Posting Again..need Advice

Dear friend,
if that guy is not receptive means, then y u r bothering about him. tell to ur parents, that this guy is not talking to u over the phone. and he is avoiding u. u better to forget him,
look friend, this world is big, definitely u will get good responsible guy, till that u pls wait. pray to god.
do yoga, meditation. go to temples, help orphans, aged persons, ...
definetely u will get a bright future.
u will get married soon with a good, nice guy.
god bless u.
from
malathi

 

Looks like his communication skills are still poor.

Also if kundali matching is most imp thing, then it should be done even before the meeting. These days ppl are following a trend where if they are not interested in a match, they make an excuse of kundali so they can reject the match later due to kundali reason. I personally consider this as a red flag as well now... and it would have been me I would definitely not move ahead with this guy since you don't need great communication skills to care for someone.

However if he comes back and you are interested to take it further, please get into more details about his divorce. Am not sure if a divorce copy can be requested from the court in India or not, but if that's possible, try to get that to understand his communication skills story better. Also try to ask him if he has worked on his communication skills since his divorce or not? If you continue, then please go through 4-5 meetings with him in person before making the final decision. When I was dating a divorcee, ppl here on IL had suggested me to contact his ex-wife to get her story of divorce to understand if the guy is saying the truth or not. I suggest the same to you as well if possible. Wish I had done it in his case, which could have completely avoided me dealing with his temperament issues later along with emotional abuse and trauma.

 

First of all dont take me wrong but India and Indian people should be freed from " parents decisions".After years of Independence i strongly believe that kids should step up their game in life for all goods and bads atleast after 18yrs. Stop saying my mumma asked me to do this my pappa asked me to do that! Enough now for God sake!!
Coming to your issue i wont take a minute to say how immature this post was. You said we talked talked and talked and you didnot mention what exactly did u guys both talk??? Love, sex, property,money, respect, life, understanding past relationship status , your past marital status? In that conversation you mytve got a rough estimate on that person Also you just met him you cant rely on him completelylike he did not ask me this he didnt ask me that! Still if he is not talking stop right there and move on with your life!! Sorry if my reply is not as expected i cannot candy coat and make girl go weak in her decisions or in her life And good luck recovering from Lasik!!

 

This is clearly a no go and I guess you know it too. Don't waste much time on him. There is a good thread in Singles Forum on Red Flags one must consider, I forgot the actual thread name.
I suggest you to go through the same. Good luck in partner search.

 

Anger issues... Lol. Does he know you that well to make that statement. It's not strange I guess.. from my experience ppl just find something to put it on you if they don't want to continue ahead. The last guy asked me for marriage, told me things like he is so lucky that he will be spending his life with me, 2 weeks later he tells me that if my parents doesn't call his parents to finalize our marriage dates soon then he has a big line of gals and their family behind him ready to marry him and then couple of days later he started comparing to me with his ex-wife and saying things like he is scared of me now and he thinks that I don't want to have kids soon after marriage because I can divorce him if I don't like him and his family after marriage. I wasn't clearly getting indications that he isn't really into me now so I kept moving it ahead, but the day when he was supposed to come meet me and spend sometime with me, he started fighting for 5 hours, accusing me of things I had never done or told to him and abusing me and my family. Wish he had directly said 'No' instead of all this drama. I spent 6.5-7 months in that.

Another guy I had met last year had some similar issues. We talked over phone for few weeks, met once, liked each other and he was desperate for a 2nd meet soon within a month so his parents can see me since they were in US then. But after going back from the 1st meeting he started behaving distant. Texts reduced, calls became short or we were now talking on alternate days unlike earlier where he used to call me daily. His excuse was he is busy packing since he is moving to a different city. He was flying out one of the Sunday's early morning and so was gonna spent night at the airport, I called him Thursday afternoon to see what's up with him and he mentioned he has lots of packing to take care of so he will call me later. I gave him his time and space and didn't bother him. I heard nothing from him until Saturday night and he was already supposed to be airport by then. I texted him to check if he was free then and called to see whats up with him and he blasted on me saying he thinks I have too much of attitude since I didn't call him on Friday. I told him as had discussed I was waiting for his call, to which he replied that since he is leaving the city and moving too start something new it was my responsibility to call him. If not that, I should have thought about something bad could have happened to him since there was no communication on Friday and should have called him. He was shouting on top of his lungs and I rejected him. Guess what, he got engaged 2 weeks later. And the woman he got engaged to is daughter of an Indian realtor here in US and is citizen over here. I should have guessed that he is behind green card since he had asked me if I have one 2-3 times during our dating period.

I suggest to do something meaningful instead like reading books or learning some new skills or concentrating on starting a business.