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Relationships: Sweet N Sour

Discussion in 'Stories (Fiction)' started by GeetaKashyap, Mar 19, 2019.

  1. GeetaKashyap

    GeetaKashyap IL Hall of Fame

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    You are so right, Rihana. Better education and exposure to the world outside has made us think as individuals and develop individuality. As the days pass by, even a couple will find it tough to share a single bedroom! This is the reality in many houses already as they don't want to compromise on their sleeping habits or tolerate each other's post-sleep habits! (Even differed working hours are contributing to this divide:hmmm:)

    Earlier, only his parents enjoyed extraordinary privileges, now even wife's parents claim for the privileges as their daughter is also educated and earning! You can now expect increased interference! Our Indian society is in transition now, let us see how it will evolve!
     
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  2. Greenbay

    Greenbay Gold IL'ite

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    Geeta avare, enjoyable snippet. I was really LOL reading your narration. You are one talented lady with all talents blended in correct portion.

    I tend to agree with Rihana. First few years of married life should be just husband and wife when the marital bond is getting forged especially if the parents are able bodied and siblings are independent. Especially if they are living in a metro with plenty of options to choose for dwelling. Can MIL-DIL differences crop then too? Can we expect another story from you along these lines?
     
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  3. GeetaKashyap

    GeetaKashyap IL Hall of Fame

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    Thank you, GB, for your generous compliments. How are your twins and wife?

    I too agree with Rihana. What you say is perfect in every way.

    Many parents these days are actively practising this. Among the recently qualified parents-in-law, many are still to retire and they don't want to be subservient to their children or even care full-time for the grandkids. Modern exposure is enticing them to indulge themselves, take up travel, pursue hobbies and so on. This attitude is now being seen by their children as 'selfishness'! Recently, a relative refused her grandkid duty+6 months USA homestay point-blank and their son and dil are terribly disappointed and miffed. The latest war for supremacy is between 'his parents or her parents'. Invariably, her parents out-do and win the coveted 'Most favoured status'! :boxing::argue: We Indians are Unique, God help us!

    Thank you for the encouragement:thumbup:; I am working on it.
     
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  4. Paripoorna

    Paripoorna Gold IL'ite

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    @GeetaKashyap ,
    Very nice story. Enjoyed reading each and every dialogue.
    I am wondering in how many household we see Veer. Son would listen to both side of stories and leave it at that for the MIL-DIL to resolve themselves..isnt it?
     
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  5. GeetaKashyap

    GeetaKashyap IL Hall of Fame

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    Thanks for your fb, Paripoorna.

    In a marriage, several personalities are bound to clash. It would be nice if people approach marriage with the right awareness, expectations and maturity. Drawing clear boundaries is very important. I am a strong advocate of pre-marital counselling for the couple and their parents.

    In my story, the mother has entitlement issues, expects to be accorded a high position and respected without opposition. This nullifies her other good qualities. She is wise but traditional. Dil is self-centered, immature and has entitlement issues. The son is duty bound towards both and tries the balancing act. But with his wife he tries to play one-upmanship & he doesn't solve any issue here! The issues are bound to multiply and blow up badly some day!

    I believe, someone should take hard decisions and draw clear boundaries. It may cause some heart-ache in the beginning but works out fine on the long run.

    Sometimes letting mil n dil to sort out on their own can also be dangerous. One would never know when the boundaries were crossed! He should have established clear ground rules, mother could have stepped back to keep her dignity intact and the dil could have handled the issue with a little more maturity.

    Managing with maturity is perhaps the key.
     
    Last edited: Mar 22, 2019
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  6. cheenu123

    cheenu123 Gold IL'ite

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    @GeetaKashyap,
    Excellent story it is!!
    However, it reminded me of my own life when I was once living with my DH and MIL.
    My MIL was above 60 and staying with us.
    Every time I had an issue with her, my DH would support her citing her age and importance in the household.
    Even when I was getting divorced my attorney asked me if I was OK to live with DH sans MIL? To this I was OK but my DH refused point blank since MIL had nowhere to go. She had an older daughter who was married but she refused to keep her mother with her for a longtime basis.
    I wonder what options do such DILs have? They have to live with the MIL no matter what.
     
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  7. aarthi28

    aarthi28 Platinum IL'ite

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    @GeetaKashyap
    Super sooper story and you got the characters of the living society. I remember me and my mil. Though we have lots of understandinsa and misunderstandings we never let down each other. Some time I keep shut, some times I raise for myself. But ultimately, I go at her back apologizing and soon she wud say it's OK, you need to change. Just a praise will take them heights and ofcourse its true that without elders at home life wud be miserable.
    The conversations were portrayed and my widened jaws did not reduce until the end of part, 3.Really a good one to munch.
     
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  8. GeetaKashyap

    GeetaKashyap IL Hall of Fame

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    I feel sorry for you, dear cheenu.

    Yours was a difficult situation. One of you must have given in. Your mother-in-law should have considered her son's happiness and reduced her expectations and dominance. Your husband could have asked some relative to drive sense into your mil or kept her in a neighbouring house till you settled down. His sister could have taken her mother with her for a while till you calmed down and established yourself. Or you could have been more giving considering your husband's helpless situation. Sometimes letting go of a toxic relationship is also essential. (I am just trying to analyse. My reading may be totally wrong as I don't have all the info. Pardon me if I have said something hurtful.)

    Sadly, you had to go through this unpleasant phase and suffer. Try to restart life in a positive way; my prayers and good wishes will always be with you.
     
    Last edited: Mar 22, 2019
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  9. GeetaKashyap

    GeetaKashyap IL Hall of Fame

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    Thanks a lot, dear Aarathi, for this beautiful fb and for sharing your practical wisdom. It will be of use to a newly wed girl. Some compromises are inevitable.:clap2:
     
  10. Anusha2917

    Anusha2917 IL Hall of Fame

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    What a sweet finish . :) Wish all MILs and DILs stay like this. Fight but patch up. Holding on to grudges is too much to put our respective time on :)
     
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