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Pls help how to takle this cunning and cruel Co-sister

Discussion in 'Relationship With In-Laws' started by swathimanindra, Oct 16, 2012.

  1. swathimanindra

    swathimanindra New IL'ite

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    Hello Ladies

    I have married since 3 yrs and i stay in joint family. We stay along with my Husband's brothers family and my in-laws doesnt stay with us but visits our place offenly.I have to stay along with co-sister family. My in-laws doesnt want to make us saperate but we have lot of problems staying along with their family, for this 3 yrs my life is like a hell.
    Coming to my co-sister she is elder to me and take cares of every thing in our home because we handover our money for household expenses every month since i got married she take cares of but she blames me that i dont do anything in our family and she is only one who takes care of everything.. She has two kids but she doesnt like if i take care of them ..she will never allow them to enter my room. when i got married i was doing my MCA 1st year she use to stay at home and everyday equal to her i used to wake up in the morning help her in cooking and all other household work. but she always blames me iam not working.. After reaching home i used to take care of other household work. till now she dint tell me gas booking number, current bill paying not even small things.. simply she wants to blame me that am not concerned of anything in our home.. Now she is working because am going to college.
    Now i completed my studies and am pregnant now am staying at home. Now she is asking me there is some money missing at home.. She use to ask me same question when i stay at home and afterwards some how she will get calculations. she asked me whether i spent it for anything. Now she is making me lift weights..wantedly she is leaving everthing undone(household work) so that i will do that. She is making me to eat yesterday leftover food. Everytime she use to lift 50kgs rice bag but now am pregnant she want s me to lift that.. previously i had one abortion due to this.
    Now am unable to concentrate on my pregnancy everthime i have mind full of her works what she asked me.. i cannot give back answer to her but she blames me for everthing.. She doesnt like me and she doesnt care of belongings she will leave it as it is.. but am not like that every day when she leaves to her work i will put her family in washing machine and keep it for dry and i make fold.. but she never does it it me.. she never cares for my clothes and belongings.. Even in pregnancy i will finish every hold work before she reaches home..
    pls someone suggest me how to change my life.. how to take care of my pregnancy and forget about her..Even she makes me cry everday i want to be stand on myself but everytime i lose.. am very depressed:bonk
     
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  2. anushri

    anushri IL Hall of Fame

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    First of all Congrats on your pregnancy :)

    We should not waste our time and energy in handling dhushtaas, better stay away from them. You have to move out. So take a decision before its too late.
     
  3. b1985

    b1985 Bronze IL'ite

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    I would suggest you can stay with your parents until your delivery if that is possible. so that you can have some rest and good food... Dont have a tensed life when you are pregnant... it is not advisable for the LO's health.... or the other way...jus let all the words go off... dont take it your heart.....
     
  4. anuram09

    anuram09 IL Hall of Fame

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    whole post is filled with 'she' 'she' 'she'..Dear whats your husband doing? Why you are not voicing your concerns and feeling to your hubby? This time is not to handle these things, but to concentrate on your pregnancy. First go to your mom's house and talk to your hubby. Let him handle these things.
     
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  5. anugamit

    anugamit Platinum IL'ite

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    First pregnancy???? Go to parents' house, better for health and peace of mind.
     
  6. anugamit

    anugamit Platinum IL'ite

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    :exactly: where is he in the picture????
     
  7. Sridevi

    Sridevi Bronze IL'ite

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    why are you tolerating all these...During your pregnancy, it's utmost important, you take care of yourself for baby's sake and keep your mind free from tension..Pls force your DH to see another house for you both and move out...Have a safe delivery...
     
  8. parvathi1980

    parvathi1980 Platinum IL'ite

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    Don't pick heavy things during pregnancy. Bluntly refuse. No need to feel scared. It is your health and your your baby's health that is top priority now.
     
  9. Priya16

    Priya16 IL Hall of Fame

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    If you are strong enough to ask for seperate house,no one can really do anything.She is not your MIL where your husband wanted to live with them.It's only your in-laws force.If things are not going well,even they can't do anything.Just tell that you can't live there and you wanted seperate house.Tell your husband that you are no way going to do all those works.
    Don't try to be nice to here.Be yourself and take care of yourself.Is she doens't finish work,you also don't finish.When you husband comes talk before your husband.If you take quitly no knows what's going on behind.
    Don't cry in silence.If you BIL get to know issues,may be he works with this parents to get the seperate house.
     
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  10. GodIsOne

    GodIsOne Gold IL'ite

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    Congratulations on your pregnancy.

    It is okay to do household works during pregnancy as it will help you for a safe normal delivery. Lifting weight, especially, a 50KG sack of rice is a strict NO NO. Mental stress is also very bad for you when you are pregnant.

    I would suggest to go to your Mother's place and once you are there continue doing house hold chores and keep yourselves busy.
     

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