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Regarding second marriage alliance search

Discussion in 'Married Life' started by ivlakshmi, Jan 22, 2012.

  1. ivlakshmi

    ivlakshmi Platinum IL'ite

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    Hi friends,

    some might know tht i am 27 yr old divorcee from iyengar family..
    I am pure veggie, respect all other traditions but have been habituated to do poojas for lord vishnu..
    While searching , I am not finding any grooms who is showing interest on me from iyengars..Now I am thinking to search in iyers (brahmin -vaidika, niyoga)..Can Ilites please advice me their traditions..like will they allow me to do worship of lord venkateswara/vishnu.. will they have garlic in all food stuff's daily? I am just asking here as there are many ILites in this form who can advice me. (There is one iyer friend of mine who doesnt worship any one other than lord shiva and there is no picture of any other god at her house).
     
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  2. Mahanu

    Mahanu Silver IL'ite

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    The things you have mentioned depends upon individual preferences. I think there are no standards for these things. It will be better to discuss frankly about your life style, preferences, habits etc with the prospective groom instead of guessing.

    Good luck!
     
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  3. malaswami

    malaswami Platinum IL'ite

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    Well said Mahanu. :) thanks
    That will make some good search instead
     
  4. sokanasanah

    sokanasanah IL Hall of Fame

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    One of the nicest concepts in Hindu philosophy is the concept of an "Ishta Devata". The idea is that there is no universally accepted form for God. So, one is free to worship God in the form one chooses, in the form that is congenial to one's conception, education, background, limitations, constraints, imagination, tastes and inclinations. The puny human mind cannot grasp the Godhead in its entirety. No matter which way you try to visualize it, all conceptions remain partial and limited. In Vaishnava tradition, this is why Krishna / Vishnu had to grant special powers of vision to Arjuna when he revealed his 'Vishwaroopa' - with his merely human mind, Arjuna could not grasp the all encompassing vision. In Sanskrit, this is expressed as "Ekam sadvipraha bahudha vadanti" meaning 'Truth is one, forms are many'.
    Historically, there have certainly been many religious conflicts between different Hindu sects. However this is best seen as a human failing. The philosophy itself leaves room for greater sophistication in a world view.
    The form in which you worship God is up to you. It is negotiable! We have certainly not captured His essence in a picture or vigraha that we use for worship. These objects are sacralized points of focus. There is no implication that God lives captive in that form.
    As for garlic, well, scientific evidence suggests that it is really good for health. While such a proscription may have had some logic in the old days, it is not the case anymore, so some re-evaluation is in order!
    Be generous in your world-view, look beyond superficialities and you will find generosity in turn.
    Good Luck!
     
  5. rose8282

    rose8282 Platinum IL'ite

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    I am a Brahmin and I believe in Lord Venkateswara. But I dont go crazy in poojas or anything..just that I believe if there is a supreme God,it is Him. Of course,I believe in all Hindu gods and have idols.
    But the point I am trying to say is please stop searching on basis of beliefs. Look for a genuine person who although may pray to a different God,gives you freedom to do whatever you want. We need to compromise on some trivial things and look at a bigger picture. Seriously,Garlic??!! Please dont tell me that garlic was an issue in your previous marriage. Or do you intend to find a partner who does not eat garlic? It is the 21st century. Look for an openminded person and be openminded yourself. Otherwise life will be very tough.
     
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  6. ivlakshmi

    ivlakshmi Platinum IL'ite

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    Hi ,
    Rose - I never told garlic was an issue. I was just asking about lifestyle here.. Just because my marriage broke off u dont have any authority in commenting like this. Every body have their own life style and habits. Every body have their own problems either today or tomorrow.
     
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  7. SriVidya75

    SriVidya75 Platinum IL'ite

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    Lakshmi

    First of all find a guy who is interested in you....then figure out what are his interests...share info bout each other..and see what you can/cannot live with....and then proceed with asking more questions on his families traditions/customs /cookingstyle etc....

    Do not worry about all this and get tensed up...if a guy is interested in you...he will make it happen!!! (remember the word from He is just not that into you movie??!!!)...if a guy is interested, he would also take that extra step to make the marriage happen....

    so be cool and be yourself...and look for a partner...good luck.
     
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  8. blackbeauty84

    blackbeauty84 IL Hall of Fame

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    ivlakshmi,
    I beleive your last marriage was with Iyengar. Did he keep you happy? No, then why you are restricting with the castes and other things. Is there any parental or family pressure to marry only with in Brahmin Community? You need someone good as your partner here, caste, religion should not be a filter here. I think you should further broaden up the search.

    All marriages, especially second marriages require lot of adjustments. Considering all other aspects poojas and way of worship should be the last thing that you should bother.
     
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  9. 1Sandhya

    1Sandhya Platinum IL'ite

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    Lakshmi,

    I think you are overanalyzing this. Dont stress out about this so much. Yes, food habits and cultural traditions are important but not the be all and end all. You will find many many people who have these exact qualifications on paper, no garlic, iyengar, venkateshwara devotees but you may have nothing else in common with them. I think maybe you are swinging to other extreme? FYI I am a vaidika brahmin but we worship Lord Venkateshwara and dont use garlic in our traditional cooking. Maybe its because I am a telugu, all telugus have a great belief in him whether they are shaivites or vaishnavites.
     
  10. raji2678

    raji2678 Gold IL'ite

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    Almost all Iyers worship Vishnu as well!
     
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