Second Pregnancy

Discussion in 'Pregnancy & Labor' started by chitra_lekha, Jan 3, 2012.

  1. chitra_lekha

    chitra_lekha Bronze IL'ite

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    Hi Ladies,
    I am in need of your help here. I gave birth one and half years ago. my present age is 35 yrs. In my first pregnancy, i had GD, Pregnancy induced hypertension (because of which i almost lost my lil one), Mild Pre-eclampsia, short cervix length (had a cerclage done for this problem). Had to have a C-section because of fetal distress.
    by god's grace i gave birth to a normal baby boy. Now my problem is my cousins and my husband want me to have another baby. I am in a dilemma now. I don't have parents they both passed away when i was in my teens. My aunt brought me up. My mil doesn't help me with my firstborn. My aunt took care of me in pregnancy as i was in complete bedrest through out my pregnancy. She is suffering from arthritis for the past two years and I don't think she will be in a position to take care of me if i opt for another baby. Her husband is bedridden. so obviously i can't expect her to take care of me.
    with absolutly no help from others should i go for another pregnancy. i will most certainly will be in complete bedrest because of compulsory cerclage for the next pregnancy. my dh will help but he has to work so i don't know how far help he can give me.
    with all the above problems will i be able to give birth to another normal baby?? as for now i am not pregnant. if i become pregnant soon also by the time i give birth i will be 36yrs old. i know that if one becomes pregnant after 35 the chances of the baby being born a down is more.
    i am worried that if i don't have another baby my son will be alone after we die. i am an only child for my parents. dh has a sister but she is not the helping kind. she wants all the help from us. she has a daughter.
    I am tensed out of my mind. my dh has given me two weeks time to decide whether to have another baby or not.
    pls advise me on what to decide. after all the problems in my first pregnancy what would you suggest. i need advise from all of you friends. Please help me decide.
    sorry for the detailed and long post. but i needed to vent. Thank you all.
    PS: Now i am a diabetic.
    Chitralekha
     
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  2. vanisriv

    vanisriv Silver IL'ite

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    chitra_lekha,

    Your first pregnancy sounds extremely challenging. Very happy that you got thro' it and delivered a healthy boy. Also, kudos to you before thinking thro' before your second pregnancy. Not many will pause to consider all the factors.

    Unlike your first pregnancy, this time you will also need to take care of a toddler. Are there any friends nearby who will be able to help? Would you be able to afford external help? My twin delivery was very challenging and I had help during day/night for first three months to help with feeding, bathing and taking care of my first son.

    If I were you, I would also consult a doctor as well about conceiving after age 35 .

    Good luck
     
  3. chitra_lekha

    chitra_lekha Bronze IL'ite

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    Hi Vani,
    No one to help me if i become pregg again. I can easily afford to hire help but hiring reliable help is very difficult. for my first delivery i paid 8k to take care of my son from morning 10 am to evening 5 pm( that too for the first five months) I also had problems with bfing the first one so i can guarantee that if i opt for a second child i have to formula feed. it was very difficult to find that lady also.
    Chitralekha
     
  4. lochu

    lochu Gold IL'ite

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    Hi chithra

    the best thing is to take yoru DH and got to OB and ask her opinion abt the pros and cons .Just because yoru first pregancy was difficult doesnot mean it will be the same for the second one.My friend who had similar problem like you for the first one had a complete healthy pregancy on the second one .hire a help evenw when you are in TTC so that you can get used to her and she will be helpful during pregancy and child birth.
     
  5. just20

    just20 Silver IL'ite

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    Chitralekha

    Like vani said - I would suggest you to first seek doctor's advise before thinking about the help. Once the doctor gives the positive signal then you can hire live in /live out nanny once you conceive or when needed. Live-in nanny's are good, I have one for myself. She helps me a lot in everything.

    Thanks
    Shanti
     
  6. vanisriv

    vanisriv Silver IL'ite

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    Chitra,

    Totally agree. It is very hard to find a reliable person. Best thing would be to get someone via word of mouth.

    Check with doctor first on physical aspect. Hiring help should work at least for the most part.

    -Vani
     
  7. pamchoos

    pamchoos New IL'ite

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    Hi planning second one, my BMI is 32 in slight obese category... is it safe to try for a second one? any successful pregnancies and deliveries with higher bmi?
     

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