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Relationship Hijack And Banter

Discussion in 'Married Life' started by Rihana, Sep 17, 2018.

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  1. Anusha2917

    Anusha2917 IL Hall of Fame

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    This is so important and this what I want to tell my cousins but for now I have decided to shut my mouth and mind my business and not impose anything even though my aunt tells to advice them.
    No I won't take responsibility for anybody's life decisions.:grinning: Directly or indirectly.
     
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  2. SunPa

    SunPa Platinum IL'ite

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    That is my goal - watch from a safe distance.

    So well that is a job very well done , not that I would expect any less from you @Amulet

    No one knows the future but my DD pretty independent and kind of stupid - cannot lead this horse to the water, forget making her drink.
    The younger one is in his early teens , right now heeds to my advice mostly ( hallelujah!) but he has a decade and wonder what metamorphosis he will undergo?

    Hopefully , they can choose good partners, and despite best intentions and effort, if it doesnt work out , hope they are strong enough to pick themselves up and move on , a little wiser now.

    Dun worry, in this day and with their independence, I doubt they wanna go for shotgun weddings. Just get the moolah for the destination wedding :banana::banana:
     
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  3. nemesis

    nemesis Platinum IL'ite

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    love- the glue that brings a man and woman together is only a facade; in the arranged marriage, all the {looks ∩ income ∩ character} utopian parameters which they can't 'compromise' - only serve to bring two of them together.

    It is all about creating and sustaining a companionship: getting used to each other- the +, -, as well as the quirks; if that happens, the initial sparks and charms are gradually replaced by peace and contentment. Hence the statement, 'i want to grow old with him/her'.

    So to while time away while being hung up on the parameters is the classic case of losing the forest for the trees.
     
  4. yellowmango

    yellowmango IL Hall of Fame

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    +1
    Looks should matter to the two people concerned only and job kind of indicates to the
    kind of place or environment one will share in the future....

    I bet the IITs,IBMs or Ivy Leagues do not run a course on how to be a good spouse....
     
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  5. Amulet

    Amulet Platinum IL'ite

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    You are a young person yourself... you shouldn't be getting your ...... in a twist on this kind of bizness.
    The boy and girl should choose their own people and submit horoscopes to their daddy for whatever computations he does. When they are individually vested (in whatever look or antecedent in the early information) they will fight with their dad to fix the horoscope match in the favor of the match.

    If the boy knows that in a couple of more years he'd be 30 and can only hope to marry heavy set women, with mustaches, as well as hair on their backs, he can be rushed into a wedding to the Purohit's child that is likely good for him. If he only knew that story about how purohit's daughters always want to run away and become pole dancers....he would think favorably of them.
     
  6. yellowmango

    yellowmango IL Hall of Fame

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    It is possible they are not attracted to them.The reasons could be just excuses because they cannot say the real reason....?

    Or may be they are really so picky.
     
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  7. Anusha2917

    Anusha2917 IL Hall of Fame

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    :roflmao:

    You are right and exactly I want to be out of this for now and in future as well.
     
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  8. Amulet

    Amulet Platinum IL'ite

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    Yes, you should watch from a safe distance.
     
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  9. SunPa

    SunPa Platinum IL'ite

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    @SGBV asian men are typically mamma's boys. That is something every girl should be wary of. Actually if we take out all the mamma's boys, the no of eligible men would shrink to 1/10 the size atleast.

    I just hope , our generation is doing a better job of raising our sons . Hope we will not let our fears of being displaced from our son's life , overcome our love for them. Our generation is self sufficient and independent , so there is hope.

    Imho, it is very important for partners to respect each other. I feel it is each other's duty to protect one another. And independent thinking - not to be unduly influenced by mum, dad, friends . That is why when I had issues with my MIL, my main grouse was with DH.

    Time and again I have said, with DIL- MIL problems - the one person who has to be decisive and who can bring change is the man. If he is going to shake his head like a gangireddu (temple cow) to MIL , DIL or both , without being sensible and rational, of course there will be no peace in the house.

    Just reading your posts , you come across as a mature , strong, caring lady- your DH is a lucky man. Surely he could see that. Just my humble opinion, if he was manipulated - then it is his fault too. As an adult, he should have realised his parent's insecurities and should have assuaged their fears and yet be firm with them - that you are his wife and you should be treated with the respect. If he couldnt see that , or saw that and couldnt act on it the right way, the problem is his problem too.

    Apologies if I crossed a line there , but that is my honest opinion.

     
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  10. SunPa

    SunPa Platinum IL'ite

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    @nemesis , hmmm maybe my DH has a point?
    He thinks I talk too much too...
     
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