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Proud Parenting Moment

Discussion in 'Miscellaneous in Parenting' started by SGBV, Oct 21, 2018.

  1. SGBV

    SGBV IL Hall of Fame

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    Thank you for your advices @Rihana
    Too much speculation, and imagination by the way.
    Let me clear the important ones for you see this post in right spirit.

    Problem was not her poor performance or tiredness. It was the teacher's forgetfulness that the kid wasn't practicing the past 1 week. So, when she asked the kid to perform what others had practiced over the week, it became difficult for her to follow.
    And when punished (verbally) for why she wasn't able to follow (without considering the fact that she wasn't there when those steps were taught), she felt insulted.
    At that age and maturity, this is what a 5 year old could do to protect her dignity. So, I stand by her as a proud mother.

    However, if it is something related to her poor performance or tiredness, obviously she should have been more patient and asked the coach for extra coaching politely.
    And if that doesn't work, I would have arranged her some extra coaching classes.

    It was not regular subject class, and it was not optional for those tiny little girls on their annual concert. The teachers selected them, and their consent wasn't really mattered.
    As far as I understand "Try different method" means, 'teach me extra, teach me later, teach me individually to catch up with others" because it was hard for her to follow others - who had the training when she was absent

    Did I tell you that all these happened before the kid?
    Do they (teachers/principal) do such a thing before the kids in Schools?
    It might have happened at the teacher's room, principal's room or may be somewhere at the corner where all the 3 of them concerned (principal, class teacher & coach) gathered.
    Her class teacher narrated this to me, and I did not ask her the location of this incident ;)

    Again, you are too much speculating. That too very negatively.
    My simple advice for you is to see life positively. Accept people as they are, instead of looking into nitty gritty flaws everywhere.

    To answer your question, the matter , i.e " a little girl's confidence to stand up for herself" was mentioned at the assembly without revealing the identity of the child or the teacher or the issue.
    It might have been something like "I saw a little girl like you all yesterday, where she was so bold, and confidently spoke up for herself. This is how I want you all children to be confident in life... blah..blah..."
    It was a pre school, and there is no need for the principal to insult the coach and break the news to the kids. Simple commonsense!!!

    Since the class teacher knew what it was, and she knew the principal asked the identity and background of the girl earlier, she informed this to me as a matter of appreciation.

    Hope you are clear now :)

    Ladies, I knew this thread was nominated for FP.
    While replying back to @Rihana, it felt like winning a Nobel price :)
     
    Last edited: Nov 9, 2018
    Rihana likes this.
  2. Rihana

    Rihana Finest Post Winner

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    I did see it in the right spirit. I have seen my DD face avoidable trouble for such standing up and shared my perspectives.

    The dance coach was a jerk. Yelling at a little child is stupid at best. Like I said, what your child did was brave. Along with appreciation, it would be a good idea to give her some pointers on future handling of similar situations.

    Perhaps I was not clear. No matter what the reason, sometimes we cannot afford to be so direct with teacher even when the teacher highly deserves it. In such case, starting off with "agreeing" with the teacher makes the teacher feel acknowledged.

    Exactly. "try different methods" is an innocent directive, but coming from a student to an already-irate clueless teacher, it can backfire.

    My apologies. I thought your child told you all this on the phone as you are currently miles away.

    My apologies again. I was suggesting how the ability to stand up could be further honed for future.

    Seeing life positively and examining it closely are exclusive?

    Then the principal is even more weird. Without knowing the context, just hearing the principal advise them to "stand up confidently" will go in through one ear and out the other of kids.

    You have such nice class teachers who take the time to relate what happened in assembly. Where we live, we get a maximum of 10 minutes once a year. In that also, the teacher keeps telling us not to be so Asian, not to push the child, grades don't matter, and blah. They don't even send the report card home the previous day. They spring it on parent in the conference so parent is distracted by all the abbreviations and comments in that.

    Yes, thank you. You are way more patient that my response deserved. Much appreciated.
     
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  3. SGBV

    SGBV IL Hall of Fame

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    She was so inexperienced. Not a qualified primary teacher, but a temporary dance coach - who was hired for the concert.
    I get your points!!! thanks.

    I know, it can backfire. But the very problem is, keeping quiet or being nice all the time, thinking "speaking up" can backfire.
    Even if that backfires, it shouldn't be a problem to the child when her parents are well backing her.
    What matters is to understand the problem, speak up to save her dignity, and don't worry too much about the consequences.
    The weird teacher who refuses to see the kid's problem will not see the kid's politeness either.

    And not only in this matter, but other matters such as child sexual abuse, discrimination etc.. kids need to speak up, they need to act up (of course differently) but the point is, they should not be worried about how it can get backfired later.

    Again you are speculating, and taking this note only negatively.
    I actually don't know what exactly the principal has narrated. But I was sure the principal did that in an anonymous way in a language the kids could understand.
    The purpose of their weekly assembly is to address the kids with some key note for their understanding. Standing up for oneself and being confident was the topic their principal has chosen for that day, and according to the teacher my child was the inspiration behind it.
    An experienced principal knows how to narrate it, without being a weirdo. We just have to trust her ability.

    Yes, this is called the blessings of living in your own land.
    When you are popular in your surrounding, and when almost all the service provider is your acquaintance, life is beautiful.
    One of the reasons, why I chose to settle in Sri Lanka, despite of having a duel citizenship (Canada).
     
  4. Vidushi

    Vidushi New IL'ite

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    "But it is to show them an example of how to face life by living it."

    This is GOLD !

    Most parents think the kids Do what they SAY...but most kids actually Do what the parents DO !

    SGBV - Kudos to you and your daughter
     

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