1. How to Build Positivity in Married Life? : Click Here
    Dismiss Notice
  2. If someone taught you via skype, what would you want to learn? Tell us here!
    Dismiss Notice

Secret Bank Account

Discussion in 'Married Life' started by cheenu123, Apr 12, 2019.

  1. cheenu123

    cheenu123 Gold IL'ite

    Messages:
    519
    Likes Received:
    619
    Trophy Points:
    188
    Gender:
    Female
    Yesterday, a colleague of mine, who is married and shares a very strong bond with her DH told me that she has a separate bank account which is a secret from her DH. She told me that she puts her savings into that account every now and then. I was a bit confused as she is the one who shares a beautiful equation with her DH and both of them share expenses for the household. What is then a need to have a secret account?
    She says it is for her security.
    Is this normal?
     
    Loading...

  2. prreeya

    prreeya Silver IL'ite

    Messages:
    116
    Likes Received:
    114
    Trophy Points:
    93
    Gender:
    Female
    Hi
    It’s not normal when you believe in love and care a lot.
    I did not do it for more than ten years and believed all we have is ours but when things went wrong and we get legally separated. Husband gave one apartment and so called amount which was my yearly package that too when I fought for it.
    Also consider the fact most of the time girls pay for groceries..kids expenses and many small big gifting to family.
    So it is always better to have some savings only for you.
     
  3. GeetaKashyap

    GeetaKashyap IL Hall of Fame

    Messages:
    3,922
    Likes Received:
    9,162
    Trophy Points:
    460
    Gender:
    Female
    @cheenu123,

    Secret savings is unusual but I guess it is okay considering every persons personal makeup, past experiences and ingrained insecurities. As long as it remains a secret and doesn't offend her hubby, it is safe.
     
    Thyagarajan and cheenu123 like this.
  4. cheenu123

    cheenu123 Gold IL'ite

    Messages:
    519
    Likes Received:
    619
    Trophy Points:
    188
    Gender:
    Female
    I agree with you @GeetaKashyap, as long as it doesn't hurt anyone's emotions, it is ok to have it.
     
    Thyagarajan likes this.
  5. iamsrihere

    iamsrihere Platinum IL'ite

    Messages:
    1,836
    Likes Received:
    1,939
    Trophy Points:
    283
    Gender:
    Female
    If the understanding between the couple is good, why have a secret account? Instead have an open account for the self, and start saving in that with the knowledge of the spouse. One should always be able to provide justification for the amount saved(if things go wrong in future)..Like i mean we need to be reasonable in saving for the self also..

    And whats wrong in saving for the self? Why should this be hidden?
     
    Thyagarajan and kkrish like this.
  6. Amulet

    Amulet Platinum IL'ite

    Messages:
    2,309
    Likes Received:
    3,854
    Trophy Points:
    283
    Gender:
    Female
    Good god. Now that you know the secret, she has to kill you :facepalm::frown:.
    Avoid her at all cost. Avoid anyone else she is or has been talking to.
    Watch your back in the workplace.

    Please tell your friend/colleague that she should never ever talk about that account to anyone else. It is a good advice for her security.

    This kind of information is called "Kompromat" -- a compromising information that someone can use to stress your colleague, and take advantage of her.

    That said, it is OK for a girl to have a secret bank account. In the old days, money would be stored in some (proverbial) Asafoetida Can in the kitchen. And it would be a timepass to count it once in a while to make sure it is all there. Now-a-days girls go out, have a job, have their own earnings, their own PAN/Aadhar, and the savvy to open an account. Good for her. The only bad thing is to tell YOU about it, and you go and blab that thing to the whole world. Now even I know. I am not a good keeper of a secret. Secret bank accounts are no good for someone who cannot keep a secret. In our family, all the money goes into our joint account, and I am responsible for operational expenses, liquidity, investments, and tax-filings. I charge a premium for this service. :smirkcat:

    Sometimes boys and girls save money to buy a big gift for a spouse, or a secret (wo/)man. It shouldn't be the business of a 3rd party. KYC does not mean know-your-colleague, it is an abbreviation that banks use with their account holders.

    Be safe. Avoid other people's secrets.
     
    Last edited: Apr 12, 2019
  7. Urmila

    Urmila Silver IL'ite

    Messages:
    57
    Likes Received:
    163
    Trophy Points:
    83
    Gender:
    Female
    Hilarious thoughts and reply!:tearsofjoy:

    OP,
    Whatever she does is fine. We never know the dynamics of a couple and one shouldn’t take at face value about the couple relationship. Lots of them will never divulge their personal life to others and you just have to be happy that your friend had trusted you regarding this.
     
    Last edited: Apr 12, 2019
    Thyagarajan, cheenu123 and Amulet like this.
  8. cheenu123

    cheenu123 Gold IL'ite

    Messages:
    519
    Likes Received:
    619
    Trophy Points:
    188
    Gender:
    Female
    I'm actually a very close friend of her so it is OK, she can trust me with her secrets :)
     
  9. Amulet

    Amulet Platinum IL'ite

    Messages:
    2,309
    Likes Received:
    3,854
    Trophy Points:
    283
    Gender:
    Female
    Now I get the point. It is a cultural thing.
    In some cultures it is OK to tell/confide about one's age/salary/bank a/c details to a girlfriend, close or otherwise. In such cultures, the exact manner of privates-depilation would be a great secret that nobody would get to hear. In other cultures, the total reverse would be true among close friends.

    Thanks for the clarification.
     
    Thyagarajan and Urmila like this.
  10. DDream

    DDream Finest Post Winner

    Messages:
    1,117
    Likes Received:
    2,277
    Trophy Points:
    285
    Gender:
    Female
    Only she knows her life better. I believe there is a good reason to do that even though their marriage appears good from outside. May be her husband like to have her full salary or want a joint account or need full details of where the money is going. Many women do this protect some money for her in case of emergency. There many working women who dont have any financial independence, every thing is decided by dh or his family. Its changing, but still. I cannot blame her. As long as it remains secret it wont hurt her dh and she trusts you (hope she dont read this post;) ). Its not a crime to save some money of her, which she earned herself.

    Ideally its good to have a joint account (checking and saving). But in my case I like my freedom. So I have my own checking and savings account. Also we share joint accounts where we add our expense for the month or to joint savings. Both of us know what we earn per year too.
     
    Last edited: Apr 12, 2019
    Thyagarajan, hermitcrab and shravs3 like this.

Share This Page