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Public show of affection

Discussion in 'Married Life' started by pooja, Mar 19, 2006.

  1. pooja

    pooja New IL'ite

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    Hi iLadies,

    One thing I find pretty distinctly different between our and western culture is this public show of affection. We routinely find that western couples kiss or hug each other in public. They mention "I love you" to each other more than thousand times a day. Every phone call between them end with, "Bye, I love you".

    Are Indian couples cataching on with the western trend as well? Are we out of place in a changing Indian culture? In our house, we both seem to believe that love should be in our hearts and expressed by deeds and not by words.

    Pooja
     
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  2. Varloo

    Varloo Gold IL'ite

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    I agree, Pooja

    Dear Pooja,
    What you have said is true. Only South Indians refrain from physical contact. I can't understand why it is like that. My mother used to get wild if at all I tried to hug her. Always stern and strict. If you love somebody, they should know it, isn't it? Loving somebody verydearly but always being rude to them is not going to give any results. And in the present world, I think we should also get used to being a little physical (Not fully like Westerners, but like our own North Indian brethern).
    varloo
     
  3. sunkan

    sunkan Gold IL'ite

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    hai folks ur very right abt this affection display

    hai folks,
    i join u all in this process of expression,,i think we all should work at this...we r never shy to fight in front of the children to prove our point so they think more in the lines that marriage is to solve so many quarrels and arguments rather than love...my daughter and son in law have defied this they r so open abt the relation kissing right in the middle though it was embarrassing in the beginning we got used to it ...and it is still difficult but when they pointed out we fight so open y not love in open....it will take some time to digest but yes it is a process india is taking over....and we find lots of couples kissing in the middle of a street these days ..atleast bangalore is picking up fast on this...whether subtle or wild...regards..sunkan
     
  4. Varloo

    Varloo Gold IL'ite

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    good start

    Dear sunkan,
    it is a good start. In our society, even old couple feel shy to hold hands. What is the use of keeping all the love bottled up and not showing? Chennai is its old self only, conservative to an extend. But nowadays we can see many young people rushing away in two wheelers, one soul, two bodies. And also lovers petting very heavily in theme parks beaches even children's park etc. I am a bit worried about this kind og show- I am sure these are unmarried people. Married people showing affection is good.
    varloo

    P.S.to mothers-If your son and wife copy this behaviour, do not get wild. Treat your dil also as your daughter,
     
  5. malar

    malar Bronze IL'ite

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    What to show and what not in public!

    Hi Varloo,

    I liked your response. About lovers yet to be married, showing off too much in public. You know there is a very thin line between showing affection in public and making it look sexy in public.

    Moreover, in places like Malaysia, Singapore, US and other places, even if you show off, other people in public don't stare at you. But that is not the case in India.

    Affection in public like husband & wife hugging as a sign of love or appreciation is fine. But kissing in front of the public or relations (as mentioned by Sunkan), I feel would be a little embarrassing and dramatic.

    Anyway, good discussion.

    Malar
     
  6. mithili

    mithili New IL'ite

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    I feel words are not as much infectious than physical touch or hug..so it's better follow the neater way to show ur affection...say I love you hundreds of times to ur loved one..thay shud be able to carry ur message of affection to ur loved one..
    getting to show physicval affection is like making other peoplewatching wanting about lady for the gent and gent for the ladies in indian soceity ..where al these cheap im moral behaviours have high standards in local..
     
    Last edited: Nov 29, 2008
  7. roopadadia

    roopadadia Silver IL'ite

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    Interesting thread started by Pooja, but i see only a couple of replies.

    Sunkan dear, i rarely see you around these days...was just wondering where have you disappeared.

    Display of affection and display of lust is two different things.

    A warm hug can also do wonders to show your feelings than a kiss. There are lots of means and gestures where you can show that you care for your partner...it need not necessarily be getting too physical.

    But then each to his own.
     
  8. ALPA

    ALPA Platinum IL'ite

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    i personally am a very affectionate person i love to hug everyone, especially my mum even though she does not like it, we all three sister always tell our mum we love you before going to bed and now she responds back i love you too.
    Just hugging someone who is in pain or just like that conveys a lot of things and it makes the other person comfortable.
    my ex boyfriend was not a physical type guy like hugging and holding hands and so on, once we were going to dine out so as soon as i came out of the car i held his hand he just let go andstarted to walk ahead of me, i felt to hurt i was trying to show some affection and he just ignored it.
    Showing affection like hugging and holding hands creates a stronger bond between two people and communication becomes easier, i have experienced this.every day i hug my little sister and if there is something wrong i will immediately know.

    Pooja thanks you so much for starting this thread

    Sending all the IL's on this post and on this site A BIG HUG AND LOTS OF LOVE:rotfl:rotfl:rotfl:rotfl

    Alpa:cheers

     
    2 people like this.
  9. rosenav

    rosenav Silver IL'ite

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    lol alpa i loved your post... I'm a person who totally believe in PDA.. for me actions speak more that words <?xml:namespace prefix = v ns = "urn:schemas-microsoft-com:vml" /><v:shapetype id=_x0000_t75 stroked="f" filled="f" path="m@4@5l@4@11@9@11@9@5xe" o:preferrelative="t" o:spt="75" coordsize="21600,21600"><v:stroke joinstyle="miter"></v:stroke><v:formulas><v:f eqn="if lineDrawn pixelLineWidth 0"></v:f><v:f eqn="sum @0 1 0"></v:f><v:f eqn="sum 0 0 @1"></v:f><v:f eqn="prod @2 1 2"></v:f><v:f eqn="prod @3 21600 pixelWidth"></v:f><v:f eqn="prod @3 21600 pixelHeight"></v:f><v:f eqn="sum @0 0 1"></v:f><v:f eqn="prod @6 1 2"></v:f><v:f eqn="prod @7 21600 pixelWidth"></v:f><v:f eqn="sum @8 21600 0"></v:f><v:f eqn="prod @7 21600 pixelHeight"></v:f><v:f eqn="sum @10 21600 0"></v:f></v:formulas><v:path o:connecttype="rect" gradientshapeok="t" o:extrusionok="f"></v:path><o:lock aspectratio="t" v:ext="edit"></o:lock></v:shapetype>:thumbsup

    Be it my family frnds or my hubby ... when ever i meet sumone i always hug and give a peck :kiss

    hubby and me always hold hands in public in <?xml:namespace prefix = st1 ns = "urn:schemas-microsoft-com:eek:ffice:smarttags" /><st1:country-region><st1:place>India</st1:place></st1:country-region> or not... sometime it helps us whenevr we fight and too embarrass or feel awkward to say sorry :hide: my hubby comes and put his head on my shoulder and hold my hand.. and it works both ways.. (its like saying something without saying it). I strongly believe in PDA and it only brings families together:cheers
     
  10. chocolate

    chocolate Platinum IL'ite

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    I do believe in show of affection. In fact everybody in our family do.My husband's family doesnt believe in it at all. So it was more of an adjustment for me. But personally I dont let that stop me and do hug and give a peck when I feel like.In a way it makes the other person feel important and makes them happy. If that doesnt show the other person how important she/he is what else does.That is one thing I do admire about westerners.
     

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