Quid Pro Quo With The Gods

On Sales

Is that half a camera and one ear pod with 55% discount? I am dubious of such generosity in sales campaigns. Branded items at 70% discount used to be a rage back in the 90s. You won't recognise any of those international brands. Once I had been to a firesale. I found forlorn Dutch and Romanian and Philippine brands. Names I never heard of. Even today, I am not much into branded apparel or sales. Moreover, today, everything is made in China so I can still claim the clothes in my wardrobe are international, as in Chinese.

Even the King of the soft drinks Coca Cola started as a concoction at 5 cents a glass to cure stomach cramps, headaches, impotency and marketed as a cure-all drink by the pharmacist John Pemberton. It was a soft drink because there was no alcohol, a fizzy concoction designed with inspiration from coca wine and kola nuts. Who would have thought a century later a six-pack model would market it as a youthful drink that was once used as a medicinal cure for rogue ailments.

Yes, I remember those soda-pops. They come in two flavours: salty and sweet. Are they still found in Chennai or elsewhere in India? Earlier, they used to be driven in a cart and sold to thirsty passerbys. People would infact carry loose change to buy such drinks on the road side. I used to love that sweet flavoured soda! That belch would have been like a bellow from an ice mountain.

 

On Gold

I had only an inkling but not a thorough inventory that now I gained on your mention by going and reading all the various articles on Royal Temple of Padmanabhaswamy. First, I had to start with the Royal Travancore Family who amassed the wealth, richer than the Rothschild and Rockefeller families. Then my eyes fell out on reading the treasure trove stashed in the vaults. The gold, silver, diamonds, rubies, sapphire, even the Simsim cave in Ali baba story is pale in comparison. I wonder what is beyond the yet unopened vault B.

 

On Forecasts

Working life backwards is no fun to people like us but to the restless souls who cannot wait for the climax, it is like living the episodes of the American television series Colombo. Unlike other detective series, this one opens with a murderer slaying a victim. The murderer's face and identity are bared! This is a unique show where the detective then works backwards to fathom why it happens rather than who made it happen. I found it a novelty when I watched for the first time.

Back to forecast. It is a lucrative business. I wish to retire to India and set up a forecast office (strictly by appointments) with Bollywood as my clientele. Here is my pricing chart.

₹ 5000 — Moon is too close to you. I have to push it afar.
₹ 10,000 — Sun is too far. I have to bring it closer.
₹ 20,000 — To fix the disobedient stars.
₹ 30,000 — To fix the unsteady planets.
₹ 50,000 — A rogue comet in Oort cloud is causing mayhem in your life. This is a challenging task but don't worry I can fix it.

People who have the riches can only afford such flim-flam and people who seek quick money can only dispense such celestial antidotes. It is a win-win! One day if our QPQ enterprise fizzles out, we shall set up a tent and ramble away nonsensical forecasts.

 

On Spelling

You might enjoy this.

Allen Shields, an American mathematician, like to play with words. His letters were spiced with all sorts of intentional and outrageous distortions. A Banache spave was sometimes called a Bone Ache space. A proposed course in measure theory with modest prerequisites became a course on the LaVague integral. One page of a manuscript sent to Peter Duren contained a sentence that read "Without loss of genitalia, we may assume..." When asked why he wrote such things, Shields said that he was just checking if anyone was reading them.

They say, Shakespeare has coined many words. How many deliberate ploys and spelling mistakes have we taken for new words?

 

On Remakes

When I browse the "misc" selection in streaming networks, I come across amusing Mexican or Puerto Rican films with scary but funny English titles. There is always a damsel running away from a Bigfoot monster in the promotional poster. The damsel is in a skimpy thong that barely saves her modesty. I am curious, who are the targeted audience for these dubbed movies. The natives would have seen and enjoyed those screams and skimpy thongs in original language. The dubbing looks like it has been catered for other "niche" audience across the globe who don't want to miss out on the havoc wreaked by Bigfoot lusting for an under-clothed lady.

 

On confusion

That sprouted from my nonsensical brain.

 

On scent

Our discussion on mouse is timely. Google published two doodles yesterday to honour Spring Equinox in the southern hemisphere and Fall Equinox in the northern hemisphere. The animation had a scurrying mouse preparing for the onset of Spring and Fall. No wonder with such confusion, our mouse has taken to coffee instead of cheese. Though next year it might again get confused between Cappuccino, Latte and Espresso.

 

On Hair

Hair and that too gigantic proportions reminds of the Seven Sutherland Sisters.

In the late 1800s, seven sisters living near Niagara Falls in upstate New York used their unusual hairdos to become famous and tour the world. They appeared at dime museums, in P.T. Barnum’s circus sideshows, and even at world’s fairs.A handbill for one of their appearances called the sisters—Sarah, Victoria, Isabella, Grace, Naomi, Dora, and Mary—the “7 Wonders of the world! 7 Accomplished musicians!





We have you as the eighth wonder in tow now. My hair is shedding like a moulting cat. I doubt I can hold on to it for much longer. I am getting as many pictures of mine taken while the peach fuzz is still on the head. A running joke between my siblings is that we should start collecting wigs from bargain sales and make space in the wardrobe for this vital accessory. It won't remain a joke for long.

 

On Thalapathi

Have you noticed, there are several modern adaptations of stories from Mahabharata but only a few from other equally popular Indian epic Ramayana.

Why does Mahabharata lend itself well to modern adaptations? Every scheming uncle in a feudal movie has inherited the craft from Shakuni. Every confused man torn between duty and personal interest has inherited from Yudhister. Every misunderstood man fighting for his rights has a shade of Duryodhan. All friends who sacrifice themselves for their loyalty are flag bearers of Karna. I feel Ramayana is too unprovocative for modern adaptations whereas Mahabharata still reigns supreme for the portrayal of its wilful characters.