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Really Need To Help A Friend?should I Involve?

Discussion in 'General Discussions' started by anika987, Jan 15, 2019.

  1. anika987

    anika987 IL Hall of Fame

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    One of my good friend is back in India.Know her for many years.She is single now and a mom.I have return some posts about her previously.

    She started getting into physical relationships and initially was indifferent to it but now I feel it has gone overboard.She has the habit of telling me and I always advised her to be careful and passively mention that she is from a lovely family and a mom so that she will stop.Now it has become an addiction I feel.The number of guys she has been with ..well feeling upset to say this has crossed a lot.

    She called me today and was in pride about her next conquest.I feel very disturbed.She is basically super fun,a nice person and is lovable but her dark side disturbs me a lot and I feel so guilty that am not doing anything about it.


    Maybe it’s not my problem but someone who I like so much is spoiling her respect and name spreads very fast too..don’t want her to get into any problem

    Should I bluntly tell her about what she is doing or just let it go?
     
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  2. harithab

    harithab Senior IL'ite

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    Anika,

    The lady whom you are worried about , still being your friend and she still contacts you, I feel you can take an initiative to talk to her openly as she is not only single but a mom too. Your friend may be searching for a soulmate but forced into some physical relationships ? I feel it would be best if you can talk to her openly considering her privacy too,ask your friend to focus on her kid who is growing up watching his/her single mom. Single mom doesnt mean she cannot enjoy her life, but there are some restrictions based on the current scenario and our own culture. Hope your friend leads a straight forward life soon for the well being of her kid.

     
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  3. rachaputi

    rachaputi Platinum IL'ite

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    You could have done it long back. I don't see any reason to not advice.
     
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  4. anika987

    anika987 IL Hall of Fame

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    I did it many times but she did not take
    It seriously.

    That’s why I don’t know if I should be strong about it..

    One thing that stopped me is last time she told me bluntly “ are you jealous”

    Seriously? That hurt.

    I wanted to keep away from advising but feel
    Torn
     
  5. anika987

    anika987 IL Hall of Fame

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    She is not forced from what she says..

    She thinks getting physical is a way to
    Attract men but they just string her along.

    Also she feels that she is an attractive women coz men fall for her..something and all she keeps saying.

    I told her Her name will get spoiled very fast and it will affect her child too..
    She doesn’t seem to listen

    How does one even put sense in her

    I feel bad for her child and her parents
     
  6. rachaputi

    rachaputi Platinum IL'ite

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    @anika987 she had given her answer already..

    She is not inthe position to listen someone's advice. She welcomed that trap buddy.. :facepalm:

    Can you bare if ihe asks you again "jealous"? I suggest you to just Relaxx and have a sound sleep.
     
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  7. Sunshine04

    Sunshine04 Platinum IL'ite

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    Just caution her about STDs, aids.
     
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  8. harithab

    harithab Senior IL'ite

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    Anika,

    As her friend, try once to talk to her openly. You avoid her bad talking related to her switching relationships !! Just say you dont want to listen such things !!
    As a good friend much concerned for her, may be you can help her get some counselling ; just giving a try , if she can save herself and the future of her kid.

    If she is still not ready to change her behavior, you better slowly get back from your friendship. I feel you do not need to take unnecessary mental stress & waste your precious time on this.
    Her parents will surely know about this once. Your friend is also a mature woman. Let her decide how her life should go forward. May God bless your friend to think positively.



     
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  9. anika987

    anika987 IL Hall of Fame

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    I hope her parents do not come to know....it is very scary to even think..

    I am just going to take a step back.

    I wish god changes her mind somehow and she comes back To the real world
     
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  10. kavikuyil

    kavikuyil Senior IL'ite

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    Good idea! You've made your point. You did your responsibility as a good friend. There's nothing more you can / should do. She's not your child. She's an adult who can make her own decisions and face the consequences.
     
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