1. How to Build Positivity in Married Life? : Click Here
    Dismiss Notice
  2. What can you teach someone online? Tell us here!
    Dismiss Notice
  3. If someone taught you via skype, what would you want to learn? Tell us here!
    Dismiss Notice
Dismiss Notice
Coding Challenge for Kids ages 8-18 - Accept the Challenge to WIN $100

Property Resolution With Brother

Discussion in 'Parents & Siblings' started by mangaii, Feb 22, 2020.

  1. mangaii

    mangaii Platinum IL'ite

    Messages:
    1,154
    Likes Received:
    1,356
    Trophy Points:
    283
    Gender:
    Female
    I have upcoming India trip after a long time . Last few years have been really tough on me with my husband going through long phase of unemployment and my health problems. This is the longest vacation I’m taking from work after zillion years . Now I really want to relax during this trip . I already informed my in-laws about the same and they are very understanding. My goal is to shutdown myself from cooking , cleaning and absolutely no arguments with anyone . Now there is problem and I want to know how to dodge it . I bought a house back when I was working in India . My brother bought a plot next to it . My brother is well off and he lives in 3 bed room apartment in posh locality . Now my brother wants to build house in this lot . When he checked with builder he asked about the adjoining house ( mine is really old) and once all details were shared builder gave him an idea to join both and build a 2 floor home . My brother is ready to invest all the money for the project and give me floor upstairs while he will take the down one . My husband is also on board for this but I’m the only one who isn’t . Honestly my idea is to sell it and use money for retirement home later on . The house isn’t old and that is my den when I go to India. I really don’t want to share the property since it is going to take away my ownership. It was all the savings I have got back home . My brother is investing because his property is too small to build a home size he wants . Now the discussion has come up asking for power of attorney . I deserve a peaceful trip . My husband says why not . I really want to dodge this since I’m not sure how I want to use it . I feel it is my right why should I share the property . In future we can never sell it . My husband thinks I’m being unreasonable without any logic . Any inputs .
     
    Loading...

  2. RetireFI

    RetireFI Senior IL'ite

    Messages:
    11
    Likes Received:
    23
    Trophy Points:
    18
    Gender:
    Female
    You are not unreasonable. Your house is in a plot. In India, due to land scarcity, Apartments’ value might depreciate but individual plots in good area will always be worth something and would continue to appreciate. Discuss with your brother nicely that even though you live away from India, what you have, you place immense value, so you are not mentally ready to give it away. May be few years down the road, you might change your opinion and you can discuss then. If he truly cares for you, he would understand. You deserve to have peaceful vacation.
     
    mangaii, Angela123 and Topaz49 like this.
  3. Agathinai

    Agathinai Silver IL'ite

    Messages:
    128
    Likes Received:
    235
    Trophy Points:
    93
    Gender:
    Female
    Try telling that you would like to leave the old house as is and will think about the future later. Tell them you have sentimental values or whatever.

    Honestly speaking it wouldn’t work out well if you join with your brother to build a flat. Later there will definitely be problems with regards to the flat maintenance and division of the property. Right now there are no problem and there are clear boundaries as to the property rights.

    If your brother wants to build he should have sold the plot or tried to build elsewhere. Your house is not to be considered.

    Relationships will get strained if you agree for it. Your hesitation is valid and don’t accept and reply them politely. Good luck.
     
    mangaii likes this.
  4. Topaz49

    Topaz49 Gold IL'ite

    Messages:
    533
    Likes Received:
    589
    Trophy Points:
    188
    Gender:
    Female
    That is exactly what you should tell your brother before your visit; that way, the issue should not be discussed while you are there. Even if anyone brings it up, you can always say that has already been discussed and you don't have anything more to add.

    You can also tell him that you are very sentimental to that property.
     
    Last edited: Feb 23, 2020
    mangaii, KashmirFlower and shravs3 like this.
  5. ragzz

    ragzz Silver IL'ite

    Messages:
    91
    Likes Received:
    99
    Trophy Points:
    58
    Gender:
    Female
    Best is to say you have sentimental attachment to it (and then the "money/value" cannot come into question). So the decision is based on sentimental value and not based on monetary value. That's what you need to stick to @mangaii
     
    mangaii likes this.
  6. shravs3

    shravs3 Finest Post Winner

    Messages:
    2,697
    Likes Received:
    5,079
    Trophy Points:
    425
    Gender:
    Female
    You are not being unreasonable.
    If you are sure you need the property, then I feel you need to convey the same politely to your brother. Instead of 50-50 kind of answers it’s better to tell him now itself so that he can find some alternatives.

    Even if your brother gives you a floor, joint property is always a headache when selling.
     
  7. Topaz49

    Topaz49 Gold IL'ite

    Messages:
    533
    Likes Received:
    589
    Trophy Points:
    188
    Gender:
    Female
    see the next post
     
    mangaii likes this.
  8. Topaz49

    Topaz49 Gold IL'ite

    Messages:
    533
    Likes Received:
    589
    Trophy Points:
    188
    Gender:
    Female
    This is so true. Even the best of siblings relationship gets impacted at the end!
     
    mangaii, Angela123 and shravs3 like this.
  9. Whyme20

    Whyme20 Silver IL'ite

    Messages:
    30
    Likes Received:
    70
    Trophy Points:
    58
    Gender:
    Female
    My personal experience is that investments with family rarely go well. About 10 years back my dad, brother and I invested in a prime property which turned out to be a dead investment. It brought us a lot of heartache both financial and emotional.

    If you are not interested keep it simple, tell your brother that you love him so you do not want to turn this relationship sour by complicating the things by sharing property and so on.
     
    mangaii, KashmirFlower and Amulet like this.
  10. Amulet

    Amulet IL Hall of Fame

    Messages:
    3,130
    Likes Received:
    5,012
    Trophy Points:
    408
    Gender:
    Female
    Rarely? Never is closer to reality, unless some people in the joint venture give up their capital as the price of maintaining the family relationship they want to sustain.
    The OP can refuse the joint venture, and lose the relationship. Or... the OP can go along with the joint venture, and lose the relationship a little later. The choice is simple, and the only difference is the speed of arriving at the same result.

    Given that life is short, and we cannot take it with us, there is no reason to hurry up, kill relationships, and make enemies.
     
    mangaii, Topaz49 and Whyme20 like this.

Share This Page