Second kid decision, still doubtful

Hi,

this is not to discourage you but I had similar situations like you , like career, no help , in addition to that tough 1st pregnancy and delivary, I had health related problems with which I dont want to go to second pregnency, I and my husband decided for that, my son is 5 year old now and sometimes I too feel bad that I could not give sibling to him but will convince myself that health mom is important to kid than a sibling. so I sticked to my decision. ofcourse financially also I felt it is less burden on us in long run if I dont have second one.

Everyones situtations are different, we have to go according to our situations, family, raising capacity , financial capacity etc.

there is a good discussion went in parent forum which might help you. senior members like Jaya mam advised very nicely to me in that thread.

http://www.indusladies.com/forums/parenting-by-working-moms/62950-what-good-child-only-one.html

 

Mmm, will those who force you to have the other kid be there when you need them. Really. What if your husband is too involved in his work and you have your own work commitments and feel that you are not doing a good job of raising two kids. What if one of the children were to come and tell you, "why did you have me if you cannot raise me like you raised my brother/sister?" I am guilty of thinking those thoughts when in our family of three siblings things/space/money/attention became a bit scarce.
Frankly, it should be the decision of the family involved i.e. you, your husband and your child. I have seen very well adjusted single children.
In all likelihood dear son will also be a single child even though I do want another. But my husband, who is very hands on, feels he needs another 4/5 years with things going well in work, for him to consider taking a break to be with me when we have another child - either biologically or through adoption.
I would hate to go ahead with having a second child when I feel we as a family are not ready for it. It is your call and that's the only way it should be.

 

Hi,

There is no point in having kids just for the heck of it and with no help. In case, you are feeling from deep within that you need a kid and will be able to manage without any help then you can go ahead without any hesitation.

In case you are in two minds, then its best to drop the idea than regret later. The decision of kids should be mutual unless you are really gungho for it. Finally whatever said it done it will be blamed on the mother. Think twice before you take a call.

Regards,
Lynette

 

if u dont get any help from hubby, dont bother having second kid. I like my DD but, sometimes i feel maybe i should have stopped with my son. It's hard to manage 2 kids without help, we will eventually loose patience.