Questions About 504 Plan

From personal experience pediatrician’s role kind of gets over after a diagnosis. They have no idea about the types of therapies and support out there unless it’s a developmental pediatrician. The school psycologist who will be involoved in the 504 meetings and evals is a better person to give you some inputs. I also recommend a private psycologist who has experience with kids having difficulties in the school settings. Both will conduct a few tests before recommending something. They will look at his strengths and his deficits and give you a comprehensive picture of his personality.

The complaints are their way of asking you to take some action. Don’t take it personally. There are parents who live in denial and the children have a hard time at school. Teachers have to deal with all kinds of parents. They probably want you to get him the help but legally they aren’t allowed to tell you that. Instead they make observations about his school day and hope you will help him get the support he needs.

Don’t forget the positives. I’ve always looked at my son’s deficits and he has amazing splinter skills that we haven’t encouraged or taken advantage of fully. When everyone is looking at filling the gaps, it’s easy to forget their strengths. As a mother, I have to keep telling myself to also look at his strengths. I brag often on FB. People are probably pissed but from the comments of fellow moms who are in the situation I get so much of positivity. Small things like that make it easy for me to look at the whole child and not just the deficits.

 

Sorry my bad. I thought you had the diagnosis documents and recommendation for 504 already.

It is unfortunately long waits. It’s worth seeing one for they are supposed to stay on top of latest therapies and interventions out there and may have the best suggestions.

It’s hard to be patient but I try to remind myself that it’s not me but him. I don’t have delays he does. He’s impacted the most by his disability and not me. I shouldn’t be punishing him for his disability but helping him achieve his full potential. I worry though. I think my body has aged fifteen years in the past four years but hopefully he will be ok.

He’s already normal. He doesn’t have major issues. You aren’t looking at a major debilitating disability. He will be ok with help. There are a lot of people like him who went and got educated, hold down jobs, have families and are productive members of the society. Believe in him. I tell myself often to not give up on my son. I am his voice and his advocate. I’ll tell you the same. You are all he has. Advocate for him.

I’m glad to be of some help and there is no trouble at all. I have troubled people here with my worries when my son got initially diagnosed with autism. I fall often. I’m often upset but I try to get help from other moms and the ladies here have never failed me. Sometimes you need all the help you can get.

Take care of yourself. Take breaks from your family and go do things for yourself. That will rejuvenate you. Caregiver burnout is very real. Don’t be too busy taking care of your son and forget about yourself, your marriage and your other kid. A happy mom is key. Try and give yourself a break. Forgive yourself often. Everything you are feeling is normal. You are grieving for the struggles your son is having. Just don’t let it impact him. Find ways to keep yourself happy.

 

Why legally they are not allowed to advise a parent that child might benefit from help or intervention? I thought often teachers are the ones to observe some behavior in child and mention it to parents, since teachers are more trained and they see many children of an age each year?