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Relationship Hijack And Banter

Discussion in 'Married Life' started by Rihana, Sep 17, 2018.

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  1. Ouroboros

    Ouroboros Silver IL'ite

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    Willing, wanting, waiting, wishing, wondering, wanna-ing to tell you — you must inaugurate the fun app/technology providing clips for situations. You ace in that!
     
  2. Ouroboros

    Ouroboros Silver IL'ite

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    “If I knew” is my psyched-up soliloquy in the manner of a chirpy gnome brooding in a dark grotto. The planned response was two-fold, about ‘emerging doors’, and more recently ‘look Maggie’. Thank you for the clip. It was memorable in every way. Not only was it gurgly and uplifting, but it was also chummy atypical and sweet between the boy and the pup on his formative walk. I liked the latter sentiment more of his normalising disclosure to the anxious pet. Don’t know why — those words hold vast emotion.
     
  3. Ouroboros

    Ouroboros Silver IL'ite

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    Peace so soon?! I am not even given the chance to exhibit my sarpa krodh (wrath of the snake) and turn blue, red, black some sinister and wound colour with sulfurous eyes. (Heh! I was only humouring.) Viswa, you are brimming zen and peace-loving with preemptive closure even if the dialogue has NO drifted prospects to break into an armed conflict of fangs and rifles. Peace?!
     
  4. Viswamitra

    Viswamitra IL Hall of Fame

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    In general, I am afraid of reptiles of this category. Hissing is good enough for me to go on a defensive mode and put up my guard. Full-fledged sarpa Krodh including turning blue, sulfurous eyes, etc. are too frightening. Don't forget we live in the world where mere first fight could end up in disappearance of an individual. Even if someone extends his hand in friendship, there is a good chance it will be severed. If he screams, he might be cut into pieces with a bone saw when he is still alive. Rather I would do Naga Pooja to chill down the sarpa. Aum Shanti Shanti Shantihi!

    Sarpa Sarpa maha sarpa gaccha sarpa mahaa visha
    janamejayasya yagynante aasteeka vachanam smara


    Viswa
     
  5. Ouroboros

    Ouroboros Silver IL'ite

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    look me in the eye, look me in the eye
    I no lie, I no sigh, I no cry, I only try
    look me in the eye, look me in the eye

     
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  6. Rihana

    Rihana Moderator Staff Member IL Hall of Fame

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    And you too, stranger!
    Pleasant surprise to see a post from you, Sandhya!
     
    Last edited: Oct 25, 2018
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  7. Ouroboros

    Ouroboros Silver IL'ite

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    It’s all Nicomachaen and Rohinton Mistry! Too thin slicing of life’s timeline is unexamined and lacking responsibility. Too wodge-y is rutting in the past.

    A fine slice and balance!

    The reference was just a nudge to discover preferential coping strategies depending on the cognitive adaptability of an individual. The Net is abundant with variations and rebuttals and ethical dilemmas and counter-arguments on ‘personal identity’ evaluation. Whilst you are entangling the disputation of sonny boy and dad, Parfit wrote extensively on surrendering to association through space (stranger other) and not just time (future you) from personal identity theories. I personally find these repurposed and syncopated (possible dissociate rather than impossible detonate) techniques helpful in my everyday churn to sustain high-intensity interactions.

    The common trajectory is — hurt, bad feeling, halt, plod, move, relapse or recover, which usually takes hours to days. I was told once, in my first job, to not get into a “bad emotional state” in a contentious dialogue thence to recover. The first 30 seconds of my brain activity on an activating event should be consciously tricked into a healthy emotion. These are helpful for workplace fireworks. But, incredibly, I found these adaptations more effective in personal life. In the beginning, I scoffed at these magical bulletins, but slowly I started to recognise the need to hotwire my emotional states.

    I might just be a welter of buzzing carbon atoms but I love the emergent life out of the quirky uncertainty (crazy darn crazy) a lot and cannot rut away in “bad emotional state”.

    Hence as much as possible I construct my reality to my accord. It’s almost like an invisible cortex over my brain redirecting and reconstructing my intercepted reality. What can I say? I crazy love my life to dwell or lapse on factors beyond my control on other’s temperament. You would not come across another creature who dearly loves living her life to her amenable reality with synaptic ejections firing off every 30 seconds — nah! Nah! Not worth! Not worth! This situation is not worth thinking! Nah!
     
    Last edited: Oct 25, 2018
  8. 1Sandhya

    1Sandhya Platinum IL'ite

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    Hi Rihana!!!!

    So nice to bump into you! How are you?

    (Am confused how my post to blessed came here? I don’t remember even seeing this thread yesterday )
     
  9. silentlistener

    silentlistener Silver IL'ite

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    Great! It's possible primarily because you yourself are a positively built personality individual @Rakhii

    Having said that I am seeking your help to understand an intriguing phenomena that I have encountered.

    I have a female classmate, who is a close friend of me. She is 3 years elder to me in age. We share a very platonic friendship for more than 15 years. She has a similar experience. her husband cheated on her. But once found out he admitted and he promised never to stray back again. To the best of her knowledge he didn't continue with the affair. My female classmate reconciled and started living with him for the sake of her son. That son n is in teens. She genuinely genuinely and genuinely wants to live with her husband and to keep the home intact for the sake of her son

    But whenever she tried to be close with him and whenever he tried to be intimate with her physically and emotionally, she felt it is a feeling of disgust, that crops up. The feeling that this man has been intimate with another woman few months back ...a few years back turns her off totally. It rather builds up more hatred towards him when she is close to him.

    To this date, she is not able to tolerate this feeling of disgust she develops towards him. For the same reason now she has separated from him. Both are single now.

    My question to you is @Rakhii , did this feeling of disgust not crop up in your case while you are close to him ? If such a highly negative feeling had cropped up in your case then how did you manage to make it a positive one ?

    This could possibly be the biggest reason why many women are not able to forgive their husbands even after the husband's have genuinely quit their respective affairs.

    This post is with reference to the post:
    Planning To Divorce And Pregnant.. Please Advice Me.
     
    Last edited: Nov 4, 2018
  10. silentlistener

    silentlistener Silver IL'ite

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    Long Back, I bought a book of this Speaker Esther Perel , 'Mating in Captivity". The language and expression in that book was so tough , I threw the book away after reading a few pages.

    But this brief talk was very interesting and very informative. The two reasons which she stressed as the reasons that affairs are not going to go away .....they are here to stay

    1) passion has a finite shelf life

    2) in affairs, one keeps longing and desiring for the thing/ the person which they can't have easily.... the feeling of can't have, increases the Desire.
     
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