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Reminiscence

Discussion in 'Snippets of Life (Non-Fiction)' started by SupriyaDinesh, Feb 4, 2012.

  1. SupriyaDinesh

    SupriyaDinesh Silver IL'ite

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    It has been 2 years,still I have not come out of the pain.I will always curse the day that dawned shattering my happiness for ever.February 5, 2010, My beloved mom took her last breath holding mine and my dad's hands.Her reason of death is still inconclusive.Few doctors say it may have been cardiac arrest or pulmonary embolism. My dad, a doctor himself was helpless ,as it all happened within few minutes.
    "Why me ?", that has been the question that comes to mind every second.Death is painful and inevitable.I wouldnt have wished this to happen to anyone even in my dream,yet it has happen to me for real.She was young,active and full of energy.
    We were very close and not having here is like losing a huge part of me.There are days when I do not feel like facing the day.Just lie in bed and recall all the time spent with her.
    The feeling cannot be describe.I have come up with putting in words i feel at times..Its like piercing the chest with a sharp knife and deepening till it reaches the heart and stab it when a person is in full conscious,instead of blood tears burst out of my eyes.
    My anguish may have reduced but there is always a tinge of sadness in my soul.I feel her presence, her disapproving glance when I choose a bad outfit,her appreciation when i cook well and only that moved my day.
    I have tried my best not to give a single reason to complain about me from her.Thats the only consolation.I am her only and best daughter.Its very lonely without her."Time will heal" is a widespread saying.But not always.
    Distraction works.Every single minute i come with some thing to keep me occupied.She is somewhere , invisible,yet close ,watching me.These thoughts keep me moving.
     
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  2. shyamala1234

    shyamala1234 Platinum IL'ite

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    Keep yourself occupied....that is one way of coping with grief. Everyone in this world has lost their near and dear ones....but getting on with life. We all would meet the near and dear ones in heaven...it is only a matter of time. Just think how your mother wanted you to live...would she have liked you to live like this with depression. I don't think so. I don't want my son or daughter to go mourning for me when I am not there. I want them to live happily and get on with life.You might be knowing the story of Buddha and Kisa gothami. She loses her son and comes to Buddha for some consolation He asks her to get some mustard seeds.....one condition he puts. The mustard seeds should be from such a house where no death has occured. She tries. But in every house she finds that some calamity has happened. She goes back to Buddha and tells him. They he preaches her a lot of philosophy of life and death and she finds her peace.
     
  3. prana

    prana IL Hall of Fame

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    sorry to hear this supriya..may her soul rest in peace..
    Yes, you said it corectly..she is somewhere around you watching you very keenly..she always wants her DD very happy right..so be happy then only her soul also will be happy..I know how painful it is..but life has to move on dear...so please come out of this ordeal..
     
  4. satchitananda

    satchitananda Moderator Staff Member IL Hall of Fame

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    Supriya, a big hug to you. You are so right. Our parents never go away. They are always around us, watching over us and guiding us. That is why you always feel her presence around you, no matter what you are doing.
    Life goes on and we have to continue doing what we have to and make them happy and proud of us, wherever they are.
     
  5. shvap_786

    shvap_786 Gold IL'ite

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    Dear SD...

    Eyes watered no words for mothers love... Especially we realize it so much after being a mother. She is always around you in some form.. it will be painful but , days will move on , it has too...
     
  6. Jananikrithsan

    Jananikrithsan Gold IL'ite

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    Dear Supriya,
    Somehow I knew that a thread from you woulld talk about your dear mom and it has indeed!
    I can well imagine how you must be feeling , rightly so time cannot heal all that happens in a flash!
    She was and will be your strength now and forever!
     
  7. Padmini

    Padmini IL Hall of Fame

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    Dear Supriya,
    The post shows your agony that still you experience . It is true,
    Look in those eyes... Listen to that dear voice... Notice the feeling of even a single touch that is bestowed upon you by that gentle hand ! Make much of it while yet you have that most precious of all gifts. Read the unfathomable love of those eyes; the anxiety of that tone and look, however slight is your pain. In after life you may have friends, fond, dears, but never you will have again the inexpressible love & gentleness levished upon you which none but a mother bestows.But dear try to come out of it soon. Your mother will always likes you to see you in cheerful mood
    with love
    pad
     
  8. Sriniketan

    Sriniketan IL Hall of Fame

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    Supriya,
    Could remember the day, you had posted this news in IL.
    Very true, this loss is irreparable, unconsolable loss.

    Parents are our guardian angels. These thoughts do console us and keep us on the right path.
    How is your dad doing now?

    Sriniketan
     
  9. SupriyaDinesh

    SupriyaDinesh Silver IL'ite

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    Thanks Shyamala,Yes i have read that story. Thank you Prana,Padmini Aunty,Satchi,Vahee,Janani,Bhargavi.
     

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