Preparing For High School Education In Usa

I would first parse this question into its two implicit aspects: the parent-centric and the child-centric.

You are framing this question as a parent - an adult, experienced, painfully aware of an uber-competitive world and the need for good medical insurance. From that point of view, expressing it in this way is fine. You are among other parents. We all want to give our children the best of everything.

However, from the point of view of raising a child 'right' (we can argue about what that means later!), this might not be the best way to go about it. To foster a commitment to the arts with this end goal would be doing your child a disservice. Do it this way because some admissions officer (who herself might not know Gounod from gulabjamun) wants to see these boxes ticked. Push yourself so you can talk about it in your essay. Not a good idea.

What one really needs to do is to take advantage of their youthful enthusiasm, curiosity, and energy and channel it without appearing to do so. I wouldn't say, volunteer, so that you can cross that off your college app to-dos. What you might do, is volunteer yourself and craftily pick a cause that your child could plug into, as a family effort - something you can do when the kid is young and impressionable, before the teenage rebellion sets in. It should appear completely normal - this is simply the sort of thing civilized people do. It is expected of you, just like your chores. Here's a charity jar, Mum and Dad put a dollar in it every week, what about you? What's your share gonna be? How about 5¢ from your pocket money?

Similarly, I would say, never compromise on what the arts and culture are good for. Relentlessly stick to notions of cultivation, refinement, beauty, of things that are life enriching and make life worth living. The college essay will write itself.

 

Now back to the parents! How would we channel a child's energy in a way that would indeed make them stand out, without making them take a cynical and purely instrumental view of the arts (or anything else - unless it's driving - that exists only to get you from point A to Point B)?

Step back for a minute. What is it that you really want for your child? Where does it overlap with what an admissions committee wants to see? When the kid is as described above (likes, is very involved, etc.), then engagement has been achieved. Maybe a measure of skill as well. The next step is to teach them to venture further afield and experiment. One foot in the known and the other out into the unknown. Start where you are and show me that you can do something new. Or at least have the initiative and courage to try.

Our university has a whole world to offer you - convince us that you can make something out of that, out of yourself. That's what an admissions officer is looking for. And that is precisely what you want for your child. The trick is channeling them gently toward asking the 'what' and then the 'how' for themselves. The 'why' should be imprinted in the most elevated terms possible (definitely not college essay!) - because it is true, not as a mere strategy. That's your job as a parent.

Bharatnatyam you say? Marvelous, for the first act, perform the Kalinga Narthanam that your teacher taught you, but then for the next round how about choreographing, with your teacher's help, some quintessentially American story? Rip Van Winkle perhaps? Or Grimm's? Hansel and Gretel? Sleeping Beauty? Cinderella? Now you are showing your American audience what a story familiar to them might look like in a dance form alien to them. Or, how about a Bharatanatyam Swan Lake (that story with Indian music? Assuming the whole dance class can participate, quite a challenge!). Or, get together with a friend of yours who is learning ballet and try to build a combined performance.

Music? Have your practice session with sick kids at the Children's Hospital. Or, explore something unorthodox with your instrument. Or both. The details don't matter. It is the attempt that counts. It is the process that counts.

 

Very beaitifully put @sokanasanah .
I wish I had this guidance when my kids went to high school.

 

Heh, heh. While you're at it, don't forget to google "On the pursuit and misuse of useless information".

 

Dear Soka, so enjoyed reading both your posts - this one and the one before that. Thanks a ton @Rihana for bringing this to the FP forum. This is something which I feel so strongly about. What we lack is true, quality 'education' which becomes a tool in the hands of the individual to enable him/her to lead a successful life - not in terms of 'essays written and certificates/medals won for them' but in terms of enjoying life, achieving something that is longer lasting than the glory of a medal, contributing something to the world around us and beyond and eventually leaving behind footprints in the sands of time.

Finally, Soka, I'd like to ask you something that someone asked you a couple of days ago (?), "Soka, is there anything you don't know"?

Thanks once again Soka for a couple of very enlightening posts and Rihana for bringing them to the FP forum.

 

I put my son through lot of activities to keep him engaged with more friends. Poor thing, never said a word but he seems to know how to make his teacher drop him in the next round....

Piano (till MS), bosson (MS), marching band (MS), Tae won do (till MS), swimming (till MS), Tennis (MS-HS team) and finally, hospital volunteer (HS, 1000+ hours). In HS, he was also his 'scholastic bowl' team treasurer,and then, president. Participated at inter school competitions, won prizes.

Is it worth the time/effort? It gives the kid a sense of belonging, assembling/representing with their team, loosing or winning doesn't matter.

Actually, writing essay about personalized topic seems to have some impact.... among my office colleagues, 3-of our kids had similar GPA, 2-boys and 1-girl, she had a perfect ACT score! My son won the scholarship for the essay that he wrote about his immigrant dad, story. I was bit surprised, it was 25K (tax free) from my company.

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Lately, I have a feeling that we need to teach our kids to be street smart - i.e, how to get along / work with a group of uncooperative people (adults!). There is no such a thing as the 'smarty pants' at work place, even if you are one, it can take you only so far, you will be isolated / abandoned among the coworkers in no time.

Getting along with others, networking, self motivation, assertiveness, how to defend yourself, how to be politically correct when you speak / not to offend anyone, --- pretty much making the 'trust no one' area into your friendly network.

Not that I am an expert in working environment, had to teach my kid during his interneship, campus jobs and college team project, RA/TA years, act as an adult! Hand holding never stops

 

Dear Sokanasanah,
Such a wonderful parenting tip.I wish you were a counsellor for school children.
My DIL is a dance teacher.She learnt dance in Kalakshetra style from age 7, did her Arangetram at the age of 14.She is a computer Engineer.Yet unable to mange the stress of home and IT, left of IT job and conducts dance classes from her garage since 2002 in Bay Area.She is wedded to the art, very good in rhythm,totally comfortable with the art.She has choreographed some strange topics like pancha boothas( Five elements),modern hastiness for stage presence etc.She does not hurry for Arangetram and conducts individual classes on 1-1 basis.
She is such a disciplined girl, an asset to our family.
Her son will be in 8th in next year .However much she tries she is unable to bring out that much of discipline she wants in her child.
I shall be sending your instructions to her.
Day before yesterday my grandson has sent an essay about 'sibling jealousy' describing how he felt when he was informed that he was going to have a baby brother/sister at home.He has described his own feelings of joy mingled with strains of jealousy in his own words and his essay was adjudged as the best in his class.
He is very brilliant.Learns carnatic music for the past 6 years.He can identify complicated swara patterns,very good in Konnakol.But the lazy child in him wakes up often and prevents from doing a rigorous practice expected by his mother.She is finding out ways and means to get him away from distractions of the 'mobile' world.
We wish that parents' sincere efforts should yield fruits.Mothers in 1950-60s never had so much problem even to bring up 5 children.There were less diversions, not greater aims to make the child shine in academics as well as extra curriculars.Is it the over enthusiasm of the parent or wrong focus-which is responsible for the not so much impressionable success?It cannot be denied that there are many late bloomers too.

Thanks Rihana for bringing your essay into the 'finest post' category.Otherwise I would have missed.
Jayasala 42