but totally worth it.

    these are hard. but i am in love with this. somehow doing an activity with group of other people motivates and changes my whole perspective.
     
  4. SGBV

    SGBV IL Hall of Fame

    Messages:
    4,904
    Likes Received:
    9,488
    Trophy Points:
    408
    Gender:
    Female
    Great thread. Thanks for starting this @sbonigala

    If I have learnt anything in my life so far, it is none other than the self-love. No matter what, I make sure I take care of myself just like how I would take care of others in my home.

    As you mentioned in your OP, I too was one cranky woman with a depressed mind sometimes back when I was left to take care of my family on a full time basis. It happens with many women who are busy with everything else to make sure the home runs smooth but feels empty inside.

    Social media and writing blogs have been my best friend nowadays. That's where I interact with like-minded people, and maintain my friendship.
    After completing all the chores for the day, I rest with my mobile or laptop at 9.30pm in the terrace in silence.
    I write, read, and interact with my buddies as well as update myself on various worldly matters during that 1-2 hr "me time"

    My H goes to bed very early, and my kids too go to their room around that time and hear bedtime stories from their granny. But I usually sleeps after 11.pm. So, this is how I make myself happy and rejuvenated.

    On every weekend, I find at least 30mins to 1 hr to take care of body. That's when I do self facials, massage, or hair treatment at home. I have a mini saloon at home for myself and I utilize that a lot.
    Basically, I chose a particular time when my kids are off to classes, and H is busy with his garden. I would be all by myself at home during that time.
    I also prefer to take naps in the afternoons of weekends. I wait for the kids to leave (to classes during afternoons on weekends), so that I could take some quality nap.

    On a daily basis, I do exercise with a machine in the evening after office, for 30 mins. I play my favourite music that time, and it takes me to a different world. It refreshes both my mind and body.

    Beyond this, I fully depend on our times too. The fun time we spend together as family is very important too. A movie at least once a month, A family movie at home-theatre at least once in 2 weeks with everyone at home, watching cricket matches with family (world cup is fast approaching) and sitting with my mom for one of her soaps and gossip later.
    Going out for dinner a couple of times in a month immediate family, BBQ in the vineyard, and going on a tour with extended family at least once in 3 months to places etc..etc too should be considered self-love too. Because I like them and feel refreshed each time I do them
     
  5. madhuniha

    madhuniha New IL'ite

    Messages:
    17
    Likes Received:
    9
    Trophy Points:
    8
    Gender:
    Female
    Returning after years. Thanks for this post. This is probably what I am searching for.
    I am at my stage of life where I have given my best to my family and there is not much I can do now. In return all I got is pain. Of course, I don't want to complain because it was my personal choice to keep my career/ friends or anything related to me on the back burner and focus on my family. Today my daughter is busy in life with studies and future plans. She understands my problem but can't do much for me and I can totally understand her position. My husband is busy in his own world enjoying the position and success in society contributed my emotional and financial support as always and of course does not have any time for me whatsoever. While things have been like this and I was trying to find peace in my work, a recent derrogatory comment from my husband lead me to think that I actually wasted all my life after marriage which makes me sad, frustrated and depressed.

    Now how do I come out of this position?
    1) Please don't tell me to talk to husband. That is not going to happen. Tried and tested. How much ever talking you do his ideas about marriage won't change. He will only make fun of me and my ideas more so because he is on a high from the success right now.
    2) I don't have many friends. Friends that I have are from work and they appear to be happy with their lives. Any case, I don't want to expose myself before them and spoil my professional relationship.
    3) Focussing on career is on option but won't give me much happiness because most of the people in my age group are in higher positions and I have to compete with my juniors of atleast 10 years less seniority. Also, it is a long drawn process and will not redeem me of this situation immediately.
    4) At this position of my agitated mind I am not even drawn to finer things like art or yoga etc.

    How do I come out of this feeling of worthlessness? How to be happy with myself?
     
  6. hermitcrab

    hermitcrab Gold IL'ite

    Messages:
    514
    Likes Received:
    676
    Trophy Points:
    188
    Gender:
    Female
    Do you copy paste the above as new thread in married life?
     
  7. Sinant

    Sinant Silver IL'ite

    Messages:
    266
    Likes Received:
    185
    Trophy Points:
    93
    Gender:
    Female
    @sbonigala

    Beautiful thread !! :)
    It’s indeed required to spend time with oneself and love oneself !!
    I do the below for myself:
    1. Once in a month or so indulge in a home pedicure and apply nail paint to both hands and toes. This will give me good 1-1.5 hrs me time :)
    2. Once in 2-3 weeks cook my favourite food and relish it watching my choice of tv program
    3. Catchup with my bestie girlfriend on call / msgs almost everyday and once in a while in person. Having someone to laugh at / agree with my silliest jokes and ideas is a blessing according to me :)
    4. I try to read for atleast 15 mins after dinner everyday.

    Eager to see Wat everyone does for themselves, watching this thread keenly :)
     
  8. Thyagarajan

    Thyagarajan Finest Post Winner

    Messages:
    3,244
    Likes Received:
    3,567
    Trophy Points:
    308
    Gender:
    Male
    A spring time indeed.
    Regards.
     
    Viswamitra likes this.
  9. Thyagarajan

    Thyagarajan Finest Post Winner

    Messages:
    3,244
    Likes Received:
    3,567
    Trophy Points:
    308
    Gender:
    Male
    :hello:Every learning per se meditation. Music vocal instrument listening watching all meditative and akin to spiritualness. It has its own rewards when brought in one’s daily regimen.
    Thanks and Regards.
    God’s power vibrates in meditation.
     
    Anusha2917 likes this.
  10. Thyagarajan

    Thyagarajan Finest Post Winner

    Messages:
    3,244
    Likes Received:
    3,567
    Trophy Points:
    308
    Gender:
    Male
    :hello:I empathise with your status.
    Inputs here especially #14 would probably answer your issues atleast partially.
    I can suggest to pick up any hobby or hobbies of your choice and accommodate in your daily grind at some convenient poin or points. It need not be in one go.
    God bless.
     
    madhuniha likes this.

Share This Page