Practical Astrology

Discussion in 'Jokes' started by varalotti, Jun 22, 2005.

  1. varalotti

    varalotti Moderator Staff Member IL Hall of Fame

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    This middle appeared in Deccan Herald on 20th June.

    Problems Galore


    He was an astrology-buff. He would start his day by seeing the prediction in his daily-sheet calendar applicable for his zodiac sign. His mood for the whole day will be decided by the words that the unknown, unseen astrologer chose to put against his zodiac sign. His wife gave a damn to astrology, but nevertheless loved her husband.

    One fateful day he woke up to see “Problems Galore” for his sign ‘Leo’. He became depressed.

    And the prediction turned out to be painfully true. His two-wheeler had a flat tyre. Cursing his fate he walked to a nearby bus stop. In the bus as he was about to buy the ticket he found that he had forgotten his wallet. The presence of one of his friends in the same bus solved the wallet problem.

    When he reached his office he was late by an hour. It turned out that as he – the cashier – was late the Manager had asked some one to handle cash for some time. Within thirty minutes and less than a dozen transactions the substitute reported a cash shortage of Rs.40000 and blamed it on our hero who had not closed the previous day’s cash properly.

    Overwhelmed by self-pity our hero got into the job and soon found out the cause for the trouble. The substitute had generously handed over a five-hundred-Rupee-note section instead of a hundred-Rupee-note one, which explained the shortage of forty thousand. The payee was traced and the money retrieved.

    When the hero called it a day one more problem remained. He was still without his wallet and had forgotten to borrow money for his travel back home. He resigned himself to the predicted destiny and started to walk when the Manager passing by in his car offered to drop him home.

    At dinnertime he recounted his day of ‘Problems Galore’ to his wife. His wife’s voice was nonchalant:
    ‘You noticed the flat tyre when your bike was safe at home. Had the tyre gone flat when we were in the other end of the town late last night, assume what an ordeal would it have been? You forgot the wallet; but your friend was there in the bus to save you from embarrassment. The cash shortage in the office eclipsed your being late by an hour. Your solving the cash shortage problem showed you in a much better light than the substitute. Finally the travel with your Manager consolidated your strengths in the eyes of your boss. All these would have an impact on your career.’

    ‘But.. but….. how… did you get all these ideas?’

    ‘From the same calendar where you got your absurd ideas. You tore off two sheets in the morning. The actual prediction for Leo today is ‘Progress.’ ‘Problems Galore’ is for tomorrow. So I viewed all the happenings through the prism of ‘progress’ while you did it with through that of ‘problems'.

    Our hero now started worrying about the next day.

    [font=&quot]Varalotti Rengasamy[/font]
     
    Last edited by a moderator: Jun 22, 2005
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  2. sonu

    sonu New IL'ite

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    Hi Varalotti,

    That was a good one! When I was in my school days I never use to believe astrology. I am not sure when I started to read astrology for the week for my sign, now I do it regularly.

    I guess many of them (if not most) reading the predictions for their sign just keep relating to whatever happens to them to whatever they read and keep believing it.

    But one thing I noticed was - something said good 'least' happens, while something said bad 'mostly' happens.
     
  3. varalotti

    varalotti Moderator Staff Member IL Hall of Fame

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    Filters

    Dear Sonu,
    Like you I also look into the weekly forecast, the daily forecast every thing. But I have a filter. I believe whatever is positive and whatever is bad I just ignore saying to myself 'Astrology is all bluff'
    Psychologists say that we receive something like 60 billion stimuli (ie.provocations to our sense organs from the outside world). Naturally our mind is not equipped to handle that kind of a volume. So our mind goes for some kind of filters. And astrology is one kind of filter. In the piece I wrote the husband used problems as a filter whereas the wife relies on progress as a filter.
    So the bottomline of my suggestion is have something positive as your filter and then through that filter sense the stimuli. Whatever that happens to you will only be good.
    thanks for the response, sonu.
    regards,
    varalotti
     
  4. jyoti

    jyoti New IL'ite

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    Feeds our pyschological feelings...

    I'm almost the type mentioned by Varalotti as far as Astrology is concerned.

    I will say 'I strongly believe in astrology' if it is all good for me. Whenever I read something not good, I immediately callout 'astrology is a total fake'.

    At the end it just feeds our psychological feelings!!

    Bye,

    Jyoti
     
  5. paanzaa

    paanzaa Silver IL'ite

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    Long before,Kushwant Sngh wrote about Peter Vidal's astrology syndication in Sunday Standard: Peter Vidal was long dead, and I as the editor, was instrumental in filling up the column. What I did was to take the earleir predictions and put them randomly in various zodiac...Does it sound familiar with our TV channels and Vivek's comedy>.
     
  6. varalotti

    varalotti Moderator Staff Member IL Hall of Fame

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    I know some such thing was happening. Magazine astrology is no better than what is printed on the back of the weighing machine ticket which you get for just 1 Re.
    Who will save our people!
    love,

     

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