Relationship Hijack And Banter

LOL. I said that in jest -- head in mom's lap and feet in wife's.

Seriously, I really don't know the answer. I never saw such display of affection or love between parent and grown child in my family, my extended family, and not in the extended family on my in-laws side. After each child grew up, physical contact with the parent naturally got reduced over time. Nothing to do with marriage. Once a child grew old enough to start working, the lying in lap kind of thing just stopped happening. Taking care of the child or parent by pressing an aching forehead or arms/legs when either is sick is different.

It might vary from family to family. The bigger question IMO would be that if a man doesn't like his wife lying in her father's lap, or a woman doesn't like her husband lying in his mother's lap, should that dislike be respected or does the parent-child lying rule above that.

A while back we had a discussion here about a grown brother and sister.. The married brother helping the married sister with her saree pallu or pleats arrangement. The brother's wife did not like it. If I remember right, it was in a previous version of this banter thread, and thread had to be closed after some raksha-bandhan arguments were refuted with eeww/yuck arguments. : )

 

Yes. After reading posts in IL, communicating offline with some members, and some candid conversations with friends in real life, I realized I am not alone. It was actually of comfort to know that.

And yes, the parampara is expected from our kids too. One beneficiary (Ben) agrees with me that I have gotten the short end of the stick multiple times and that it is horribly wrong. Ben and I were in an autorickshaw and had a philosophical conversation. Ben said you have so much, why let the injustice rankle. I said, "A friend pointed out to me that by giving up what I give up, I am giving it up for my children too. That hurts for some reason." I half-seriously asked Ben, "Why don't you write a will that will give some of the stuff to my kids." Ben is childless (or rather child-free). Ben said an outright no. Even after his/her death, Ben wanted to make sure the NRI-always-gives parampara should continue. : )

 

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Was from before you were born...... : )

Managed to find the thread. But even if threatened that my login will be disabled for ever, I will not disclose the search string I used to find thread. + I shall now proceed to wash with generous amount of Dove soap (and maybe some bleach) the fingertips that typed the search string. : )

Issue in marriage