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Problem With Younger Cosister

Discussion in 'Relationship With In-Laws' started by Trustcarelove, Dec 12, 2016.

  1. MalStrom

    MalStrom Platinum IL'ite

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    Why are you running behind your BIL and his wife? They are presumably adults. Let them figure out their lives.
     
    Sandycandy and yellowmango like this.
  2. sheztheone

    sheztheone Platinum IL'ite

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    I honestly think your husband is being wiser and more practical about this than you are.

    He was right in asking you not to trouble kids with a 3 hour drive, and now he's right in feeling upset with his brother and wife.

    Your OP itself shows how your BIL and cosis have been using you guys.
    If they really cared about involving you, they would have been more responsive with updates before and after the delivery.

    You should give them the silent treatment for a while.
    We women make the mistake of getting too emotional and excited about family get-togethers, pregnancy, birth etc sometimes even when the person in question cares too hoots about us.
     
    BeingSoulful, sindmani and Sandycandy like this.
  3. Sandycandy

    Sandycandy Platinum IL'ite

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    Been there , done that ! I learnt my lessons and hopefully OP will soon !
     
    Naari likes this.
  4. Trustcarelove

    Trustcarelove Bronze IL'ite

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    No, I am not. If they mind our lives and we mind outs, there wont be any problem...But they will come back bonding with my kids and trying to have the normality with my husband ignoring me and my feelings.
     
  5. Trustcarelove

    Trustcarelove Bronze IL'ite

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    Thank you, After all that happened last week, I decided not to call them again or message them as i didn't get any response from them, clearly they ignored me and didn't want to talk to me. But, my DH called my BIL on wednesday and ofcourse they chatted in Facetime with my kids ( my cosis) too and my BIL responds to the pictures, videos my DH post on the family whatsapp grp which really irritates me..

    Ofcourse they posted their flight, travel updates as well...

    The point now is I am upset that they made a big thing out of this and did not return my call or messages, but everything seems to turned out normal to all minus me...my problem is my husband is not allowing them to realize what they are doing to me is not right..

    I have decided when time comes, i will have to talk it out in the face straight way and let them know how i have been treated so that i have peace with me..
     
  6. Sandycandy

    Sandycandy Platinum IL'ite

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    Actually for your peace of mind , don't confront them for their behavior . They do not deserve a second of your time or energy. Make peace with the fact that they don't care for you and you don't care for them. It's their loss, not yours. Don't expect the husband to make them realize that their behavior is wrong, most husbands don't . Blood runs thicker than water. Let the husband and kids keep communicating , you stay away. Keep your family whatsapp group on silent mode. Shouldn't you focus on people that care for you and your generosity ?


     
  7. BhumiBabe

    BhumiBabe Gold IL'ite

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    Knowing that she's pregnant, I can see why she might not think to help, but it's entirely inappropriate for her to go elsewhere in the house to watch TV. She should at least keep you company.

    Next time, as her to keep you company or keep asking her questions so she can't escape to the tv. If she sitting at the table, you can just hand over an onion or vegetable to start cutting. Or roll chapati
     
  8. Trustcarelove

    Trustcarelove Bronze IL'ite

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    I get it Sandycandy, yes Blood is thicker than water. I understand that i should focus on people who cares about me, even my close friend tells the same,,,but it is really difficult to get the thought out of my mind..

    Thank you for your valuable thoughts..
     
    Sandycandy likes this.
  9. Trustcarelove

    Trustcarelove Bronze IL'ite

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    thanks Bhumibabe, given all what happened in the past few weeks, not sure how things will go..will see..
     
  10. Chaitra92

    Chaitra92 New IL'ite

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    What s the best solution
    If we want to do luv marriage n doesn't want hurt any1
     

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