Really depressed

I want a real normal peaceful life. Even with some magic if he changes there are megre chance that I would change. I dont have any respect for him now. No trust at all. Yes of course I am still attached to him. Yes he do have some attitude issues and anger things but i was adjusted to that. When he used to shout i used to keep quite and vice versa...so we were almost adjusted to each other. We had very good relation minus his mom. All of sudden he realised that he is giving more importance to me than to his mom. Per him his mom went thro alot in her married life (his mom-dad were seperate for a year) so he wants to keep his mom happy (at any cost)...i was proud of this but not at the cost of my peace and respect. His mom is so much pampered and thinks that she can do unacceptable things to me and i have to adjust. So its his too much love for his mom that made us seperate. I dont understand why he married.

Coming to me and my future. I always tried to save this relation at any cost. Now i am tired and dont see any future with him. For him its not possible to leave his mom and for me its not possible to live again with her taking all her bullism again.

Remarriage- First I have to come out of him ie divorce. Need to prepare my mind to get attached to other guy in future. I will consider remarriage only if the guy accepts my kid as his own and of course I dont any reservation to consider his kid as mine. Time has to decide if i go for remarriage or not.

I will wait for him if atleast he calls and say politely that I have xyz reason and wait for me and he come and visit us time to time then of course I will wait. I am thankful for him for not giving such false promises and making me fool again.
Reasons for not waiting- 1.person who can leave his wife and 4 days old kid in hospital. I dont feel living with such kind of idiots and monsters. How come one becomes so inhuman to his wife and kid listening to their parents.
2.person who ask money from wife for feeding wife and kid. I dont feel him to love him. I know he is not money oriented. He used to buy clothes from road side shopkeepers and used to get me from malls and big shops. why he has to change listening to his mom? Why he dont have money even to feed me.
3.Person who loved my niece, clean bathroom himself as i was pregnant(even when problems started btw us)....says that this kid not his own!!!

Enough of me giving reasons that he is ok...but just listening to his mom and behaving monster. This is height of everything. I consider that this is high time to leave him and look for better life. Why i shd suffer whole life?
I guess my kid can get better dad than this biological father.

First I want to get strength to think of future without him so that I can progress in my career, want to excel in career, want to stabilise financially and of course remarry to a good guy who will consider my kid as his and to make that monster MIL and idiot H realise that whatever she did, ruined her own son's life...I am always better off. And I got nice Husband.

Pray for me.

 

No she is not. They are looking for her. Of course they have high expectation than our strength. As in groom shd be only kid in family, nuclear family, settled abroad, shd have house in his name, car, IL shd visit only once in while, no financial commitements, modern, broad minded blahh blahh....they are ready to give huge dowry too. When I was there they were thinking giving 80pawns of gold and other furnittures but they didnt possessed any gold for her even a year back. Apart from this commitement his dad told that he is having lot of loan and never disclosed amount. It was very clear that he never had any loan just wanted to secure themselves by accumulating money thinking that I will not allow my H to spend on them. Their huge insurity costed lot of confusions, misunderstandings and blamings and now nearing to divorce.

 

I guess he lost his mind by not expressing his true feelings. To avoid guilt he is trying running from truth. He just want to show off that he is correct and trying blaming me. But he is facing lot of questions abt kid. Nobody is mad to accept whatever he says esp when this kid is resembles him only.

 

Thanks all for responding on my problem.

As I said I tried and tested all formulas to change him. I too have some self-respect and respect for my kid. I have decided to move on.

Even if he feels guilty someday ..there is little chance that i would accept him. Because of no reason he doubted me that too with brother (cousin), and his mom and all other relatives fuled him more ....i dont trust him anymore. By this time he would have visited some s**ts too...why shd i compromise that too for this kind of husband who showed his back in most needed situation.

Thanks alot sri, flowerlady, Tugga, ivlakshmi for giving me your virtual shoulders and soothing words whenever i need.

 

Thanks @young@heart.