post marriage suggestions

Hi Priya,
Congralutions!!!!
I think its better u prefer a job, right from the start, so that you good manage easily. But once u sit at home and think, we could go for a job later, it would be the greatest mistake u would make in life. As an experienced woman, it is my kind advice take on your job right now. In the coming days we could lead a better life if and only if both husbad and wife are both earning.

Regards,
geetha

 

Dear Priya,

Red signals -
1) He wants you to support him financially when he's earning almost "a lakh per month"
2) He feels inferior to introduce you as a "housewife "!!!
3) You have to manage work and home "somehow" - means without his help ???
4) He's ordering you to work - what do YOU want to do???

Please rethink on these lines and see if his attitude is acceptable to you - there are so many situations in which we need help and support for the husbands regarding home managing, job, kid, finances - unless there is complete give and take on BOTH sides, you will be doing ALL the effort in the marriage and getting not much out of it :-(

Managing house and job is not the difficult part - if you're focussed and planned, you can do both and much more !!!

When I think of the 2 years I spent managing home, job, a 2 year old kid, 82 year old very sick FIL, and also completed my MBA during that time, I feel I can do anything in life but not without DH's support !!!

Whether you are working, housewife, mother, daughter-in-law or wife, your respect doesnt depend on your earning power !!! Your character, your empathy, your speech and humility and your generosity earns respect !!! Remember that !!!

Please think properly and decide
Harini

 

Being financially independent is important to a women, you can opt to not work later if you dont want to continue working & when you know your husband better.

Sorry if I sound negative but this is the advice I would give to my own siblings or kids.

 

Hi Priya,

You've mentioned you had earlier been working for 2 years. What field was the job in? Dont you miss going to work, interacting with other people, and getting paid for your work?

I definitely did, when I had a 8 month break between jobs. Married or not, is immaterial for me and is a separate thing from my professional life. I feel you need both to be a well-rounded individual.

Please dont mistake, I am definitely not saying anything negative about home makers. If you are well qualified, and if the situation is good (like in your case, no kids for now, nothing to worry about), why not go for the job?
Forget about what your DH wants.. what do you want? Think about it and make a decision.

 

what i feel is...

its your decision... what u feel is right, please go ahead...

In my case, iam working as a software engineer and i have a 3.5 yr old daughter... iam going to quit my job in march as iam going to put her in LKG in June.( she is currently doing prekg).. i dnt wan to miss the childhood days of my kid( already i missed 3 and half yrs)... job we can go at any time.. but these days of the kid we wont get back..a mother is a mother and if we are with our kids, definitely there will be a huge impact in their lifes... this is my personal opinion..

i decided to quit my job eventhough iam in a good position and getting good pay..

so it all depends on the individuals.. i think u can go to job till u have a kid..

cheers,
vani

 

Hmmm...it is bad to feel inferior about his wife being a house wife,but there is nothing wrong if he expects you to work for supporting him financially.Make sure to set credible expectations

 

Hi Priya,

I understand your situation... See, as he is making his points clear, you also speak to him clearly as you dont have any problem in working, but it should be your wish after a point of time after marriage. You tell him that you want to support him financially, explain your situation in a positive way. AT some point after marriage, if you want to take a small break, you should not be bound by his words "I said you before marriage only that you have to work" So plz take your dicision.

 

You should tell him that he has to share 50% of household chores including cooking or hire someone to take care of that. What do these men think, wives are their slaves? It is so irritating that men think they are kings and they should be served all the time. It is only fair that when both of you work he shares the household work or hire some help.

 

Hi,

Managinging both work and home is fine as long as hubby is cooperative..
if he is ok to eat outside when u cant cook or he eats what ever u cook with out much of complaints..if u can keep maid and manage.. check all this before itself with ur fiance..
try to observe their mentality if he is understanding type or not.As him for how long u need to work if at all u r not willing to work, if he wants a working girl does tht mean he needs toltal amt of what u earn? or to what extent..
financial independance is good for women but there are men who eat whole of wifes money and make them suffer like anything..(finance is some thing u discuss with him before going ahead with marriage).

 

I agree,if your husband is cooperative then you can work.In your case ,since he is asking you to work,i think he will do some help for you.I think you can work till you have a kid.