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Relationship Hijack And Banter

Discussion in 'Married Life' started by Rihana, Sep 17, 2018.

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  1. Amulet

    Amulet Platinum IL'ite

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    [​IMG]

    I saw that photo in an article with a title "Predictors of Divorce According to Science". I thought wow...she is a lot hotter, and should have a better looking guy, although they are both probably models posing for that.

    The photo on the article "How to cope when your spouse shuts down", has a couple who are well matched in looks. It is interesting to see that the picture has the guy who is stonewalling, while the woman is shown as talking. Why should this always be so-- woman talks, and guy shuts up :tonguewink:?

    [​IMG]

    And in that same portal, there was a link to Couples Therapy with an image that can make you RFLOL :smile:. That picture is fit to be in the thread Image-to-prose challenge: My caption for that would be ....
    woman saying to man: Half Bezos ? You are not even one millionth of Jeff Bezos.

    [​IMG]
     
    Last edited: Oct 23, 2019
  2. Mistt

    Mistt IL Hall of Fame

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    What you said is 100% true but these NRI sons never say "NO" because they can't tolerate emotional blackmail from their parents and siblings.
     
    Last edited: Oct 23, 2019
    Rihana, SinghManisha and Sunshine04 like this.
  3. WannabValerie

    WannabValerie Bronze IL'ite

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    Ok, would anyone here or anywhere who was brought up with values, kindness and unconditional affection refuse helping a sibling when its the need of time?... no.

    But the parents choose to take a side->condition the minds-> count the yeilds -> create a cause-> owns resources-> deliver it to the side they need.

    I mean how tough is chosing the first option?... why dont you trust your children that they will get each other's backs when they need it?. What is the fear that one sibling will surely abandon another?... The only reason I see to take the second option is that if they already know that they will fail to raise a balanced adult. So they dont trust their own children and do it for them.

    I am only advocating sons who are pot fillers here , I havnt even got to the son's wife part.

    Corrections welcome
     
  4. WannabValerie

    WannabValerie Bronze IL'ite

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    The registration is not the tough part..for some parents, the toughest part is to bring themselves to the idea of actually registering on the kids names.
     
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  5. Rihana

    Rihana IL Hall of Fame

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    Even Mindset cannot help much when the routine is as physically and mentally grueling as listed here and no help obtainable from family who are healthy enough to help.
     
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  6. Amulet

    Amulet Platinum IL'ite

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    :disrelieved:The poor thing. :disrelieved:
    If she is on trial for inlawcides, and I am in the jury, I'd vote to acquit her citing self-defense, and acting upon the genuine belief that her life was in danger.
     
  7. Anusha2917

    Anusha2917 IL Hall of Fame

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    That is a difficult routine.
    That was me in my early marriage days!
    I thought as a DIL I was responsible for all the chores and PILs are old and shouldn't be allowed to do any household work until I noticed these two slog a lot at my SIL's house.:grinning:
    Some kind of a lightening struck and I realized that I'm wrong in my approach.
    Slowly steadily I have started sharing the work.
    Delegation doesn't work with in laws. But small requests like "MA can you please put the washing machine, I'll teach you the steps" , "can you please cut veggies for me ", "can you please put rice and dhal in cooker, I'll finish my gym and takeover the cooking ".
    There are times when she has outright turned down my requests and after I come back from gym the rice dhal would not be ready. But I never get bogged down. If we need small help we should put our egos aside and keep trying. Next day again I would try with a little more smile. Yes it works and they have taken over certain tasks now ! All stay together and it's not a one man (woman) show.

    In OP's case she should start with small tasks like request MIL to load /unload dishwasher ,feed kid, cut veggies etc.
    Never delegate but request and when they don't do it no need to be offended. Keep trying keep on trying till we succeed.

    If they are hell bent in not helping the husband would have a tough time!!
     
  8. shravs3

    shravs3 IL Hall of Fame

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    But what if husband is of type that it’s wife duty to do all chores and ensure that his parents are not getting stressed? Poor wife will do until the volcano erupts
    :grinning-smiley-048:
     
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  9. Anusha2917

    Anusha2917 IL Hall of Fame

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    Lol.. Make the husband do.. The in laws will take over automatically..
    But yeah it's difficult if they have that mindset..
     
  10. Rihana

    Rihana IL Hall of Fame

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    It is great that you figured out ways to camouflage and "delegate" like how moms hide veges in idli, dosas, paratha and feed the child. But not all women will have that much resourcefulness or patience. Request outright turned down and return from gym to not cooked rice dhal... Try again with a little more smile... handle such behavior well before they are old enough to be cut some slack... I don't know.. I and many of my friends wouldn't be able to do it. : ) That takes a high level of the Pleasantly Positive. :worship2:
     
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