Problem in Marriage

Just go through this . Hoping,that it helps you to get some clarity .

http://www.indusladies.com/forums/married-life/222203-psycology-of-abusers-manipulators.html

 

Since he has talked about separation, i think you should privately see a divorce attorney and learn your rights. This will give you more confidence to take the next step. From all you have mentioned, he has written you off. The PCOS taunt will be used throughout your life if you choose to live with him. I will not be surprised if he brings it up as a reason in the divorce case (saying that the information was hidden from him). Please do not email him or write anything to him. He will use those information in the legal case. Highly recommend you see the movie "Sleeping with the Enemy" of Julia Roberts, there were a couple of hindi movies made on the same topic (one by madhuri and one by Manisha Koirala). Also, watch the movie "Akele Hum Akele Tum" where facts get twisted in legal courts.

 

I had a look at the link you posted, quite informative one. The most important part of it says that the abuser need to WANT to change, one another point is admitting fully to what they have done... moreover it says clearly that stopping excuses and blamings is essential.. non of these is given in your husbands case.. and these are just the first points of the list...
You seem to be stucked in a cycle and need time and space to get out of it.

Dont react on his blamings. To twist the topic towards your direction with being in fault is a strategy.

Stop explaining him abuse and the meaning, techniques etc. - he knows very well, he will just use it to turn it against you (psychopaths for example learn and adapt strategies from their opposite). He will turn it upside down and use it against you, its gonna just coz more fight, will get you deeper into the spiral of manipulation and frustrate high times.

Give him streight, polite and clear information about your position. No excuses, no explanation, no getting trapped into his talks. Facts that cant be missunderstood.

Collect proof of everything that is going on. Dont send mails which cud be used against you, dont play into his hands.

Talk to a good laywer without him knowing.

Stay strong and dont beliefe you ever deserved it. Everyone has flaws and does mistakes, noeone is perfect, me, you, him anyone - that is no reason to ever abuse, threat, slap, beat or use ill language to a person.

 

Hi, First of all you are a human being who deserves respect. Man is not a superior animal than a woman. You should have stopped him from the first time slapping. At that time you were in USA , so you could have called 911 for domestic abuse. Or at least warning ,if you slapped me one time more I will call the police. I do not think he is a good husband at all. You are a mature person so decide accordingly.