Purpose Of A Wife

I agree with you. Nothing wrong in that. In arranged marriage, even women are looking first at the groom's salary and financial status, then everything else. You may tell it in a polite language- like 'well-settled' guy from 'good background', etc but in the end money is needed to run a house and family. Nothing wrong in his thinking, but if he expects her to chip in equally with finances, but he should also be willing to give her exact equal priviledges at home, otherwise he is too cunning. It's all about being fair. If a guy is looking for an employed wife that's not something to look down upon, it becomes a problem when they want best of both worlds, like expecting her to shoulder equal responsibilities, but taking away equal priviledges (by priviledges I mean right to relax at home the same way he does after work instead of taking care of all the household chores by herself, right to ask for help in managing the house, right to help her FOO financially the same way he does) by citing culture/tradition and crap.Problem is with guys who want working woman and traditional homemaker in the same package, and on top of that they always want more from her parents. Such guys are disgusting.

 

It is not a unique problem. It is everyone's problem. Everyone has a bit of selfishness.
The women who expect a well settled guy in a respectful job doesn't openly say that she will be contributing equally at home front. Rather she will be happy if her well settled rich husband could hire some domestic helps to run the house hold chores. She would be happy if her rich husband could pay some dollars for a nanny or day care a few hrs a day, so that she could relax, go to gym or have some me time. At the end of the day, everyone expects their own comforts. But after having been living together, the love comes first. Then, they put their spouses first and find ways to help each other. They find ways to lessen each others burdens that way.

So, the guy here (or anywhere) with the expectation of a working wife to ease his financial burden is not wrong, even though he hasn't spoken anything about respecting his wife equally or not.
He may not think about it now.
Respect has to come naturally, and love makes all the difference.
But it is the girl's call to be assertive and demand for respect and equality in her marriage.
She can trade her well earning capacity to get some of the home works done by her H (or any paid worker), so that she can be equal to him in everything.
Sadly in a marriage market, some women chose to stay quit and nod their head with an ambition to win the good wife/good DIL card/title.
They are brought up that way. So, to win this, they are even ready to trade their self respect.
This is the entry point for all the problems in a marriage.

 

I will say one thing that such women are v.few.Majority of homemakers work very hard to take care of cooking,cleaning, kids etc, and it would be uncommon for homemaker to ask her husband to pay for daycare/nanny. Some guys are super-rich and their wives have this lifestyle(I've seen among my relatives), but not true fo the majority.

 

When you are comparing, you need to compare the right cases.

The home makers who are married to average/middle class husbands don't afford to ask for a nanny or domestic helpers. So, they work inside the house and be the equal partners.
But the home makers, who marry the super rich husbands can afford all the quality services including a nanny/day care etc, so that they could spend some time for themselves.

The men who demand for a working wife with equal salary are also very few. Not all the men demand for a wife with an equal salary as them.
Similarly, not all the women demand for a well settled/high professional spouse either.
But the ones who demand (there are plenty anyway) are selfish, but it is not wrong.
When they are self centered, it is less likely that they will think about their partner and their well being before they tie the knot. Perhaps, they can change after marriage, as love makes it happen.
But initially, it is all about "what I get" in this marriage, than "what I could offer" in an arranged set up.

 

Hi,

Its not about some guys are super rich to afford a life style for their wives, instead its the wives who have to guts to stand up for themselves.

New generation homemakers demand not only household help like maids for daily chores, cooking, Nanny for kids, also ensure their husband bear all their parents side family and self tantrums, and for maintaining peace and family harmony guys do give in. Yes the nos are less but its increasing day by day...

Hope to see our future generation situation will be far better than today....

 

Before everything else a wife is a person needed by a man to make his own family. Otherwise he would end up being alone. She is not for cooking or any other chores as your mother cannot do that now. She is for love and respect that she deserves by being a life partner as she takes part in all parts of your life. She is the investment of your old age when you will have no one around. You can make her do anything for you by just showing little love. She leaves everything just for that little love that you keep preserved for your parents or children and do not show it to your wife as you take her for granted.

 

Wow! I love the way you explain it...agree

 

Thanx

 

Are we really looking for our parent's advice on your personal lives, including marriage?
Aren't we adult enough to chose the way, in which we wanna lead our life, including marriage?
This is where the problem comes in young persons' lives. They seek advice from parents, and receive some generations old advice that their parents believed and followed. Can't blame the parents though. Because, they advice their kids on what they believe.
But we children are stuck between our own experiences, desires and our parents' advice.
Let's not expect any kind of advice from elders regarding our personal lives. Specially something very personal like marriage. Because the degrees of what is right and what is wrong varies between person to person. Everyone has a unique package to deal with it.
Let's face marriage with open mind, and let's get stuck there for a while until the reality strikes back. It is also an experience in life. After all, we should grow up before we raise our own children, right?