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problem facing with sisterinlaw when we go india

Discussion in 'Relationship With In-Laws' started by manaligb, Jul 21, 2010.

  1. manaligb

    manaligb New IL'ite

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    I am facing problems which are very hard to believe with my sisterinlaw and her family of 5 members, they all stay in our home in india, to say the true they are occupied our family by the support of my motherinlaw. when we go to india its a very very difficult thing to stay in our home, not only that I dont have any freedom to talk with my husband when we go india, and lots of problems like they involve in every micro thing and make big issues. they wont be on their limits and monitor me all the time all the time all the time. they are not ready to go to other house, they are staying in our home and they want to stay in our home, in turn they make me and harrass me in a way that by their acts and activities I feel like I should go to my mothers place. the thing happens the same, they do the same and I go to my mothers place. not only this they are stealing all our household jewellery by making my motherinlaw by believing them.....nearly 2 kgs of gold has been stolen by them. my family of 3 members are staying abroad so they are getting freedom to stay in our home by the lineance given by my motherinlaw...things are getting worse and worse...I cant say even in detail here.....things are upto the financial matters..but my husband is not getting into mind whats the thing happening in india....if it is like this then what is our future after going india.....how can we stay in our home and how live happily....pls consider me and suggest me any ideas to get rid of them and all my problems are solved.....pls pls pls....
     
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  2. manaligb

    manaligb New IL'ite

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    pls help me and suggest me what I have to do....

    I am facing problems which are very hard to believe with my sisterinlaw and her family of 5 members, they all stay in our home in india, to say the true they are occupied our family by the support of my motherinlaw. when we go to india its a very very difficult thing to stay in our home, not only that I dont have any freedom to talk with my husband when we go india, and lots of problems like they involve in every micro thing and make big issues. they wont be on their limits and monitor me all the time all the time all the time. they are not ready to go to other house, they are staying in our home and they want to stay in our home, in turn they make me and harrass me in a way that by their acts and activities I feel like I should go to my mothers place. the thing happens the same, they do the same and I go to my mothers place. not only this they are stealing all our household jewellery by making my motherinlaw by believing them.....nearly 2 kgs of gold has been stolen by them. my family of 3 members are staying abroad so they are getting freedom to stay in our home by the lineance given by my motherinlaw...things are getting worse and worse...I cant say even in detail here.....things are upto the financial matters..but my husband is not getting into mind whats the thing happening in india....if it is like this then what is our future after going india.....how can we stay in our home and how live happily....pls consider me and suggest me any ideas to get rid of them and all my problems are solved.....pls pls pls..
     
  3. chitmin

    chitmin Gold IL'ite

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  4. SriVidya75

    SriVidya75 Platinum IL'ite

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    So first things first. You being in USA, why are you bothered about what happens in your MILs house? If they are stealing jewellery and money how did you come to know about it? Does your husband know all this? and if he knew and he is keeping quiet, that shows that he doesnt mind if his sister takes those stuff. So in what way can you interfere in all this?

    Also do you have plans of going back to India with in couple of years? if not why are you getting worked up with what all is happenign there?might be because your inlaws are alone, your SIL moved into your inlaws house with her family. When both of them have no issues why do you have to worry about all this. Also even if you happen to think about moving back to India, you can tell your husband to rent a apt/house separately as you cant ask your SIL to move out with her family which wouldnt be nice at all. That way you would stay away from all of them in your own house. They can come and visit you when they want to.

    If you think they are stealing stuff or taking away things , then ensure you dont send too much money or keep your jewellery there. Tell your MIL some reason of some festival or gathering here in USA and ask her to send the jewellery...ask her one at a time. Remember this, unless there is major damage happening to the money you are sending to your MIL or your SIL getting all your investments on her name, dont worry or fret over it. Let your MIL do what she wants to do with her money or her house as your husband also doesnt care about all that.

    Whatever is yours keep that safe and ASK for it . Keep all that with you. Tell your husband about it that you dont mind SIL taking your MILs jewellery or whatever it is..but your stuff is yours and you wont like it if someone has it. Deal with what is yours.
     
  5. uvs

    uvs New IL'ite

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    It is natural that always MILs will be in favour to their daughters.They always show great concern only for their daughters.Always a daughter is a daughter and a DIL is a DIL. So don t think much of changing things.
    As srividhya says don t mind about your mil s house or jewellery.But always have a hold on yours. Next time when you go to India open a locker in a bank say some valid reasons to your mil ,get your jewels and safe guard it in the locker.
    Regds
    UVS
     
  6. manaligb

    manaligb New IL'ite

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    No no, my BIL(husband's younger brother is ther with MIL). even though MIL wants her daughter family to be in the home with her, MIL is considered about her daughter's family only, not anyone else, MIL says by her mouth that no DIL and no SON in the world is good, except daughters and daughters family. like this she kept in her mind and behaving the same manner. even my BIL(husband brother ) is there in the family , he got married and got a kid, even though SIL stays in that house. my husband says that If I am not there living in INdia as I am in US why should I get worried all about the things in INdia. He talks over phone to india whenever he wants, from home and also from outside(friends phones), even a bit of word I could not listen to them, as there are lots of quarrels going on between SIL and co-sister & MIL, so if get to know about them then I would say let us send SIL go out of the home, so they are fear of what I am gonna say, how I am gonna take advantage of the situation in India, so for acting like good in front of me when I go india, they are paying or they are buying or they are giving some money or jewellery to co-sister so that she should support them and they all to be in a unity in front of me. they are acting like that....what to do...
    I got to know all these things known by my co-sister once..she said that she is getting paid for suporting them when we come to India, so co-sister is also not doing fair thing to me, all of them are planning to eat away the money and money wheever the way is and whevever they get a chance.....co-sister says that she is having a belief in the word like where there is a light , get all the things done before the light goes off......
    I thought what a kind of mentality god,, people are running away after money and money....but my husband is like he is the pillar for all these reasons behind.

    MIL says that in front of me to my husband that, you have make your BIL & sisters family progress, my husband has to incur all the expenses and he has to bear all the money and all the accomodation and all the money and my husband has to give money for their livelihood, so that his sister and BIL will get good wealth and they save money and they will not spend their own money which they are using for savings and investments,.
    what to do my husband is like mad at them, he is not at all looking after me, caring me,. he just want his sister's family at good, if I want to get a job, then I have to try on my own, when I does trying my husband comes in between and talk to company people, what he says to them dont know, but whom I talk for filing H1, they are not replying me the next time. there is no one to help me......
     

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