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Regarding A Match.posting It Here As This Forum Is Most Active

Discussion in 'Married Life' started by nolife, Apr 21, 2017 at 5:59 PM.

  1. nolife

    nolife Bronze IL'ite

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    Hi,
    I am a divorcee and got a match of Dubai boy (born and brought up there) about 6months back via some known person in whatsapp which has his email and parents mail id as well. That time I have directly mailed him:
    Me:
    Hello sir,
    I have got your Id from matrimonial. Please let us know if you have got the divorce papers.

    Here is his reply:
    Hello,
    May i know from where have you picked up our details from? I am putting CC of my parents email ids please coordinate with them further.


    I found his reply little rude and found him way too dependent on his parents and did not reply or proceed further.
    Now I got the same match from my relatives who stay in Abu dabi and they say that it is very good family and boy is very good. They have asked us to consider. My dad has also asked me to consider this match.
    On FB I found that there is one common friend and I asked her to enquire or get some more details from him but however she also told me that he was her school mate and got in touch with him during Mtech time and they are from good family and boy is good looking and a nice guy. Their fb chat is making me doubtful. Here are details:

    My friend: Good that you are back to routine . You have lot of patience
    The guy: Don't want any appreciation or sympathy. Ive told this as you have asked about her several times.
    My Friend: I never meant sympathy. sorry if you are hurt. Lets leave it
    The guy: It's ok Just don't want the discussion to go on ..That's it.


    Guys...I found him little rude with above chat. Please advice if I am over thinking wrong about his anger issues. Should I meet him ?




     
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  2. ashneys

    ashneys Senior IL'ite

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    Looking at the msgs, it looks like he is uncomfortable talking abt his divorce. Bcoz both ur msg n ur friend's msg focuses on that n he's avoiding it. Wanting to avoid a bad memory may seem rude even wen they r not. The guy n his family has such good rapport with so many ppl. So they should atleast be half as decent even from a negative perspective. If u stil hav ur doubts, but ur family wants to proceed, make sure d wedding date is fixed after a minimum of 6 months. Mean while use all d time in between to meet him n get to know him urself. N then decide if he is rite for u.
    Key point here being: meet d person n talk n spend some time (atleast a few months) n den decide. For all u know, U may like him n him, u. ;) Good luck!
     
    nolife, Amica and NeetaR like this.
  3. digezt

    digezt Senior IL'ite

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    Hello sir,
    I have got your Id from matrimonial. Please let us know if you have got the divorce papers.

    Do you think the above makes pleasant reading....
     
  4. Sangeeta85

    Sangeeta85 Bronze IL'ite

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    Hi ,as @digezt said do U sound good.. the way u have asked u got the same reply back ..
    It's no harm to meet the boy talk to him freely.. all issues some with anger some love some work so give him a chance which will also be a chance for u..
     
  5. Rihana

    Rihana Moderator Staff Member IL Hall of Fame

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    His chat with your friend is not rude. It is how people talk about something they don't want to talk about. Said something about it briefly and then said "don't want this discussion to go on".

    His message to you - such tone is to be expected in such communications. Maybe they are going about the search with parents being the first line of contact so as to filter out prospective matches a bit.

    Since so many people who know you have recommended this guy, it is worth pursuing.
     
    nolife, Shina, guesshoo and 2 others like this.
  6. Shanvy

    Shanvy IL Hall of Fame

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    @nolife just imagine if it was him asking you out of the blue about the details of your divorce. Once bitten twice shy applies apt. You would also react the same way. I would do the same i suppose.

    And certain details are personal and i would not talk with a friend or classmate who catches up with me later and is more inquisitive about my ex..

    When he comes higly recommended maybe you should check out if it feels the same after talking to him. Maybe start fresh!!

    All the best.
     
    nolife, Amica, poovai and 1 other person like this.
  7. BhumiBabe

    BhumiBabe Silver IL'ite

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    Honestly, I found your message and your friend's messages to this guy, to be rude. Clearly this is a sensitive subject, so I can't imagine anyone who would be sweet and kind in response. At least he was professional, and conveyed that you should contact his family for that type of details, if you are interested.

    Since he has a good family background and people to vouch for him, I don't see any harm in meeting him and getting to know him. You never know if it will work out, unless you give him a chance. Good Luck!

    P.S. I would actually be more concerned about someone ready to share their divorce details to a prospective alliance.
     
    nolife, NeetaR and poovai like this.
  8. silentlistener

    silentlistener Bronze IL'ite

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    It will be a gross mistake to judge a person how rude or otherwise he is , from just a chat history
     
    nolife likes this.
  9. DDream

    DDream Silver IL'ite

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    If you think the guy is a good match in all other aspects and if your family think so , you should consider meeting him in person. Please don't judge based on mails or chats as that can be deceiving. It is always better to meet and talk to a person without any prejudices. See how it is going. Anyway inquire well before taking a decision.
     
    nolife likes this.
  10. Amica

    Amica IL Hall of Fame

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    Uh oh! Your message, as well as your friend's chat, both sound extremely intrusive. His response is courteous, IMHO.

    Pause and think about it. If a random stranger were to message you and ask about your divorce, how would you react?

    Remember that while you are judging him, you are also being judged. It is just as important to make a good impression as it is to make sure he meets your criteria.

    What next? He doesn't want to hear directly from you. Either have your parents contact his, or move on.

    Good luck, @nolife.
    .
     
    nolife likes this.

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