Hi Everyone, I have been married for over 3years. My wedding was a biggest dramatic event of my life. Though my parents provided their consent for the marriage, my mom was never happy with my decision & as a result she boycotted me out of the family after my wedding. Once upon a time I was her favorite & she was very close to me. Everything changed after wedding, absolutely zero contact, I tried too hard & too many times to many things better but her big fat ego never came with terms for a decent/open discussion nor was she open for any problem solving discussions. I have had a very stressful relationship with her throughout my life. She was always at the extremes of love & anger. She was abusive physically, emotionally & blamed her kids for all the misfortunate life bought for her, never had/still doesn’t share a great relationship with dad. She always finds faults in others with a provided situation & never looks back at herself to see if there was anything she could have done. In short, very egoistic abusive bully. Having said all this, she is still my mom. I still love her the same way I always have throughout my life, irrespective of things she has said & done. I moved to US after our wedding & visited India twice. In my first visit I went home with gifts, she asked my dad to throw out everything I bought & insulted me, asking me not show my face again. I was broken with her behavior; my one decision turned everything upside down, all her thoughts & beliefs about me changed; only because I followed my heart. My last visit I did not want to go home & met dad outside. However I was invited to my closest cousin’s wedding, it was my cousin & my aunt who insisted on the invite. Only I was invited, not my husband nor his family. I decided to attend the reception only because I wanted to get a glance of mom’s face & the fact that this cousin has been very kind & helpful to me always. She saw me there & insulted in front of entire clan. I simply walked out of the reception hall with tears in my eyes & said nothing to her. It took lot of effort for me to move myself from extremely disturbing thoughts & feelings she left me with, making me guilty for my choices. In these years, I have realized how much abuse she had created in my life. Not a single day was peaceful & when a few days went by peacefully, there would come a big wave of fights/tantrums & everything at once. But I also found ways to make peace with everything she has done in these years. I have a good husband, my best friend, we have a decent life & I am happy for everything I have in life. Like everyone I loved my family to bits, I miss everyone dearly but I have accepted the way of things now. I am 20 weeks pregnant with my first child; this is very special for us. I shared the news with my dad who seemed happy but also told me he won’t tell mom until I am closer to my due date. Pregnancy bought back more emotions, I miss mom more, I miss my family more. The days I feel terrible I cry & let it go. I had this wired dream where my mom sees me pregnant & is asking why I never told her, she seemed very emotional & hurt. I woke up thinking if I should call her once. But I am scared of the curses & drama she will create on the phone. I am not ready to take more, not at least at this stage of life. This is a pure vent & still a question if I should call her once. What do you think?