As I took that sweet orb from my colleague's desk and tasted it, my mind played one of the earlier memories back. I was about 7 or so then when my mom gave me that sweet just the day before Diwali . It initially tested the strength of my teeth a bit, but as it got soaked in the saliva, it started to disintegrate. Or melt, if you ask me. I could sense at least two different kinds of flour, jaggery, powdered cardamom and something else that was so delicately aromatic. It was quite an experience and I asked for more then. "How is it?", she asked though she knew the answer. "What is this?", I asked. Lets say that it is the "indecipherable orb", she said and smiled. I pestered her that day and next and stopped after finally getting a reply - "You won't understand it now". Well! I am sure all of us have had a number of occasions where we didn't fully understand, [some we never do no matter how much we grow up]. As we grow up, the mystery of some of these get gradually unraveled. But then we tend to focus on other "unknowns" then. Just wanted to point out this - The kind of joy that we get even as we get to understand the first little part of it - its priceless and stays somewhere in memory. I did enroll for a sanskrit class long back and went only for one session. It was my earliest recollection of hearing Lalitha Sahasranamam and some words sounded familiar, yet out of reach for a fuller meaning. It appeared as though they just stood behind a semi transparent screen and all I had to do was to just push that screen aside. After that episode, I was more attentive to the words in any sloka that I heard to see if I had that same feeling. While I could get the meaning of a few, I did not try seriously for many and just took them as such and moved on, but started showing off as though I knew most of it. I also had that konwledge of not going too far in the presence of really well learned people who could find me out easily. In my opinion, this very act of taking things for granted and not questioning / searching to get deeper meaning is what limits us, to a large extent, building many thick screens. As kids we questioned a lot, were as open as the grasslands to the sun and were adamant at times. As we grew up, we understood a bit of our limitations, and while pursuing our goals, we narrowed ourselves to win and reached a state where we cannot consider ourselves as experts even in the path we had chosen. With our blinkers most of us went far, but not deep in anything that we did. And then we tend to see our own reflection as we age and start bragging about ourselves, being fully blind. Of course life has its own path driven by that unknown destiny and humbles us every now and then. What do we do then? We just lament about our bad time or bad luck and about how the people whom we expected us to be bailed out turned the other way or humiliated us even more. This builds up after we come out of our turmoil as we brag about how, without anybody's help we came back. Taking credits for our own success is fine, but we ought not know the limits. Each of these add up to that screen and in the end we are irrelevant even to ourselves. But if we start questioning ourselves about our very own acts and thoughts, perhaps we would progress a bit in making that screen a bit thinner. It may take a lot of guts, honesty and years to say that "I know for sure that I don't know anything!". At some point of time we realize that unlearning is essential for any further progress. Some of us would have tried practising meditation and most of us among that set would have felt that euphoria in the beginning, where we realize that we can actively listen to our mind and control our thoughts to some extent. Soon, we might have resorted to our other "important" activities and only remember the meditation episode vaguely after years. Well, the intent of this post is not just to show my shortcoming just. Starting right from the well intended and researched theories, matters very much needed for everyone, building good relationships and nurturing good things within self and in others in a subtle way, knowing and accommodating others as they are, without judging them by my own "screened" vision and what not? Whatever action of mine that I may regret years later, will surely find its place in this list. Problem is, when will this list end? Perhaps God lies beyond all such screens that we meticulously keep building as long as we can. With Him, are staying our dear ones whose presence we feel, yet cannot see! One day we may get to understand more if only we humble ourselves. The densest screen of all however, is our own assumption that comes from our limited knowledge that we know it all!