Rant 1 : In search of reasons..

Shanvy · Apr 30, 2011

(A rant series to vent the frustrations and the irritations on what is happening around)

Lakshmi, came in late, not a usual routine for my maid you see, either she will be on time or not come, there is no midway for her.

Ma, can you give me two idli’s or your soft curd rice, she asked. I was surprised. I asked why what happened; you did not have any breakfast. it acted as the catalyst, and she started sniffling. And out came this story.

M (her distant relative), used to live in her area, sold her 2 ground of property 8 years back and bought some property and also built a big house after her husband passed away. With two kids, a son and a daughter she moved to the other place which is also near by. 4 years back she married off her daughter to a man who works for the military and also gave a house as dowry. The son has two lorries that run and has a very much flourishing and is married too.

Yesterday M was found in a bus stop near to the place where Lakshmi stays. M was dehydrated, running a high temperature and did not recognize lot of things. Well there has been a lot of changes in the 8 years. After asking around, it came into light that some guy bought her in his lorry and left her there.

M’s son had dropped her off at this place and did not want her to come back to his/his sister’s place. Somebody came and told Lakshmi, that M is lying on the roadside, and she went and brought her to her place( oh, she is a good Samaritan as far as her people are concerned.) and thus the request for the idli and curd rice.

After explaining the reason, lakshmi started crying. Ma, even if the son was bad I can understand, the daughter after taking all the jewels from M, she also pushed her out of the house it seems. Does it mean that when money comes into the equation relationships do not have the value of even a dime. If this is how people treat M, what will happen to me, the day I fall sick. I seriously did not have an answer to her question do you?? (at that moment, I felt maybe the government’s idea of the domestic bill was right)

With a heavy heart I packed off curd rice and oats kanji for M. Later when I told Dh about this, he said, did you not read times of India, there is a similar story today..
Gurgaon techie drives mother, sister out of home - The Times of India, and my heart has become more heavier reading this too.

I don’t, say this is new, or that I have never seen something similar happening, but the frequency of these incidents is what hurts me.

What is the reason for all this, is it our priorities have changed, or our greed, or is it our selfishness..

I still wish to believe Gandhiji when he said “You must not lose faith in humanity. Humanity is an ocean; if a few drops of the ocean are dirty, the ocean does not become dirty.” View attachment 130413

What do you think could be the reasons..??

sojourner · Apr 30, 2011

> I work at
> being a better human

I got a chuckle out of the above on your About page

> What do you think could be the reasons..??

Each situation is different. It is hard to guess the reasons without knowing the facts.

Nobody can put themselves in someone's else's shows. I see an ocean of difference between me and my younger brothers. Even though we are from the same family, we were raised different (not intentionally). If a daughter in law is involved, she may have no clue as to the expectations on the son or vice versa.

People also became greedier when their economic situation changes a lot for the better -- this is only a general rule.

SARASVADIVU · Apr 30, 2011

Hello shanvy,

Driving out the woman who nurtured him in her womb..is really horrible to digest:rant

Probably the reason in such cases is money/power; with money coming to the fore..relations take a back-seat..WHY CAN'T GOD TURN SUCH CREATURES INTO ANIMALS??
It's a shame on humanity and the address of 'kaliyuga' perhaps!!!!

Cheers,

Saras

varalotti · May 1, 2011

Seeds for this was thrown when we moved from a joint family system to that of a nuclear family. In a joint family sharing what you have is the only means of survival and harmonious living. In a nuclear family and that too with the present day affluence people do have a lot. And want everything for themselves.

They look at old parents only as nuisance and an interruption to their enjoyment, forgetting for a moment that a day is not far off where they will be in the same stage.

The only way it can be corrected is to teach our children by example. To make them believe that enjoying life is nothing but helping others. Happiness is not having everything but sharing whatever we have.

Recently a doctor admitted his 70 year old father in a corporate hospital in Madurai where his close friend was working. The old man's end was near. And the son was preparing for a grand funeral after which he had planned to go the US. But as fate would have it the Doctors attending on the old man found a break-through as a result of which he was saved. Now he had more than ten years to live provided they followed a particular treatment which was not expensive.
The son, the ungrateful idiot, got his father discharged, admitted him in some smaller private hospital, changed the treatment so drastically that the old man died in a few days. A grand funeral was performed and the son happily left for the US.
His friend in the corporate hospital came to know of this and broke his friendship.

That was an eye-opener, Shanthi. But even then it can't open the eyes which are pretending to sleep.
sridhar

sreemanavaneeth · May 1, 2011

Hai,
when money comes into the equation relationships do not have the value of even a dime.

very tryuly said. evrrything surrounded arounded Money only. very nice write up shanvy.

ILoveTulips · May 1, 2011

No matter what people says Money really does plays major part in relationships husband-wife; parents-kids ; the situation might differ... People who talked less of money, when put in such situations, really forget everything and take play a big role in sinking the relationship... where they just spend few minutes to think whats the cause of the problem?

The other way to think is, Money is just the form - of Ego, Pride, Status...

ilt

Shanvy · May 3, 2011

sojourner;bt59698 said:

> I work at
> being a better human

I got a chuckle out of the above on your About page
Click to expand...

I work at being a better human every day sojourner. and that is what is mentioned in my About me i hope there is nothing wrong. i believe, i can tell my kids to work at it only when i do it. i am staunch follower of practice before you preach..

> What do you think could be the reasons..??

Each situation is different. It is hard to guess the reasons without knowing the facts.
Click to expand...

I understand that each situation is different and to guess at reasons is not going to help, but still wanting to understand.

Nobody can put themselves in someone's else's shows. I see an ocean of difference between me and my younger brothers
Click to expand...

. I can understand what you are conveying. i do not want to talk about siblings, but i know no two people are same. there is a ocean of difference between by daughter and son in every thing.

Even though we are from the same family, we were raised different (not intentionally)
Click to expand...

.
I understand that being the elder, you would have been asked to shoulder extra responsiblity. i have read your post,though i have not commented on it. i feel that as parents, we tend to do it without realising it. well i will leave that for another day.

If a daughter in law is involved, she may have no clue as to the expectations on the son or vice versa.
Click to expand...

so true. the expectations are expected to be understood without any open discussions. you are expected to understand everything that happens in the place and act accordingly. a preparatory course based on facts and data of the family you are going to get married to will help??? or are we too shrewd to show only facets that we want others to see??

People also became greedier when their economic situation changes a lot for the better -- this is only a general rule.
Click to expand...

YEs. greed plays a greater role here. but my search for reason was not about the why they did not live together or why they treated them this bad.

my question is simple which i will come back to later.

sojourner · May 3, 2011

Shanvy:

> I work at being a better human every day sojourner. and that is what is mentioned in my About me i hope there is nothing wrong.

The "I work at" section under "About me" is intended to mention one's place of work. I thought that you were making an intentional joke by not mentioning the place of work but mentioning something else. That's why I chuckled. Clearly, you were not making an intentional joke.

rgsrinivasan · May 3, 2011

Very heavy to read and see that this is happening too frequently these days. The only thing that we can do is, not to be ungrateful. Thanks for sharing, Shanvy. -rgs

Shanvy · May 8, 2011

SARASVADIVU;bt59699 said:

Hello shanvy,

Driving out the woman who nurtured him in her womb..is really horrible to digest:rant

Probably the reason in such cases is money/power; with money coming to the fore..relations take a back-seat..WHY CAN'T GOD TURN SUCH CREATURES INTO ANIMALS??
It's a shame on humanity and the address of 'kaliyuga' perhaps!!!!

Cheers,

Saras
Click to expand...

Saras,

today i hear the term kaliyuga a lot. are we looking at this as an excuse for a lot of things is my worry.

The lady does not even realise where her home is anymore. she has lost her marbles slowly owing to depression..

to each his reason, i am sure there will be other who say may be there is another side to the same story. but this is ofcourse inexcusable behaviour..

wish we are more humane.