1. How to Build Positivity in Married Life? : Click Here
    Dismiss Notice
  2. If someone taught you via skype, what would you want to learn? Tell us here!
    Dismiss Notice

Relationship Hijack And Banter

Discussion in 'Married Life' started by Rihana, Sep 17, 2018.

  1. nemesis

    nemesis Platinum IL'ite

    Messages:
    2,329
    Likes Received:
    2,287
    Trophy Points:
    283
    Gender:
    Male
    Hah! the other forum i visit give infraction points if i quote the whole message, hence that edit!

    As long as he is pointing it out, all is well i guess.
     
    SunPa likes this.
  2. Anusha2917

    Anusha2917 Finest Post Winner

    Messages:
    1,687
    Likes Received:
    5,147
    Trophy Points:
    383
    Gender:
    Female
    They are not interested at all in the first place.
    The stress my aunt is undergoing with her health issues because of which she's immobile makes her feel she's counting her days and she wants her kids to "settle down" . I'm taking no sides and decided to stay away from this family drama. I can't do this even for the sake of her happiness .
     
  3. startinganew

    startinganew Gold IL'ite

    Messages:
    174
    Likes Received:
    270
    Trophy Points:
    123
    Gender:
    Female
    @Amulet! :clap2: You have a business plan in the making!

    I was just thinking - what if marriage vows have to be renewed every 5 years or 10 years. By default, you'd be out of marriage if you don't make plans to renew.

    Just like the dreaded annual review in the corporate world. The few months before that - everyone gets their best performance out!

    This way, to be "IN-the-marriage" everyone has to make efforts. Spouse and in-laws - no one can take the "marriage" deal for granted.

    Every 5 years would be perfect. At least the last 1 year - if both partners get some semblance of "companionship" and happiness in the marriage - they will work harder to ensure the other party will be interested in renewal.

    #fiveyearmarriage :tonguewink:
     
    dhivyacc likes this.
  4. confused4sure

    confused4sure Silver IL'ite

    Messages:
    77
    Likes Received:
    88
    Trophy Points:
    58
    Gender:
    Female
    Prior to my marriage, I was living with a married couple. The lady of the house would vent to me about her PILs and how her husband always stood by them and never her. I always wondered why there was so much animosity and why they all could not just get along.... :) so naive...

    After my marriage, I understand why parents gave so much importance to boy's family background, their values, their upbringing... because once you are married, you are dealing with the whole family and not just the husband anymore.

    I met my PILs and all his family members only on the day of the marriage. I had know my husband for a year, and I thought I knew exactly what I was getting into. Except, I did not know the most important dynamics, how my MIL controls her son - especially when she felt threatened. I was too naive to even guess that this was a critical one. Once I was at his place for a week I knew what I was up against. :(

    So, now I tell all my cousins, even if it is love marriage, meet the boys family, understand the family dynamics, before taking the plunge. At least this way, you know what you are going to deal with.
     
    Lalithambigai and yellowmango like this.
  5. Laks09

    Laks09 Moderator Staff Member IL Hall of Fame

    Messages:
    5,404
    Likes Received:
    8,354
    Trophy Points:
    440
    Gender:
    Female
    @Novalis - Welcome back. Whenever you go MIA, I pay closer attention to all the new avatars that start posting around here. After all, your dashavataram is legendary!

    :smilingimp::smilingimp::smilingimp:
     
  6. Amulet

    Amulet Platinum IL'ite

    Messages:
    2,111
    Likes Received:
    3,546
    Trophy Points:
    283
    Gender:
    Female
    In the west, where cohabiting with the in-laws happens only in rare cases, and in emergencies, this aspect is important as well. Controlling a son from a distance is totally possible: Hear this Audio.

    This is the reason when a dating couple deem themselves a "couple", with the potential for a legal marriage (eventually), visits to parents' happens during the high holidays (Thanksgiving, Memorial day weekend, Christmas etc..). This is the time when a MIL gets to see who would get a controlling interest in her son, or a FIL would get to see who had seduced his little baby....etc.....

    That is also the time for the young person to see and gauge the potential in-law household, and the fauna in their natural habitat.

    However, conversations such as the following are also possible:
    Mum: Is this (finally) the one ?
    Child: one what ?
    Mum: be serious, is he the one ? Asking you so that we can be nice to him, na.
    Child: oh...that one? No...mummie.... I brought him so that you two can scare him off.
     
    Lalithambigai and yellowmango like this.
  7. confused4sure

    confused4sure Silver IL'ite

    Messages:
    77
    Likes Received:
    88
    Trophy Points:
    58
    Gender:
    Female
    Replace honey with betaaa and you got my MIL right there! Funny video...
     
    Amulet and yellowmango like this.
  8. SGBV

    SGBV Finest Post Winner

    Messages:
    5,078
    Likes Received:
    10,009
    Trophy Points:
    438
    Gender:
    Female
    Even if that means breaking up or calling off the engagement, I would say it is worth it.
    Don't get involved with some insecure, deeply threatened, fragile people's drama for life.

    You may cry for a year or so after break-up; but then you will move on.
    You can never escape a marriage without any damage.
     
    shreepriya and yellowmango like this.
  9. yellowmango

    yellowmango IL Hall of Fame

    Messages:
    7,463
    Likes Received:
    22,345
    Trophy Points:
    440
    Gender:
    Female
    :roflmao:
    Atleast here the emotional blackmail was for a valid occasion. Expecting a child to be around for a big medical procedure is not too much although the means were OTT. Better than someone throwing a weeping fit because the son does not want them to watch on skype while he eats his breakfast.:shakehead:
     
    Sunshine04 and shravs3 like this.
  10. Novalis

    Novalis Finest Post Winner

    Messages:
    384
    Likes Received:
    755
    Trophy Points:
    173
    Gender:
    Female
    I am that mechanic ever fiddling with life’s wondrous mysteries excited and stunned about everything I discover. If you notice my online absence, picture me in some newfound distraction lauding ... wah this pot, wah this book, wah this golden oreo biscuit. That’s how I usually am offline. Wah this gaana!

     

Share This Page