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Relationship Hijack And Banter - 3

Discussion in 'Married Life' started by Rihana, Nov 20, 2019.

  1. soumya2552

    soumya2552 Bronze IL'ite

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    sounds like a good idea of taking up a voluntary job. sometimes i like to hear others opinion to understand if I am thinking the right way or not.
    Thanks a ton for responding. And thanks heaps for reminding me about my attachment...i was in half mind when i was posting my resume here.
     
    Amulet likes this.
  2. Amulet

    Amulet IL Hall of Fame

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    If your husband allows you to be absent for long stretches of day time away from home, eventually he may not care if you get paid for your time-away from home or not. You can gently slide into some job. Keep applying while you do the volunteer work to train your husband's brain into accepting your absence from home.
     
    soumya2552 likes this.
  3. heron

    heron Platinum IL'ite

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    But ... but... hm...ok
     
  4. heron

    heron Platinum IL'ite

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    There were times when my mind was effed up with few things. I used to get pre heated and when my children come from school I was already space-less in my mind...when they wanted to talk about their painting or their finding of an ant hill I said 'not now later'... they did not understand what they actually said because; they said nothing!.
    Then one day my mum said in a casual telephone convo 'childhood dosnt come twice, dont let your adulthood spoil their childhood, I did some mistakes with you and I want you not to repeat'.

    I have been practicing spirituality and mindfulness just to get my priorities straight. Still not perfect, no one is but I dont want my children to think that I had wrong priorities.

    It feels sad reading stories when parents have drowned away in their issues and the children grow up to resent them. Its not easy.
     
    Last edited: Feb 29, 2020
    hermitcrab likes this.
  5. Rihana

    Rihana Finest Post Winner

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    She didn't know it, but I had the privilege of being @SinghManisha 's friend from 20 years ago. : )

    I try to live a line each day, and I blame each line for each white line in my hair. : )
     
    hermitcrab likes this.
  6. Amulet

    Amulet IL Hall of Fame

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    Ah... living together before marriage !!
    Eventually we (desi's) will also discover to what lengths foreigners had gone to avoid having a MiL (or in-laws), and eliminate all the consequent troubles from their "married" lives.

    Saas-Bahu tele-dramas will die out.
     
    Topaz49 likes this.
  7. mangaii

    mangaii Platinum IL'ite

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    This is not always true. My dad was from a big family of 12 siblings. His parents were busy with their own problems but he learned many life lessons during his childhood. It is not true children resent such relationship.There is nothing like one size fits all when it comes to parenting. Different things work for different family.
     
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  8. Amulet

    Amulet IL Hall of Fame

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    Google ASCII emojis or ascii emoticons
     
  9. Amulet

    Amulet IL Hall of Fame

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    In a recent profile post I found this at @Rihana's profile:
    upload_2020-3-2_23-32-32.png
     
    Thyagarajan likes this.
  10. hermitcrab

    hermitcrab Platinum IL'ite

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    I support the idea of living together, dating. I feel, I would not have been in a mess of a marriage, if I was more experienced :)
    My husband would have never agreed to livein with me, ours is arranged marriage. I am sure he lived in with someone else- he had a lot of stuff in house that looked like bought by woman. When asked, he would say it is a hand-me-down. Again, he would have never married his girlfriend because it would not have easy for him to manipulate, control, abuse- like he did to me.

    So, if back then, I had tried to date, and then tried to date my husband, and then tried to livein with him- I could have easily avoided being married to him.

    So yes, dating, having boyfriends, having intimate relationships, are all very important for having a good marriage and hence life for any young adult.
     
    BhumiBabe, Sunshine04 and AmulB like this.

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