Ramblings Of A Troubled Mind

Dear Op,

Please accept my virtual hugs to you. Good thing you never planned family with him.

You seems to be really stressed, which is obvious after going through 5 years of abuse.
I suggest you to take mutual divorce and take alimony from him.. Don't leave him. Coz you never know he might put a even worse allegation. It is always better to cut off rotten part before it spoils entire body. Throw him, wipe him off from your life.

Move out of city/ country, be with good friends/ positive people. You don't have to disclose that you were married ever.

Don't waste your another 30-40 year for this bad 5years. Life is too big to think about such losers. Lets go in flow. Don't worry everything will be alright.

love
omnam

 

Dear Omnan,
Your efforts in terms of providing solace/motivation seem disturbing. Why are you suggesting here that OP's husband could put serious allegations on her? What kind of allegations?
In addition, why on earth she should flee or hide her past when she has come out as a survivor and so gracefully victorious.

 

She has mentioned that she doesnt want to get tagged as divorcee.

And i really dont understand why someone would feel victorious of broken rrelationship. No need of bragging that you had fought out of abusive relationship. Whats the point you are going to make to people around you. This will never gonna help. Are we looking for sympathy!? NO...Are you gonna put this struggle in your resume to showcase ur strength? NO. How about your arguement with anyone is confused to be reason of your divorce.
Moving out of city always helps in quick healing...you dont have sympathetic faces around you. Not telling people about your marital status meaning that you don't have to tell your neighbourhood or any random person in office.
It is very easy to say to proud of your divorce. Its not a medal for some accomplishment. Neither You carry any medals saying You know what i m proud. You will always find a person poking on your marital status and your past random behaviour to be reason of marriage.
Does any top level person in company brags of his divorce? Dont they go thro this? Narayan murthy son got married in big event it came in newspaper but when he got divorced in same year ...did any newspaper mentioned for days!?

 

Please check on the legalities of not responding on such notices. If you have given them dowry or any of your jewelry or anything...please get it back. Don't live in mode of denial saying you are already mentally divorced long time...coz court of law will not accept such things. By not responding on legal notices will add brownie points to him. Either go and say you do not want divorce or just agree to it. But at least respond. You would get peace of mind and clarity in life when you are divorced legally completely.

Please go for counseling and legal advise too.

 

Nowhere in her post she is bragging of her status neither does she intent do.No, she is not going to get any medals in her professional career because of her personal status but she might get a lot of professional laurels because she could one fine day come out of personal miserable state and think for her own self & focus on her career.

 

I never mentioned about OP wants to brag of her divorce status. I wrote she mentioned she dont want to tagged as divorcee. Since you had quoted my earlier response...it was response for you. Please read your post quoting my first post and then my second post.
Anyways i m really not interested to having an one on one with anyone but trying to help OP here.
I don't see OP is actually responding to her own post.
I m interested to answer anyone else until OP require it.

 

Much needed thought for me right now! Many many thanks. I can see where my life would be down the lane in few years if I'm going to continue with my marriage. Thanks for writing this up, it really helps me to think on my situation now.