Dear ilites, I have a very serious problem with neighbours. The lady asked about the caste when we met 3 years back n i told her we have mixed in our family n she started thinking that we belong to her core community in Andhra .we exchanged food n were very close .But now my problem is if in future she comes to know we are different then what happens .Her GD 3 yrs comes to paly us ,,she was raised here ,its just next door house ,how to avoid suddenly ,cannot ask the girl not to come ,she is so used to us.my greatest concern what if they fight since she ate our food .They became so close thinking we belong to that community.My kids also play with her . I dont know how to put all these here .i am getting night mares if i think about this n unable to control my thoughts.Please throw some light on this .i was ignorant about these things but now feeling low .
If she is aware of your family surnames its easy to find out the caste if she is so keen on knowing.It is understood that she is your neighbour since 3 years.are you sure she doesn't know your family surnames?if she knows then you don't have to worry.
When some one talks about caste, my standard response is we don't believe in it and that is true in my case , my children never heard any reference to any caste in our home . I also some times say , really in this age and times , do we need caste and they can make up their mind to interact with me or not. Are they vegetarians ... If so you can make sure not to serve non veg food. If she asks next time, say we don't discuss caste and leave it at that. Don't stress . I know some one in my office who googles caste based on surnames .. Pathetic .
I am not sure which sector of the spacetime continuum you and your neighbor inhabit, but here on Sol-III, just past Rosh Hashanah 5779, I would invest in one of these. The general use protocol is shown here. Good Luck!
Thanks for your replies guys but these people in andhra n hyderabad area are particular in this . Though i am from the same place ,this is first time experience. The lady landed here to raise her grand daughter n she made all mess ,i was also being unaware was close but she passed the same info that we r same community to another neighbour . Hmmm. I am shocked n she passes the same to her relatives as well. May be it is their practice,i was ignorant n foolish i beleive was not smart enough . Ever sec i am thinking about many incidents n am unable to concentrate on my own things. Tjis is my own miatake ,they are non vegetarians. Her Gd always was on my rasam which i gave .the lady's another daughter opened one day ,i was shocked. OMG when ever the elder lady visits there will be little friction .Some thing or other happens.this may sound strange . Any ways try to put some more inputs here . I cannot completely avoid they r just just next door ,no much room.they will definetly be discussing about us n our names being taken from thier mouths ,i dont think all this was necessary but it happened accidentaly.the lady also told they r very particular problem they r upper class we are BC.there was misunderstanding but i just want to be silent n not to show attitude ,since they r next door .what do u all suggest?
Just be honest. The next time when she tells anything with the impression that you belong to the same caste as her family, then stop her.. and say "no ma.. we are different, and you have mistaken us, though we don't mind about caste at this age and time". Repeat the same when she passes comments with other neighbor or relative on this. What is bothering you from opening up your caste? You are very clear that this woman has mistaken your caste, and bases her relationship on this matter. clarify this asap
I agree with SGBV. Please let them know about your caste and clarify. If they are particular about caste they might stop talking to you. If not they will be same. Dont get blamed on future if they are particular. I pity ppl who are still into this caste thing. I’m from upper class and married my husband who is from BC.
