It has been 2 years,still I have not come out of the pain.I will always curse the day that dawned shattering my happiness for ever.February 5, 2010, My beloved mom took her last breath holding mine and my dad's hands.Her reason of death is still inconclusive.Few doctors say it may have been cardiac arrest or pulmonary embolism. My dad, a doctor himself was helpless ,as it all happened within few minutes. "Why me ?", that has been the question that comes to mind every second.Death is painful and inevitable.I wouldnt have wished this to happen to anyone even in my dream,yet it has happen to me for real.She was young,active and full of energy. We were very close and not having here is like losing a huge part of me.There are days when I do not feel like facing the day.Just lie in bed and recall all the time spent with her. The feeling cannot be describe.I have come up with putting in words i feel at times..Its like piercing the chest with a sharp knife and deepening till it reaches the heart and stab it when a person is in full conscious,instead of blood tears burst out of my eyes. My anguish may have reduced but there is always a tinge of sadness in my soul.I feel her presence, her disapproving glance when I choose a bad outfit,her appreciation when i cook well and only that moved my day. I have tried my best not to give a single reason to complain about me from her.Thats the only consolation.I am her only and best daughter.Its very lonely without her."Time will heal" is a widespread saying.But not always. Distraction works.Every single minute i come with some thing to keep me occupied.She is somewhere , invisible,yet close ,watching me.These thoughts keep me moving.