Restaurant And Waiter Etiquette

Discussion in 'General Discussions' started by Rihana, Oct 24, 2017.

  1. Rihana

    Rihana Moderator Staff Member IL Hall of Fame

    Messages:
    12,481
    Likes Received:
    30,224
    Trophy Points:
    540
    Gender:
    Female
    General timepass question about waiter and diner etiquette at a medium level upscale restaurant -- how much should the diner help the waiter/waitress in doing his/her job.

    i) When we are done eating, many of us gather the plates and dishes, and pile them up, so it is easier for the waiter to clear the table. When reading up on this topic, I came to know that this actually hinders rather than helps the waiter. They have a certain order and method of stacking, arranging the plates etc so they can carry away the maximum number, maximum load and efficiently. They might thank us for "helping" but in fact it makes their job tougher. Better to leave the table as is. Even as they are walking to it, they are looking from afar at what all is to be cleared away, and like a Game of Tetris, plotting their moves and order of moves. Handing over a hard to reach plate is OK as waiter reaches for it, is OK, but more help actually slows down the waiter.

    The above was an interesting thing I learnt. Question is in the below:
    ii) Medium level upscale restaurant. Basic entree around $15-25. Cost of meal for 2 with basic $10-15 drinks each, appetizer, coming to $80-90. Add tip: $90-110. Table is small'ish. Waiter brings the food to the table. There is less space for the new stuff that needs to be put on the table. Some creativity or rearrangement is needed. Who should do that? Usually, when the waiter is holding the big plate with two hands and looking for space on the table, I instinctively make space by moving some things around. One time, I didn't. Was on an important texting conversation, and better-half does not usually do this make space help. The waitress stood there and waited... looking at us and expecting us to make space on the table. We, so to say, stood (sat) our ground. Her smile's brightness went down a notch, she put the big plate on a nearby table, and made the space herself on our table. The 'enjoy your meal' was not as enthusiastic as usual.

    Made me think. If I am dining at a place and paying $100 for a meal for two, do I have to make space on the table for the waiter to place the food plates, or is it the waiter's job?

    My take is that if I do it, nice. If not, it should not be made an issue. I am a reasonable customer. Am not on phone when giving the order, do not ask for accommodations in the food, make up my mind soon and do not gaze forever at the menu asking hundred questions. Polite and smiling and thank you when they fill up my glass or fetch me a straw.
     
    sindmani and jskls like this.
    Loading...

  2. Nonya

    Nonya Platinum IL'ite

    Messages:
    1,465
    Likes Received:
    2,179
    Trophy Points:
    283
    Gender:
    Female
    Do you like wait-staff engaging you in small talk ? Like... gee...that is a nice necklace/brooch or worse yet, where are you folks from.... or volunteering information on self.
     
  3. Nonya

    Nonya Platinum IL'ite

    Messages:
    1,465
    Likes Received:
    2,179
    Trophy Points:
    283
    Gender:
    Female
    Intimate table (knees touch one another's below the table) with large dishes would be a problem for the untrained wait-staff, and troubles would be exacerbated with mismanaged sequence/timing of serving dishes.

    I have had experience with large table and teensy weensy dishes in forin. The waitstaff tell you which one to eat first, and then they can come and take away some of the dishes, to clear out part of the table for the diners. Picture shows breakfast for one.

    upload_2017-10-25_10-33-39.png
     
    Last edited: Oct 25, 2017
  4. Rihana

    Rihana Moderator Staff Member IL Hall of Fame

    Messages:
    12,481
    Likes Received:
    30,224
    Trophy Points:
    540
    Gender:
    Female
    Thanks for the responses, Nonya. You can be kind when you put your mind to it.
    That many tiny dishes and bowls for one person, and that too breakfast? Do they eat at home also like that?
     
  5. Nonya

    Nonya Platinum IL'ite

    Messages:
    1,465
    Likes Received:
    2,179
    Trophy Points:
    283
    Gender:
    Female
    ssshhh....:nomouth: folks might think I beat you up in PM's.
    All put together, (aside from the glutinous rice in the bowl on the left) it is not much to eat. At home, none of the orientals, eat like that. Who is going to wash those things without dropping and breaking them?
    Those dishes reminded me of playing "house" as kids, with make-belief food. But then the dishes were carved wood, painted in different colours.
     
    Rihana likes this.
  6. Nonya

    Nonya Platinum IL'ite

    Messages:
    1,465
    Likes Received:
    2,179
    Trophy Points:
    283
    Gender:
    Female
    Not that I am trying to be extra kind (@Rihana), but the tendency that one has to get the empties ready (for mum) to be cleared off the table is kind'a hard to resist.

    At home, for parents with grown children, one child might skim off the remaining sauce, chewed up drumsticks, stray rice, etc... into one single plate (which goes to the top) and pile all the plates together, and take them to the kitchen sink. Sometimes, if there is interesting conversation, the piled up dirty dishes stays at the center of the table. And that habit tries to come out at a restaurant. Many restaurant wait-staff do not like this at all; sometimes the patrons do a shoddy job of swiping the plates off, and the slithery sauce leftover can make a plate slide off the pile as the waiter is trying to lift it all together. S/he cannot lift/take one plate at a time, because the bottoms may drip sauce on the table cloth. A wait-staff drip on the table cloth is bad service, whereas a customer drip completely OK.

    If Rihana is paying $100 to eat out, she ought to be able to text in peace.
     
    Rihana likes this.
  7. Rihana

    Rihana Moderator Staff Member IL Hall of Fame

    Messages:
    12,481
    Likes Received:
    30,224
    Trophy Points:
    540
    Gender:
    Female
    I had a feeling or premonition that the kindness would wane.

    The mention of the restaurant cost was to highlight that it was not a place one goes for the sole purpose of eating the next required meal. It was a 'dining' event.

    About the texting, I am not one of those inconsiderate customers who keep the waitress or checkout person waiting while they attend to their phone. When the order is being placed, I pay full attention to that task, and finish the ordering pretty efficiently. The order had already been placed, appetizer, drinks, two entrees. The texting was when the food arrived. Waitress didn't have to guess who ordered what. The other person at the table was available to tell where to place what. And anyway, good waitresses remember who ordered what.

    Bringing up the $100 and the texting is not conducive to a productive discussion on the topic, which I admitted at the start, is timepass and alters neither my dining-out life nor that of the waitress.
     
  8. Rihana

    Rihana Moderator Staff Member IL Hall of Fame

    Messages:
    12,481
    Likes Received:
    30,224
    Trophy Points:
    540
    Gender:
    Female
    Taken by you? Odd angle. Is as if you were perched on the ceiling fan or the booth's low light shade.
     
    Naari likes this.
  9. sokanasanah

    sokanasanah IL Hall of Fame

    Messages:
    3,959
    Likes Received:
    6,857
    Trophy Points:
    408
    Gender:
    Male
    Hey, who're you calling a witch? :roflmao:
     
  10. Rihana

    Rihana Moderator Staff Member IL Hall of Fame

    Messages:
    12,481
    Likes Received:
    30,224
    Trophy Points:
    540
    Gender:
    Female
    On ceiling fan? Don't they use brooms?

    I am so out-of-date. Learnt from a little girl I was talking to that a witch costume for Halloween does not mean bad witch. There is a good witch too. I am sticking to simply handing out candy and no wise questions this Halloween Day. Anyway, I can't recognize a single costume they wear now-a-days.
     
    kaniths and sokanasanah like this.

Share This Page