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Relationships Forum Chatter & Grey Matter

Discussion in 'Married Life' started by Rihana, Jun 22, 2016.

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  1. Nonya

    Nonya Platinum IL'ite

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    Ha..ha..ha.. Just a couple of weeks ago, I saw this magazine cartoon about Mr. Rihana. A couple are about to get in to a dinner party at a friend's. DH asking wife: "How much should I pretend to care about how they made their yams ?"
    [​IMG]
     
  2. Rihana

    Rihana Moderator Staff Member IL Hall of Fame

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    Which brings up the general question - when going to visit somebody's house or if some people are coming over, does your better-half need some orientation/ training or a refresher-course : ) before the event? : ) On what to say, what not to say, what questions to not ask, and what upcoming things like vacations are not to be mentioned. Like we tell children to be polite, say hello, Namaste, and not to jump on furniture. : )

    With us, sometimes on the way to a party, I casually say in the car 'hey let's not mention this for now' . The 'this' is usually some big purchase, or some upcoming plans which are still tentative.
     
    KashmirFlower and Nonya like this.
  3. Nonya

    Nonya Platinum IL'ite

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    We had been told in oh..so..many corporate meetings that phrase "need to know".
    We follow that in our party conversations. When we plan to volunteer some new information, we do it in the ear-shot of each other.
     
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  4. Viswamitra

    Viswamitra IL Hall of Fame

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    Having lived in a corporate environment where everything was kept close to my vest, after my retirement from a public company, I became a very transparent individual in order to make me feel a lot comfortable.

    My wife always has a problem with me saying everything to everyone including the best times we have in life. She kind of coached me not to share too much and generally interact in social gathering. I misunderstood as saying "I am fine" could be construed as doing well. When one individual asked me in a social gathering over the weekend, "How are you doing?", I responded, "We are surviving with one of us having a back pain and another having a cataract surgery. My wife was rolling her cataract-covered eyes at me stating that, "Why don't you just say, I am fine?" I realize I can never behave as per instructions in any social gathering.

    Viswa
     
    sindmani, Laks09, Rihana and 3 others like this.
  5. Umanga

    Umanga Gold IL'ite

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    Saying you are not doing well in India is a sin. Everybody, you, your wife and your child all must be doing "well". What if one is not doing well? What then? You almost feel Indians will start criticising you if you dare to be frank. I really don't understand why people socialise if we have to keep our guard up all the time. Stay at home and relax and spend time with people who know you and are comfortable with your situation.
     
  6. satchitananda

    satchitananda IL Hall of Fame

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    ashima10, Rihana and Viswamitra like this.
  7. Umanga

    Umanga Gold IL'ite

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    I don't know why Indians behave like this. Sit at home and drink your tea quietly.
     
  8. Viswamitra

    Viswamitra IL Hall of Fame

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    @Umanga,

    I have lost touch with Indian socializing events as I have moved away from India for the past 22 years. Rarely, I attend social events in India. In the US, people share their sufferings as well as good times freely with others as everyone is expected to think, say and wish well for others. When we go to social gatherings consist of only Indians in America, it gets a little tricky as some have adapted to the American style while others remain Indian in their social skills. That is when you get really confused.

    If one is hit with a major setback, it is common here for someone to say, "I was doing okay until a few minutes ago" if someone asks, "How are you?"

    Viswa
     
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  9. Umanga

    Umanga Gold IL'ite

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    Bizarre.
     
  10. Rihana

    Rihana Moderator Staff Member IL Hall of Fame

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    Wanted to get some opinions on this:

    A couple living in the UAE,1 kid, work hard, live not very lavishly. The man has been sending money to family in India for some years. Money goes to a brother who is married with kids, and living with parents. Family in India has a habit of giving money to needy relatives and a loser sibling. Now the UAE man, on instigation of wife, wants to tell his brother to stop giving money to relatives and their sibling. The UAE wife works hard - after a day job as teacher, walks long distance to give tuition to kids in people's homes.

    Question - if a person gives money regularly to married brother and parents, up to about 1/4th of the India family's expenses, does he/she have the right to say 'stop giving money to relatives and loser sibling'.
     
    sindmani, poovai and Sunshine04 like this.
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