Question from 2nd or 3rd gen NRIs - do you consider yourself indian

Discussion in 'General Discussions' started by Priya4oct, Apr 24, 2014.

  1. Priya4oct

    Priya4oct Gold IL'ite

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    No offence means to any one. This is just out of curiocity , came in my mind while talking to my DH's friend's wife.

    Background about her - She is basically Tamil, born in Channai, moved to USA when she was 6 year old with family. Her family was here for around 16 years, she completed her education here and then her father decided to move back India as he was feeling USA culture is influencing his 2 daughters (that time one was 22 year and other was 18-19 I guess). Since son was doing his MS, he din't move back and now settled in USA.

    She got married to my DH's friend who is Tamil (now family is Settled in Gujrat) and works in USA from last 4 years. She said, she choose her DH, as she wanted to come back and settle in USA. As of now she is in H4 and wants her DH to file GC.

    Discussion - Last week we were watching a documentry with that couple about NRI kids. How NRI wants their kids to follow Indian culture and even do more rituals than Indians who stay in India. Just my DH asked her Ani (her nick name), what do you feel, is this true?

    She was 100% agree with what was shown in that documentry and narrated us about her teen hood and her NRI friends. How her parents wanted her to follow Indian culture and forced her to be away from American friends, pub, school trips, night life. She said, they wanted me to feel 'I Love India', but I donot love India. I never feel like Indian, I always felt like American. I am an indian but just for name shake. She said, Indian parents move to other countries and want their kids to be equally (or superior) that american kids. But they never want kids to be american. She said I never got freedom like american kids for what I was craving. I was bullied in school/college as I was never allowed to go outside with them, was never free to do whetever I wanted.
    She had very tough time to get adjusted in India. She was in India for 3 years before marriage and counted every single day though her younger sis got adjusted very well and very happy in her college.

    This was very long discussion which continued for whole night. We all were sort of agree what she said. We feel 'proud Indian' as we spent my most of the life there. My cousins love more thier current city (in India, other than native) as they are braught-up there . I love my native city , as I was braught up in that city.

    So just question to fellow Ilites who are 2nd or 3rd gen - do you really feel you are Indian (not for name shake).
     
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  2. DKI

    DKI Platinum IL'ite

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    I lived outside India from the time I was almost 5. Till the time I got married, except for a few years in India for college. But all through that time, I only yearned to go to india. Every time vacations came around I would beg my father to take us to India or atleast send me :)

    Now I am back abroad and still yearn to be back home.

    But, I have a son. And I know that even though he loves visiting India, he would never want to settle there. Forget India, we moved to Chicago from another town 3 years ago. Even today he says that he is from Bloomington and not Chicago. So I can't ever expect him to have the same kind of love for India.

    Yes, I teach him all the traditions and he follows them for the most part. But at the same time I know that he is more American than Indian, and I have to accept it and allow him to flourish in this culture.
     
    sindmani, Priya4oct and sheztheone like this.
  3. Priya4oct

    Priya4oct Gold IL'ite

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    Thanks DK1 for stepping in thread. I am really eager to hear from other Ilites too.
     
  4. sdiva20

    sdiva20 Platinum IL'ite

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    My daughter will be 8th generation American :) while she has Indian blood, she rightfully will be more American. It would be so wrong to expect her to be different from her friends when she is in school. Most Indian parents are worried that their kids will be too "Americanized" as if that is a bad thing. Most American kids in my neighborhood is so well behaved and polite but Indian parents automatically consider American bad and Indian good. It truly wrong for Indian parents to raise their kids in America and expect them to behave overtly Indian. That kind of behavior is just setting their child to be misfits in this country where they are living.

    When saying thing, I am not saying Indian kids growing up here should not have understanding and respect for Indian culture. Quite the contrary- only they should not taught all things American is bad.

    In my neighborhood, apart from me there are two other Indian families. The one family had two kids- one doing his undergrad and other is junior year in HS. The parents are very nice and unassuming and seems very Indian. But kudos to them that they have raised two children in a very white neighborhood to be very well brought-up, well-adjusted and mature kids. The older one is in a ivy league college and the younger one- girl- is even smarter than her brother and she is being highly recommended by a ivy league professor with whom she did a summer internship for Harvard and Penn. She is just not good in studies but very active in many school events and sports. Any parent regardless of ethnicity- when they can raise good children should consider themselves successful in all ways.
     
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