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Possesive co sis

Discussion in 'Relationship With In-Laws' started by rng, Jan 27, 2012.

  1. rng

    rng New IL'ite

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    I'm married for almost 2 yrs now. My problem is my BIL's wife. She is always trying to be around my hubby. She will not leave a chance to try to talk to him and try to touch him. The way she behaves is terrific. She behaves as if she knows about my hubby more than me and she can take good care of him. But I have never seen her do that to her husband. My hubby is very handsome and is well settled than my BIL. But my hubby respects her as bhabhi ma. But she is like too fascinated by him. she is too loud mouthed, anything that is said she will always take it in negative way and she will have the last word. She doesnot allow anyone to say anything. Its like she is too bossy. Before our marriage whenver she would talk she would tell me she knows everything about my hubby and she has known this in just a week's time. i just don't understand how to put a stop to her actions, especially keep her away from my hubby.
     
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  2. deepa10

    deepa10 Gold IL'ite

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    Does your husband know about this? What is his reaction?
    Please give some more details. Are you living in joint family? Is your in-laws staying with you?
     
  3. rng

    rng New IL'ite

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    As I said he respects her as bhabhi and I cannot directly talk to him about her behaviour, but when i told i don't like the excessive care that she showers on him he says he feels that as she has no brother, she cares for him. Even my IL's feel the same. But i don't feel it the same. Due to some circumstances we are now staying together, otherwise before we were in a different location. I can sense her feeling towards him. He has other bhabhi's with whom he closer than her, but their behaviour is not like the way she does.
     
  4. SSNmom

    SSNmom Bronze IL'ite

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    Be cautious that you dont say much bad about your co-sis to your hubby, as it may create a reverse effect on you. Be sure to warn her or show face to that lady when she behaves awkward. Always insist that point that your hubby is yours. Take your in-laws in your hand, not by saying bad abt her, but being smooth with them.
     
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  5. amunique

    amunique Gold IL'ite

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    Dear rng,
    You can try this practical approach... you try to over smart her.. in everyway.. if she says what she knows about your hubby, counter attack it immediately and say.. loud.."see you have(your hubby and others should be present around) another mother, who knows you well" and smile always.. be near your hubby always... dont ever leave him alone.. try stressing that word.."another mother" in front of everyone loud.. so that everyone will have a positive approach towards you first.. if her intensions are evil, this would let them out all by her mouth...
    Best of luck.. play this game... :) obiviously. your hubby is for you alone dear remember this..
     
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  6. deepa10

    deepa10 Gold IL'ite

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    I dont think it will be a problem if your husband does not react for it. Itseems he thinks her like a sister. Then you dont worry so much and make it a problem to your husband.

    But when you think she is around your hubby unnecessarily, tell her, didi, let me do it for him. Dont stress too much yourself.. like that and you do everything for him. Also, when all are there, say its very nice to see them (she and your husband) behaves like sister and brother and god bless them both.. Say so sweetly..

    Also when you and ur co-sis are alone, tell her that your husband was talking about her saying that He has got a nice sister in the name of bhabi and something like that..

    Anyways, be happy that you have got a nice husband than your co-sis and enjoy her jealousy :);-)
     
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  7. deepa10

    deepa10 Gold IL'ite

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    Amunique, reading your post I felt it is the same I thought!! :)
     
  8. rng

    rng New IL'ite

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    Yes i'm cauious about that. My IL's are very good. They are very large hearted. they care for me just like their daughter as they have none. They know she very loud mouthed, but as don't discuss things openely because they want a joint family. Even i respect their thoughts. Hence i want to put an end to her behaviour. She knows i'm watching her behaviour, even then she behaves like that. She has gone to the extent of making a statement that i don't allow her to touch my hubby. I just can't seem to understand if Im wrong in thinking about her, or is behaving it just create a rift between me and my hubby. what exactly is going on i don't seem too get. She sees that my hubby loves me and even i love him. Everybody praises us as a couple. My husband is everyone's favourite in our family. The other cousin brothers and their wives live seperate, but we always get together whenever we get a chance. I'm very lucky to have such good IL's and cousin BILs and their wives are very nice to me. they are all soft spoken and very decent.
     
  9. rng

    rng New IL'ite

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    Thank YOu Amunique!
    I see what you are trying to say. I will do that. But i hardly speak to her, because she is too harsh with words. But I will try what you have said.
     
  10. rng

    rng New IL'ite

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    Thanks deepa10!
    Even your advised has helped me. Now i'm feeling a lot better to approach the solution of this problem. I will enjoy all i can. She knows that i know what she is doing and doesn't seem to stop it. She knows i'm watching her every step and still she continues doing it. I have a wonderful husband and IL's thank god for that. Even my BIL is a very nice person, actually he very silent kind, hence this makes a her to sharpen her tongue against any possible person whom she meets.
     

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