Really depressed

There is no question of I deciding. He himself will decide what i need to do. He has set of inhuman conditions to live with him like not to have relation with my relatives including parents, no job, no money, no access to outside world including no internet, no mobile, cook, serve, say yes to all crap including if he asks that i slept with my bro ( yes thats true, he suspects with my cousin bro), but i shd not suspect with him even after looking at his chat history with his female frnds (some girl liked him, he made run her behind him till the date of our marriage). Practically thats not possible. But he say if you love me nothing is impossible what for your need these things.

Only good thing he has is if he love somebody he choose to ignore their crime too. Yes he did tried showed unconditional love to me but never showed infront of his mom. Bad thing is if he dont like somebody he would do anything put the person down.

 

I have tried and tested all formulas love, compromise, even sacrifice, talks, fight...everything possible which can be done but more i adjut more he gets into comfort zone and want more sacrifices from me. I am not supposed to talk too its just he will dictate. I thought he would have changed a bit but he was same even after a year.Same kind of attitude, same bad words and says he loves me!!???$#

 

Yes of course i thought he loved me. HIs mom was super controlling person. Inside our room he will promise to have peaceful life with me and staying in diff house after sometime. But that "sometime" never came. His mom never allowed us to move to other house. I used to cook and clean but she always complained about me and nag infront of all about this. WHen he saw him not talking anything in support of me or atleast to stop put allegation on me, i had to start answer back, which they never liked.

There are many things where he should have raised his voice to make his mom understand but he never did.

1. Frequent visits to my mom's place-He never liked to stay away from me but his family always tried to find reasons to make me stay away from H. MIL will ask me to go to my mom's place for xyz reason and call my mom to take me for a or two for xyz reason. Though i used to fight with him as i never liked going unnecessarily but just to satisfy his mom he convince me. Then in a day or two call over to fight with me why you went cant you say i wont go. He dont have guts to talk against his mom rather expects me and my mom to go against his mom.
2.Finance matter-MIL-FIL made sure that we are left with nothing at the end of the month. Though H had good salary. ILs told that they have some debts..H asked for the amt so that we can close once for all by taking some personal loan. Per H they never told. I dont know if ILs are liers or H is also involved. Moreover they asked me to give my salary and of course not to ask wht they do with it. For this also i used to fight with H....of course i was talking infront of deaf and dumb. I lost job in few months of wedding their attitude changed.
3. Possessive and obsession- He was so much possessive...I dont call it possessive if he thinks good looking wife is threat to his marriage. He was always all around me. He never liked me talking to others. I shd talk only to him. I guess i couldnt managed it well. I stop searching for job when i thought of this attitude of him. I thought we shd develop trust first, he shd get over this insecurity than it is good for me to go for job. Which irked ILs. Here one H was happy as i was SECURED at home but when he round of talks with his parents he would ask me to again look for job. And i knew what if i would go for job!! I discussed with him, he understood but he never had guts to say to his parents that she wont go for job for a while.

So it was Love without protect and trust and I realise now it was never love but fake for s** and MONEY.

 

Thanks Shruthi for your encouraging words.

I have decided to move on in life without thinking of this guy. He is no more liveable.

 

Thanks viswa for your prayers for me. Its really gives me positive vibes thinking somebody praying for me.
Thanks alot.

 

Tried with relatives...even with their lawyer ( who is fighting case for their property issue with his uncles and grand pa for ages). His Parents acting smart telling we dont have any issue with DIL and kid we want them to live happily with son. When Lawyer said that let husband-wife deal the issue in privacy instead infront of anybody...then they have their own reasons like waiting for DD to get married, son dont want to live seperate with us (i know its his mom who is telling this...and H trying protecting them n jsut saying yes because when i spoke to him before that he told that after his sis wedding we will live seperate from parents).

Yes he and his family have mastered in being manipulative because FIL fighting lot of cases against his own dad , his brothers and MIL not having relation with his own brother for he lost 50k in his business ( for that this lady made him sell his house just for 50k not waiting for even a month) and was not in talking terms with her mom for 7yrs. When these ppl does to their own brothers and parents and change statements...i just cant belv their sugar coated words for me.