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Reservation Rumble

Discussion in 'Snippets of Life (Non-Fiction)' started by Balajee, Jul 2, 2016.

  1. Balajee

    Balajee IL Hall of Fame

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    We live in a world of reservations There are reservations for everything from movie tickets to college seats and government jobs, Now even transgenders are considered OBCs though other three sections of LGBT community get locked up or blackmailed if caught in the act that harms no one .

    As usual I am going off on a tangent as this piece is not about LGBT but about reservations. I want reseryations to be extended further. My argument is if economically weaker sections can get such perks, why not mentally weaker sections? How about reservation for people whose IQ painfully crawls towards double digit but never reaches there? Spare some thought for these people too, guys

    You may find my idea ridiculous. In this age of Bihar toppers when you pass school exam with flying colours while firmly believing political science is about cooking why would you need reservation for people of Pappu class ? You see we are living in dangerous times. Media jokers desperately seeking TRP ratings are on the prowl. They keep sniffing around for toppers who can’t add even two single digit numbers so that they can turn such people into national figures blighting their future. So to keep them shielded from such unwelcome incursions we have to reserve a nice chunk of school and college seats and government jobs for low IQ wonders.


    Of course it is heartening to see that some such people already have plum jobs. According to Times of India a professor of English i Uttar Pradesh couldn’t spell EVALUATION.Obviously the good professor professed to know English but didn’t . Another worthy professor of economics in the same state had lo clue what audit meant and thought IMF stood for International Money Found.

    But one swallow doth not a summer make . Just because a couple of morons get teaching jobs it does not mean that an entire class of people called morons have got justice. Hence we urgently need a quota for these people

    Now how to ensure that the grain is separated from chaff and thrown away ? After all grain could pretend to be chaff to get quota benefits reserved for the chaff So the beneficiaries should be selected only after rigorous IQ tests that prove that they are imbeciles.. Thinking on these lines I closed my eyes and in my mind found myself facing one low IQ selection board.

    The head of the three interviewers looked suspiciously at me He seemed to have doubts about my status as a moron He soon started hurling questions at me

    “What does RBI stand for?”.he asked me.

    “It is the acronym for Rabri Burfi Imarti” I said.

    “Very good. If you keep on going like this you may even end up as RBI governor or even as finance minister. “

    “Thak you” I said.

    “And here’s the next question. How big is India?”

    “It is bigger than Europe and the entire north America put together.”

    “On what authority do you base your answer?”

    “That of Pappu Rahul Gandhi who made such a statement recently”

    One of the interviewers looked suspiciously at me. “Are you trying to be one up on Pappu/ He only said that India is bigger than Europe and the US put together. It could affect your career adversely if Pappu becomes PM tomorrow and comes to know of what you said t and develops an inferiority complex”

    “Aw come on . You don’t expect a low IQ guy to remember exactly what Pappu said, do you?” I said.

    “Alright. Here’s the final question.What does IMF stand for?”

    “Mmmmmm...... Lemme gess, Inebriated Monkey Found, maybe?”

    All the three interviewers jumped up . “Fraud! Cheat! Impowster!” they yelled in unison.


    “Come again?” I said. “Why do you think I am a fraud?”

    “RElementary my dear cheat. My IQ is not so low that I would believe that a moron could know the word I-N-E-B-R-I-A-T-E-D Drunk, yes, sozzled, may be but not inebriated. You have exposed yourself by being too clever and failed in your attempt to benefit from the imbecile quota. I am going to call the cops”

    “Cops!” I shouted

    “Where you imagining being chased by cops or something? Of late you do nothing but daydream Looks like your IQ has touched the nadir" the wife said shaking me awake.
     
    Last edited: Jul 2, 2016
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  2. GoogleGlass

    GoogleGlass IL Hall of Fame

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    ha ha ha nice one balajee.

    most of the mentally weak, the ones with low IQ or no IQ at all, are successful politicians in our country. :)

    what more benefits do they require??? :)
     
  3. Balajee

    Balajee IL Hall of Fame

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    Right GG.m In their hoour we should change the name of the country to Pappu Desh.
     
    GoogleGlass likes this.
  4. Kamalji

    Kamalji IL Hall of Fame

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    Dear Balaji
    More than you I qualify to be an idiot. I can't even spell diarrhea correctly.
    Superb. Haha
    Regards Kamal
     
  5. ojaantrik

    ojaantrik IL Hall of Fame

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    Hey Balajee, you made my day! One of the best threads I have read in a long time.

    We definitely need an MRQ Law. To ensure proper reservation for deserving persons. Though, I have to point out that even in the absence of the MRQ Law, the M's have secured positions of importance, positions which are far more important than Professor of English or Economics. If you look at the documents registered in our Courts of Law for example, the Stamp Paper stuff, you will find that they are usually written in a language that does not build your confidence concerning the rights they confer on you. Yet they bear signatures that inspire fear in your heart.

    An MRQ card is important. Particularly for election winning politicians. It is imperative that they carry an MRQ card to be allowed to enter the august institutions they are known to deliver their speeches from. I mean, no politician should be allowed to speak unless he displays his MRQ card first. Every speech should start with: Bhaiyon aur Baheno -- I am addressing you in my proven capacity as an M. And remember that no one other than an M has the right to be in charge of your welfare.

    oj









     
    shobhamma and Balajee like this.
  6. Balajee

    Balajee IL Hall of Fame

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    You cna't spell diarrhea Kamalji? Then if you aren't careful you could end up as professor at some medical college.
     
    vrikshakadali likes this.
  7. Balajee

    Balajee IL Hall of Fame

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  8. Akanksha1982

    Akanksha1982 IL Hall of Fame

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    As usual, a hilarious Snippet from you Balajee. Really enjoyed it.
    Only Reservation is not enough, we need to have an institution similar to IIT for these people. At least the defeated politicians will have a place to work as professors. If there is a shortage of professors, we can ship many from US as well.
     
    sindmani likes this.
  9. Balajee

    Balajee IL Hall of Fame

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    Akanksha it would be fun to see Trump as a professor He has lot of fans here. A Hindu group even celebrated his birthday. Don't be surprised if we have Trump Jayanti celebrations every year in India.
     
  10. sindmani

    sindmani Platinum IL'ite

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    Very hilarious one. Was it true regarding english and economics professor. Really pathetic
     

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