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Secret Bank Account

Discussion in 'Married Life' started by cheenu123, Apr 12, 2019.

  1. Anusha2917

    Anusha2917 Finest Post Winner

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    Good she told someone.
    I remember one incident narrated by my collegue. So this colleague got engaged and was about to get married. Her mommy passed away due to cardiac arrest just a couple of months before her wedding.
    This colleague visited their family jeweller to buy something. Then he asked your mom ordered a big necklace ,paid for it and never came to pick it up. That's when they realised that her mom from her secret amount (maybe stored in asafotida box) has ordered the necklace. For whatever reasons she didn't inform even hubby and kids.
    Jeweller was a gentleman . He gave them the necklace. Sometimes just in case something happens we never know.
    It's okay to have a secret account. But sharing the secret with someone is required.
     
    Thyagarajan likes this.
  2. Laks09

    Laks09 Staff Member Finest Post Winner

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    + 1. And as a part of my service fees for all the financial stuff I do around here, I charge a monthly payment that comes straight from my DH's paycheck into a bank account that isn't secret. I will keep it there, not make savvy investment decisions with it, never use it, but it will stay there. It's like my grandma's treasure box under a broken tile in the pooja room that always had emergency funds!
     
  3. SinghManisha

    SinghManisha Platinum IL'ite

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    Happily ever after only happens in movies. In reality even a seemingly happy marriage can change at any point of time ( divorce, death of spouse etc) . So nothing wrong if your friend wants to save some money for herself without anyone knowing ( except for her close friend :) )
     
  4. ashneys

    ashneys Platinum IL'ite

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    Mom said that my great grandma used to hide money in the cupboard in between clothes. It’s a ‘women’s stash’. She takes it out for emergencies or to help someone. I guess it was olden days emergency saving. There was no intention to hide, save n runaway or anything nor does it equals to a bad relationship. They were an ideal couple.

    I have the habit of keeping cash in random places. Hubby knows I keep but dono how much or where (even I myself dono at times, haha). Its off limits for him. In our case, if I count n tell him the accumulated amount, somehow it gets spent, for good things yes, but it still gets spent. N I on the other hand like the feeling of having some emergency fund in hand n not be empty handed. N that money has come in handy during our emergency times. We have a healthy relationship, I didn’t start this habit in thoughts of running away from him one day. It’s just that I was taught the importance of ‘women’s stash’ thing from the older generation. I will pass that on if n when I have a daughter as well.

    A woman saving is very important, u may not have to share the amount but I feel it’s important the spouse at least has an idea about it, what will happen to all that life saving if that person dies n no one knows about it.

    N I have also told my dh that if I die, just check everything for my stash before discarding my stuff, lol.
     
  5. Amulet

    Amulet Platinum IL'ite

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    I have heard of informal credit unions of ladies who would have the ability to scrimp and save a little bit of money each month, say 5 or 10 rupees. 10 such ladies can get together once a month with a pile of 100 rupees. A large sum of money seven or six decades ago. If a one of 10 ladies needed a big sum of money, for example ₹80, she could bid on the interest rate she'd be willing to pay for it. Bid would start at ₹1, and if there are no other bidders, the lady would take ₹99, and give that ₹1 to divide among the rest of the ladies as an interest on the loan. Say, if there is another lady who also wants the money. In such cases, the bidding will move higher than ₹1, to the point of tolerance for each one of them. Each month the pile of money would be bid on by those who hadn't bid on that in earlier months, until everyone has had their turn. 10 ladies over 10 months would each get their hands on the total savings; and on competitive months, there'd be a small dividend for each. No need to hide the money in the house, and risk losing it in various possible ways.

    This kind of informal credit unions existed in many multi-family dwellings in big cities, like Madras, Hyderabad, Bangalore.
    After the business is done and dusted, the ladies would catch up on the various news of the month, gossips about people who aren't present (but sent their money via their child) and so on.
     
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  6. Amulet

    Amulet Platinum IL'ite

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    Recently one IL'ite, who lives in USA, posted* about her Mom, who had come to help the daughter after baby was born. The america-living daughter heard the story of how her father does not give sufficient money for household expenses -- like buying vegetables, fruits etc..-- to the mother. Some of us who responded to the post had suggested a secret bank account in India for the mother, into which the daughter in USA can directly transfer money (without the knowledge of father), so that the mom can use her ATM card to access the money. [* I couldn't track down that post/thread]

    Some stash of money that a woman has access to, without having to ask permission for it, can give such a huge feeling of self-worth. Even seemingly very wealthy women suffer when they do not have this money stash.
     
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  7. Ruby2019

    Ruby2019 New IL'ite

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    This is no uncommon and has been done over many years. Only the location of the money stored has changed.:laughing:

    I see some couples who don’t do this at all and I’m surprised. But they truly trust their partners and do it willingly. They see everything as combined.

    To each his own. Whatever makes you feel secured in a family, go ahead and do it.
     
    BhumiBabe and Thyagarajan like this.
  8. Sandyr46

    Sandyr46 Gold IL'ite

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    She is absolutely right in doing it. Should commend her for that infact. When tables turn in relationships the hardest thing that hits u is 'Finance' coz u can a zillion people pouring out advices and empathizing with ur situation but when it comes to 'financial assistance' u'l soon see the crowd dwindle. If ur a woman and whether ur in a good marriage, lovely family, wonderful children still b independent and have that cash safely stashed in ur account.
     
  9. Ajith

    Ajith Silver IL'ite

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    It is not normal to have secret accounts. Even in the secret accounts, there will be more men who will have secret accounts than women. In most cases, a financially vigilant husband/wife can detect if his/her spouse is keeping a secret account.
     
  10. rachaputi

    rachaputi Platinum IL'ite

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    Yh.. I used to do.. But where it goessss is :(

    LIC is pending since 6 months
    CC to be paid
    We didn't paid full amount yet to Mr.X :yikes: :sconf:

    Every secret account intension is like emergency fund or for expensive gifts or own needs. I don't find anything wrong in it unless you have out of box plans.
     

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